


Eileen’s Boy

by sevlandexplorer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Addiction, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Creature Severus Snape, Elves, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Good Severus Snape, M/M, Severus Snape-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-02-06 09:30:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 70,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12814626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevlandexplorer/pseuds/sevlandexplorer
Summary: Eileen kept his boy’s identity secret from everyone, even Severus himself. She taught him how to hide and how to survive. Now, years after her death, everything starts to unravel.





	1. Mothers Know Best

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> I'm back with another fic. This time I wanted to do something different and chose to work with the older Severus. I hope you guys like it. I would really love to know what you think, so please comment :D

Severus woke up with a start and looked about frantically, panic clenching at his heart. He couldn't remember what his dream had been about but he knew he had been falling. He took a few shaking breaths and tried to calm his nerves before putting a finger on his neck to check his pulse. His vein was hammering against his skin as if trying to break loose. Feeling even more panicked, Severus got out of bed and dragged himself to the bathroom. He fumbled with the tap and managed to get the water running with some effort. As he splashed the cool water to his face, his pulse finally settled and he lifted his head to look at his reflection in the mirror. He blinked and got the wet hair out of the way to get a closer look. His face was flushed, did he have a fever? Why was he shivering then?

"The flu." he whispered to himself in disgust. He had caught the flu a few weeks ago, he had had a fever and sever nausea but his symptoms had subsided. It was just his luck, catching the flu twice in a year.

Severus sighed in relief as he found a few leftover potions in the cabinet above the sink and took a swallow of the anti-fever and headache potion. He stood there for a few more minutes before stumbling back to bed. His clock showed four thirteen and he desperately wished he could go to sleep. It had taken him some time to fall asleep the night before and he felt bone deep tired. He laid there, counting the minutes, cursing the clock, cursing his brown nosed brat students that were nothing but clusters of germs and virus, cursing himself. At four forty two, he had finally had enough. He tossed his duvet aside with a huff and got out of bed, going about his morning routine.

He thought once the day started things would get batter, but he was dead wrong. He tried to busy himself with work but couldn’t for the life of him concentrate on anything. Then there was a Quidditch match to go to, Gryffindor against Ravenclaw. He had done his best to sit upright during the game and keep himself from grimacing, thinking that was the worst of it but then that arrogant boy Malfoy and his idiot friends had come up with the insane idea to scare Potter dressing like dementors. The whole thing had been a disaster. Not only had they put Potter in danger but they had managed to lose fifty House points.

Not to mention Gryffindor had won the game, which meant Minerva spent the whole dinner gloating and taunting him. 

After all that he once more found himself lying awake in bed. He was about to give up and take a sleeping potion when Albus’ patronus appeared before him.

“Sirius Black has been seen at the Gryffindor tower. Come to the entrance hall at once!” the old man’s words ringed in Severus’ ears for a few minutes as he stared at the silver bird in confusion. It wasn’t until the patronus disappeared that Severus came out of his trace. He put on his boots and pulled his teaching robes on before getting to the entrance hall as fast as he could.

“What’s going on?” he asked the other teachers.

“Black was inside Harry Potter’s dormitory. He slashed one of the boys’ bed curtains with a knife and disappeared when he started yelling.” Flitwick informed him.

“He cut Potter’s bed curtains?”

“No, it was Mr. Weasley’s I believe.” 

Severus felt his eyebrows raising. “Black got inside the castle, went all the way to Gryffindor’s dormitories, only to attack Mr. Weasley’s curtain and then ran away.” he said incuridously. “Are we sure it was not the boy’s imagination?”

“I wouldn’t have gotten all of you out of bed if I wasn’t sure!” snapped Minerva. “The portrait let him in.”

“The portrait? He had the password?”

“Forgive me Severus but we do not have time for this. We need to search the castle.” Dumbledore cut in and started to pair up the teachers to form search parties. 

Severus pursed his lips in displeasure as he was partnered with Lupin. 

“Ready Severus?” asked the insufferable man.

Severus simply pulled his wand out of his pocket and turned on his heels to make his way upstairs. Lupin fell into step beside him, trying to keep up with his long strides. At any other time he would have found that amusing but he was too weary to care.

“Are you feeling alright? You look out of breath.” asked Lupin as they got to the third floor.

Severus ignored the question. “I take the left side and you take the right.” he ordered.

“Fine. Call me if you find anything.” said Lupin, frowning.

Severus watched him leave suspiciously before going the opposite way and started searching the corridor. He was almost at the end when he halted suddenly, clenching his chest in pain. His heart was racing, his breaths were coming out raged and he could feel beads of sweat running down his back. His vision started to blur as he collapsed to the floor. He couldn’t remember where he was and what he had been doing.

“Severus, have you been taking your potion like you were supposed to?” 

Severus looked up to see his mother looming over him. “I did.” he answered. “I take it every month.”

“Don’t lie to me!”

“I’m not lying, mom. I know I need my potion.” he whispered.

“Then how do you explain this?” asked Eileen, holding out a roll of parchment. 

Severus stared at the parchment in confusion. It was a letter from Professor Sprout. Why was she writing to his mom? He had already graduated.

“I’ve been taking my potion, I swear! I don’t know why she would write to you.” said someone in a small voice. Severus and Eileen both turned to look at the boy who had appeared next to them. 

“It says you show exceptional abilities.” Eileen told the boy, her tone harsh. “What does that mean?”

The boy took a step back. “The plants … they like me. They grow faster when they see me. They … they do what I tell them to and they never hurt me, not even the poisonous ones.” he explained, getting excited in spite of himself. 

“What did I tell you when you first went to Hogwarts? I told you to act natural and to tell me at once if something unusual happens. I’ve been telling you that your entire life!”

“Don’t yell at him. It’s not his fault. He can’t help it.” said Severus as he saw the young boy burst into tears.

Eileen turned to him. “It IS all your fault! I’ve shown you a hundred times how to make that potion and you still haven’t learned.” 

“I know how to make the damn potion!” he snapped.

“No you don’t.” hissed Eileen and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him. 

“You’re not doing it right, Severus … Severus? … Can you hear me? … Severus?”

Severus blinked and tried to focus his eyes. His mother was no longer there, it was Lupin shaking him. The man was crouching in front of him and he had a worried expression on his face. “Severus? Do you know where you are?” he asked.

“I …” he started, looking around. “Of course I know, we’re at Hogwarts. Get off me Lupin.” he snapped, glaring at the hand resting on his shoulder.

“You’re fine then.” mumbled Lupin with a hint of irritation in his voice and got to his feet. 

“Why shouldn’t I be?”

“For one thing you were yelling something about a potion.” 

“Must have fallen sleep.” said Severus, raising to his feet shakily. His sweat drenched clothes were sticking to him.

“That would explain a lot.”

“Excuse me?”

“If that’s how you always sleep then … never mind. It was just a bad joke.”

Severus narrowed his eyes but didn’t comment, eager to let the issue drop. “I searched my half of the corridor, are you done with your half?”

“Errr … yeah. I didn’t find anything. We should go to the Headmaster’s office … or perhaps we should get you to the infirmary first.”

“I’m fine. I just need to rest. I have the flu.” said Severus. He knew now that he didn’t have the flu. “In fact I think I should go to my rooms and rest.”

“Of course, Severus. I’ll handle the report.” said Lupin. The man stayed close to him as they made their way down to the ground floor and Severus could feel his eyes on him as he continued to the dungeons. 

Once he reached his rooms, he picked up a piece of parchment and sat behind his desk. He wrote down his symptoms, starting with hallucination. Once he was done he stared at the list in horror. His mother was right, the potion was not working right. He was going through withdrawal.


	2. The Potion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus gets rid of everything that could be ruining his potion.

Severus vanished the daisy roots with a sigh and casted a cleaning and sterilizing charm on the shelf before moving on to the bag of apothecary purchases. He was replacing all the ingredients for his potion and all the ingredients sitting next to those on the shelves. He was also sterilizing his tools and replacing some of them. It cost a big chunk of his savings but there was no help for it. Any other time he would have done a through analysis to find the true source of the problem but he was too sick and unable to focus on something that complicated. 

He knew he had not screwed up his potion. His brews were always perfect, he made certain of that. Also, this had not just started. He had obviously been going through the same thing the month before. He had assumed it was the flu but now he knew better. His health had improved after taking his potion, however seventeen days later he had started showing symptoms of withdrawal again.

All this meant that there was an element interfering with the brew. It was not ruining the potion, rather making it less effective. It was always possible that something in the lab would disturb the brews. Severus had dismissed that possibility at once. He was compulsively neat when it came to his lab and besides, he had been brewing wolfsbane successfully the whole year. That wouldn't have been possible had his lab condition were not up to standards. Severus believed there was something that was directly affecting the potion, which meant the problem came from his equipment or the ingredients.

When he was done placing everything in their right place, he collapsed on his stool and put his head in his hands. It would be over soon, he told himself. All he had left to do was brewing his potion and then he could take the sleeping potion and rest. He had not taken any the night before, he got one dose every other night that would get him five hours of uninterrupted sleep. Any more than that and he would develop dependence on the concoction to the point that he wouldn't be able to sleep without it. Another addition to deal with, how wonderful would that be? 

Severus sighed again. He pulled his sweat soaked hair into a tight bun at the nape of his neck and picked up his knife. He could almost sense the ghost of his mother's hand closing around his own and it felt as if she was there with him guiding his hands through the motions, just like she used to when he was a kid. The knife had been too heavy back then, the ingredients too stubborn to submit to him. His hand would start shaking before he was done with the preparations but mother's hold stayed firm and the lines if her face harsh. The stirring that followed had seemed endless and by the time it was finally by some miracle over, his whole arm would be burning from the labor.

He used to resent her for it, but now he understood. The potion was a life line, a means for survival. He still resented her sometimes, but not for teaching him to brew the potion, he was grateful for that. What he resented was her coldness. His mother had wanted him to be tough and he was but there were times when he cursed her for shaping him into the person he was. It had not been all her, he knew. He had made mistakes and he still did. He only got worse with age, uglier and more bitter.

He remembered the day he had finally found out what the potion did. His mother had never told him what it was for, not really, only that he would be weak without it. He had not even known the potions’ name. His first year at Hogwarts, he’d spend hours in the library to find it, he had practically gone through all the books that were not in the restricted section. When his search turned fruitless, he had started to read on the potions theory to find out what his potion did based on the ingredients and the recipe. He had continued his research all through his seven years of magical education and he didn’t limit his search to the Hogwarts library. He’d read anything potions related. He’d beg Professor Slughorn to let him look at his potion magazines. He’d do favors for his housemates so that they would lend him something, anything from their family library. And the answer had come from a book in Lucius Malfoy’s privet collection. 

He had found the book when he was invited over for a party, a Death Eater party to be exact. Lucius and Narcissa had been talking to the dark Lord and the house elves had been busy catering to the guests and everyone had been too drunk to notice him sneak into Lucius’ study. He had been drawn to the old, dusty volume, because he got the feeling that someone had intended to hide it. It had been full of potions one could use to deal with unwanted offspring and things like that. It was necessary knowledge for pureblood Lords. There were always illegitimate children and squibs to deal with and sometimes a family needed to claim a child as their own when they failed to produce one themselves. His potion though was something that was very rarely used. It was meant for suppressing one’s true nature and was called the cloaking potion. One used the cloaking potion when they happened to have a child with creature blood and for some reason didn’t want to get rid of them. The potion suppressed the creature side and made the drinker appear human. It not only prevented their features to resemble creatures, but it blocked most of their unusual abilities. 

After the first war Severus had decided to stop using the cloaking potion one summer, wanting to know what he really was. He had prepared the potion but hadn’t consumed it. The result had been brutal, making him cave after four days. He had almost tried a few times over the years, but he always had something more important going on; teaching, research, playing babysitter to the golden boy. At least that's what he kept telling himself. The truth was that he didn’t have anyone that he could trust to look after him when his condition got really bad. Potion withdrawal was an extremely dangerous process, specially for someone like him, who had been taking the cloaking potion since he was five years old.

He certainly wasn’t ready now, he thought as he turn off the burner and picked up a goblet with trembling hands. He poured the silver liquid in the goblet and brought it to his lips, downing it greedily. It would be over, he told himself; the headaches, the fever, the nausea, the insomnia und the hallucination. Severus checked on the wolfsbane that was simmering in a corner one last time and left the lab. He could clean up tomorrow.


	3. Indifference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus reflects on his feelings towards Snape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter, I borrowed a few lines from the book "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azbakan" chapter 14.

Another full moon had come and passed and Remus was in one of his dark moods. The full moon was the time he felt completely lonely, without his family and friends around.

The world was a funny place, thought Remus as he glanced at the other side of the table where Snape was sitting right next to Minerva. It was obvious to anyone, that the man was third in command after the Headmaster and the Deputy Headmistress even though he was the youngest professor in the school.

Never in his life had Remus thought he'd be envious of Snivellus Snape, but he was. They were the same age, yet Snape had a Mastery and was one of the most competent brewers in Europe. Not to mention one of the four Heads of Houses in Hogwarts. And Remus had spent the years wandering about, without a purpose, without a permanent job, without anyone who …

Remus shook his head, it was pathetic to feel sorry for yourself. He always did that when he was in one of his dark moods. He had been a hardworking student, though perhaps not the most brilliant one. Nevertheless, everyone always said he was going to have a bright future, even people who knew about his fury problem. He had been one of the good guys, he had sacrificed and fought next to everyone else and had put his life on the line more than once.

Snape on the other hand had been consumed in the dark arts, and he had no doubt the man had been a Death Eater. And here they were, Snape a senior staff member and Head of House, and him a onetime Professor. It wasn't fair.

Snape wasn't even a good teacher. All of his students hated him, Harry certainly did. Remus sighed, he supposed he should be grateful to be here, where he was warm and comfortable and that he was getting close to Harry.

He narrowed his eyes when he saw Minerva and Severus start their bickering. They always found something to argue about, mostly their Houses and their students. Remus would give anything to be on bickering terms with Minerva. He used to be the transfiguration teacher’s favorite student, even though he hadn’t been as good as James and Sirius in her class. Now, he wandered if he’d ever be as close to her as Snape was. Sure, Minerva and he were always polite to each other. They'd share pleasantries and have a laugh and she always had a fund look on her face when she looked at him but it wasn't the same thing.

Remus watched as Snape suddenly jumped out of his chair and stormed out through the back door. What made everything worse was the fact that the man didn’t seem to appreciate what he had and acted as if all of this was beneath him. 

More depressed than before, Remus rose from his seat to retreat to his office. Today most of the students were going to Hogsmeade and that meant he could have some peace and quiet. As he was passing Albus and Minerva’s seats he heard Snape’s name and tried to eavesdrop. 

"I'm worried about him. I don't remember the last time I saw him actually eat at meals." he heard Minerva say and barely managed to keep himself from rolling his eyes.

…………………………………………

Remus was feeling better by midday. He was settled by the fire in his office, reading a new novel and had a pot of tea and a plate of biscuits handy. He held his breath as he got to an especially emotional part and almost had a heart attack when someone called him through the fireplace.

"Lupin!" came Snape’s voice. "I want a word!"

Remus groaned and put in a bookmark to save the page. Whatever it was, he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible and get back to his book.

He took a deep breath before going through the fireplace.

"You called, Severus?" he said mildly, after brushing the ash off his shabby robes.

"I certainly did," said Snape, his face contorted with fury as he strode to his desk. "I have just asked Potter to empty his pockets. He was carrying this."

Snape pointed at a parchment sitting on his desk. Remus could make out the words of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs shining on it and recognized the map immediately.

"Well?" said Snape.

Remus continued to stare at the map, trying to think quickly.

"Well?" said Snape again. "This parchment is plainly full of Dark Magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, Lupin. Where do you imagine Potter got such a thing?"

Remus looked up and, by the merest half-glance in Harry's direction, warned him not to interrupt.

"Full of Dark Magic?" he repeated mildly. "Do you really think so, Severus? It looks to me as though it is merely a piece of parchment that insults anybody who reads it. Childish, but surely not dangerous? I imagine Harry got it from a joke shop --"

"Indeed?" said Snape, angrily. His expression changed a second later. He grabbed his left forearm, his breaths coming in short gasps. He seemed to compose himself, though. "You … you think a joke shop could supply him with such a thing? You don't think it more likely that he got it directly from the man … manufacturers?" he asked, beads of sweat shining on his forehead.

Remus opened his mouth to response but then Snape collapsed. Remus caught him before he hit the ground. He blinked and stood there frozen for a moment, then lowered the man to the stone floor and checked his pulse. 

"What is wrong with him?" asked Harry, leaning closer.

"I'm sure it's nothing." answered Remus with a reassuring smile.

Not a second later, Snape started seizing. Harry yelped and stepped back. Remus though, swallowed his panic and put the man's head in his lap, doing his best to keep him still.

Suddenly, Ronald Weasley burst into the office. "I -- gave -- Harry -- that -- stuff," he choked. "Bought -- it...in …” he trailed off then, his eyes widening as he took in the scene before him.

"Go tell Madam Pomfrey what happened. We'll be through the floo in a second." ordered Remus. "Both of you, now!" he snapped when none of his students moved.

Harry and Ron scrambled to comply. Remus could hear the sound of their feet hitting the stone floor as they left. He looked down at Snape and swore. The seizure had started at least two minutes ago. He didn't know much about seizures but he had a feeling it wasn't a good sign. He sat there on the floor for what felt like hours and finally, the shaking subsided.

Remus sighed in relief and gathered the unconscious man in his arms to floo but soon realized he couldn't floo with both his hands occupied. He put his burden back on the floor and picked up a handful of floo powder. As an after though pocketed the map and this time draped the man over his shoulder before flooing to the hospital wing. He almost dropped Snape as he stumble out of the fireplace and he was certain he had bumped the man's head at least once on the way.

He lowered the potion Professor on the closest bed and stepped aside as Madam Pomfrey started working on her patient.

Remus sank on a chair bonelessly, relieved that he had done his part.

"Do you think he's going to be alright?" Harry asked him uncertainly. He and Ron were both staring at their motionless Professor. Seeing Snape seizing must have been horrifying for them.

Remus stared at the man, too. He was as white as chalk and he had dark bags under his eyes. Had he looked like that since this morning? No wonder Minerva had been worried. "I'm sure Madam Pomfrey can fix whatever is wrong with him." said Remus with confidence he wasn't feeling. He then, remembered something. “I need to talk to the two of you about that parchment.”

Harry and Ron both looked confused at first but then blushed and nodded. Remus motioned for them to follow him to the corridor.

"Professor, I --"

"I don't want to hear explanations," said Remus shortly. He glanced around the empty corridor and lowered his voice. "I happen to know that this map was confiscated by Mr. Filch many years ago. Yes, I know it's a map," he said as Harry and Ron looked amazed. "I don't want to know how it fell into your possession. I am, however, astounded that you didn't hand it in. Particularly after what happened the last time a student left information about the castle lying around. And I can't let you have it back, Harry."

"Why did Snape think I'd got it from the manufacturers?" asked Harry.

"Because..." Remus hesitated, "because these mapmakers would have wanted to lure you out of school. They'd think it extremely entertaining."

"Do you know them?" said Harry, impressed.

"We've met," he said shortly. He was looking at Harry more seriously than ever before.

"Don't expect me to cover up for you again, Harry. I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the Dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them -- gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks." said Remus. “Now, go to your common room.” 

He watched the boys walk away, then went back in the infirmary. 

“How is he, Poppy?” he asked.

Poppy sighed. “The good news is that the seizure did not do any damage, but I have no idea what could have caused it. Which means it could happen again.” she explained. “Would you watch him? I need to inform Albus of what happened and discuss a few things with him.”

“Yes, of course.”

“Come get me at once if he has another seizure.” added Poppy over her shoulder as she hurried away.

Remus sat on the bed next to Snape’s and kept an eye on the man as his thoughts wandered. The truth was that he didn’t care if the Professor was unwell. He wouldn't intentionally hurt the man and he would help him again if it became necessary, but he wouldn’t be upset if Snape died.

There were people that Remus would be thrilled to see dead, people like Fenrir Greyback and Bellatrix Lestrange. He didn't hate Snape like he hated them, but he didn't like him either. He had never liked Snape.

He had always considered himself a companionate person but right now, he was only worried about his wolfsbane and whether it would be available in time for the next full moon. That thought made him sick.


	4. The Dark Mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus notices a change.

Severus came to it slowly. It felt as if he was under the water, trying to raise to the surface. He could make out the smell of potions and he felt warm and cozy. When he managed to open his eyes, his vision was bleary and it took a few minutes for everything to become clear. 

“Infirmary.” he whispered to himself. Why was he here? Was he sick? He had been sick, he knew. He had felt better for a couple of days after drinking his potion but then the symptoms had returned. He hadn’t taken the potion again, afraid of an overdose. The potion may not have been working correctly but some of the ingredients were dangerous when consumed in large doses. And then … his left forearm had started to burn.

Severus grabbed his arm, even though it didn’t hurt anymore. Potter and Lupin had been in his office and for a moment he had felt like the mark was ripping his flesh. Frowning, Severus lifted the sleeve of his pajama to check if his arm was still intact. 

Everything seemed to be in order, except he couldn’t see the mark. He brought his forearm closer to his eyes and inspected it carefully. The faint outline that showed where the mark once had stood was no longer there. His skin was pale and smooth and the weight of the magic that had been there since he was eighteen was gone.

Severus dropped his arm when he heard footsteps approaching. He glanced at the door and realized he was in a private room. Madam Pomfrey stepped through the door a second later. She stopped in her tracks as her eyes fell on him and blinked before her features softened and a small smile appeared on her lips. “Look who’s finally up!” she said brightly and came closer, running her wand over him.

“How long?” asked Severus, his voice raspy.

“This would be the fourth day.”

Severus frowned, counting the days in his head. “It’s Tuesday?”

“Yes. The other Professors had been covering your classes, mostly Charity.”

“What happened?”

“What do you remember?” Poppy asked him, her tone turning professional.

“I … I remember it was Hogsmeade weekend and then … there was Potter and Lupin. I called him, I think.” said Severus, getting frustrated.

“It’s alright. That’s normal.” Poppy assured him. “From what Remus said, you had seen Mr. Potter carrying Zonko’s merchandise and were talking to him in your office to make sure he hadn’t left the school and then you called Remus to help you resolve the situation.” 

Severus shook his head. It came back to him. It was just like Lupin to stretch the truth and cover up for Potter. “I think I fainted.” he said uncertainly.

“You did. And then you had a seizure and another one the next day. I don’t know what caused the episode but it seemed to have passed.” explained Poppy. “How are you feeling, now?” she asked.

“I’m fine.” answered Severus and he meant it. He was tired and weak, but there was no ache, nausea or headache. He hadn’t felt this good in a long time. What did that mean? Could it be …

“You’re far from fine, but with some rest you’ll be back on your feet in no time.”

“I don’t want to stay in the infirmary.” he said, panicking. 

“Calm down, Severus. Stress isn’t good for you. If you can be a good boy and do as I say for a couple of days, you can go to your own rooms. Now, how about some Porridge? You need to eat to get your strength back.”

“Soup. I’d rather have soup.” said Severus. He needed her away for more than a couple of minutes.

“Soup is fine. I’ll order you a nice thick chicken soup.” agreed Poppy, before turning to leave.

Severus sat still until she closed the door behind her and then reached under his pillow, hoping to find his wand. He relaxed a little as his fingers closed around the dark wood and summoned the clipboard sitting on the table by the door.

Severus scanned the parchment pinned to the clipboard and swore. The medication listed there were normal treatment for seizures. If Poppy hadn’t given him anything to cure the symptoms of his potion withdrawal, it meant the symptoms had disappeared on their own and the cloaking potion was out of his system. 

Severus took a deep breath and tried to calm his nerves and come up with a plan. He had no idea what he would turn into, but he probably had a few days until the changes appeared. He needed to get out of here as soon as possible and if the changes started while he was still in the hospital, then he’d just have to use a glamour charm to hide it.

Feeling a little better, he waved his wand again to get the clipboard back where it had been and lied down but tensed again as remembered something. He ran his wand over his left forearm, the mark was truly gone. There was no trace of magic there anymore. The thing that had been taunting him all these years, the mark of the biggest mistake of his life had vanished.

It must have been the cloaking potion. He had started taking the potion when he was very young; before his magical core had become whole, years before he had taken the mark. Once the effects of the potion had started to wear off, the mark had gone with it. The magic in the mark had become entangled with the magic of the potion and once the effects of the cloaking potion had lifted, it had forced the mark to come off as well, and that’s what had caused his seizures. 

Severus jumped a little as Poppy opened the door once more and came in with a tray. She put the tray on the bedside table and sighed. “What did I tell you? If you want out of here, you have to behave.” she scolded and pried the wand gently out of his hand. “Now, eat. You’re skin and bones.” she added and levitated the tray over the bed.

Severus picked up the spoon. She was right, no one was going to notice the absence of his mark but they were sure to notice if his appearance changed and he had to get better if he wanted to go through that in private.


	5. Get Well Wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus gets a few gifts and a couple of visitors.

Severus tilted his head to one side as he studied his reflection in the mirror. His ears had become pointy but other than that there were no distinct differences. 

Any number of magical creatures had pointy ears, including creatures that looked cross between human and animals, like sphinxes and centaurs. It wasn’t possible for those creatures to reproduce with a human, though. He supposed, he had to be grateful for that. Even though they were intelligent and elegant creatures, it would be absolutely humiliating to grow paws or hooves and being forced to walk on four legs.

Could he be half-Goblin or god forbid, half-house elf? No, he was too tall for either of those. He shuddered as he thought how painful it would be to suddenly shrink down. He was not abnormally tall, but perhaps he could be half-troll? Did trolls have pointy ears? If he was a troll, did that mean he was going to turn dumb in a few days? That would be torture.

"Severus, are you alright in there?" called Poppy from the other side of the door, bringing him out of his musings.

Severus sighed. "Yes." he said in irritation.

"It's time for your potions. Are you coming out of the bathroom any time soon or do you rather I come in?" asked Poppy, sarcastically.

Severus rolled his eyes. He pulled his hair over his ears and casted a charm to keep it in place before stepping out of the bathroom. Poppy had already laid out his potions on the nightstand. There were also a few wrapped packages and get well cards. 

“Did you have a nice bath?” asked the mediwitch with a frown. She was a bit cross with him since he had insisted to bathe that morning instead of using a cleaning spell.

“Yes, I did fine and no I didn’t hurt myself.” he answered shortly as he made his way carefully to his bed.

Poppy pursed her lips together and started giving him his potions. “You are doing better today, but you need to save your strength and stop trying my patience.” she said once she was done.

“You said I could go back to my rooms in a couple of days.”

“I know what I said. We’ll see how you do and I might let you leave tomorrow if you promise to rest while you’re on your own. On the plus side, you get to have visitors today.”

“Am I supposed to be happy about that?”

“Quit nagging, Severus. Now, try to go back to sleep. I’ll come wake you in time for lunch.” said poppy, then collected his potions and left.

Having nothing better to do, Severus laid back and closed his eyes but he was too preoccupied to sleep, so he gave up after a few minutes and busied himself with the gifts Poppy had left on the nightstand. He was done opening the useless knick knack his colleagues had been kind enough to get him and half way through reading the cards when he heard the door slowly creak open. Severus narrowed his eyes as he saw Lupin come in, walking on his tip toes. “What the hell are you doing, Lupin?” he snapped.

The man startled. “Sorry, Poppy told me you were sleeping. I didn’t want to wake you.” he said, smiling.

“What do you want?”

“I … I just wanted to give you this.” said Lupin holding out a box of Honeydukes chocolate.

“Nothing from Zonko’s?” Severus bit out.

Lupin paled a little and put the chocolate on the nightstand. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, then picked up the book Charity had given him. “I Love Danielle Still, but I haven’t read this one yet. Is it good?” he asked, attempting to lighten the mood. 

“I wouldn’t know. I don’t waste my time reading useless dribble.”

“Oh, it’s a gift then? You should really give it a try. I used to be like you, but I tried it once and now I read anything I can get my hands on.”

“If I let you have the book, will you leave me alone?” 

Lupin sighed and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Alright, I’ll get out of your hair. You need your rest and I have a class in ten minutes.”

“Good.” 

“I hope you get better soon. Everyone was really worried about you.” said Lupin and moved to put the book back.

“Just take it.” snapped Severus.

“Um … thanks. I’ll give it back as soon as I read it.” said the man uncertainly and gave him another smile. “Looks like Albus is here to visit you.” he added when he opened the door.

“The Headmaster’s here?”

“Yes, he’s right there talking to Poppy. I’ll see you later, thanks again for the book.” said Lupin and turned to leave.

“Close the door behind you.” called Severus. He took a few deep breaths and tried to calm his nerves. He checked his occlumency shields and braced himself as someone knocked on the door.

“Come in.” he said a moment later.

“Good morning, Severus.”

“Headmaster.”

"I'm glad to see you're doing better, my boy. How are you feeling?" asked Albus and settled himself in a chair.

"As good as can be expected."

"We were all relieved to hear you have woken up. Poppy tells me you're going to need some rest before you get back to your old self, though."

"She tells me the same."

"Professor Sinistra has agreed to take over your Head of House duties, but we need to do something about your teaching duties. At this point the ideal solution would be to get a substitute Professor to cover your classes, but I'm afraid I haven't been able to find a suitable candidate on short notice. Can you recommend someone?" asked Albus hopefully.

"No one who's competent enough to handle my classes is going to be available on short notice." answered Severus with a huff. "The only one I can think of is Slughorn and I'm guessing you've already asked him. Also, the Ministry and St. Mungo's have some good brewers, you can try and see if they can spare one."

"I already have. They're doing a research at St. Mungo's and they have borrowed some help from the Ministry. And Horace didn't answer my owl."

Severus didn't say anything, mostly out of resentment. He had to be out there doing research like the rest of his colleagues instead of being stuck here teaching ungrateful lazy brats.

"From what I know of your teaching methods I'm going to assume this far into the term you've already covered the basics. Perhaps the other Professors could continue covering your class with assigned reading." proposed the Headmaster, suddenly looking as tired as Severus felt.

"As if the students are going to use their time to actually read." snorted Severus, then sighed. "I'll write down a list of assignments they should do and correct those when I'm feeling better. I might arrange a few classes for my OWLs and NEWTs, I can't leave them to fend for themselves this close to the exams."

"Sometimes I forget why the students always do well in potions." said Albus, looking pleased with himself.

"Old age makes people forgetful."

"Quite right." said Albus, his blue eyes twinkling. "I almost forgot about the wolfsbane potion."

"Why don't I believe you?" asked Severus in irritation.

"If it was anything else, anything that I could trust to someone else I would have. Please Severus, I need you to continue brewing the potion for Remus.”

Severus closed his eyes for a second. Albus Dumbledore always got what he wanted, that’s what made him Albus Dumbledore. “I’ll brew the potion, but I’m not going to chase after him to make sure he drinks it anymore.” he said in defeat.

“Trust me, in a few days you’d be glad you have something to brew.” said Albus in a fatherly tone.

“I’ve already said I’ll do it!” snapped Severus.

The old man looked hurt but smiled warmly at him. “Madam Pomfrey says, you can probably go to your rooms tomorrow. I’ll ask the house elves to make sure you have everything you need. I’ll let you rest now.” he said and patted his knee before leaving.

Severus watched him go, his skin tingling from the touch. He wondered how affectionate Albus would be towards him once he found out the dark mark was gone.


	6. The Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus discovers his true nature.

Severus held the knife tightly in his small hand as he cut the newt eyes in half. He would rather use both hands but he knew his mother wouldn't approve. He loved brewing. It was the only time he got to spend time with his mother, with her focusing all of her attention on him. Truth be told, it was kind of unnerving to have her breath down his neck and watch his every move, seeing all of his mistake. All the same he loved it. They did this every month without exception. It didn't matter if one of them was sick, mom always had some pepperup handy and if his dad was being mean, mom would find a way to get rid of him.

Today, dad had a headache from drinking all night and had been yelling at them since early in the morning even though they hadn't done anything. Mother used her wand to put him back to sleep so that they could have some peace for brewing. Severus wandered why she didn't do that all the time. His dad wasn't nice and always found some fault with what they did. Sometimes Severus cried when he started yelling. He hated the yelling. It made the world shrink around him and made all the good things lose their appeal. His mother didn't like it either, she'd yell back so that dad would stop picking on him but then it would get worse with both his parents angry.

That thought made Severus lose focus for a second and the blade slipped, cutting his finger. He bit his lip, trying very hard not to cry. "I cut my hand!" he whined.

"I see that." mom murmured to herself and moved away.

Severus could hear her taking things from the medicine cabinet. She was back a second later and took his hand. He couldn't see anything with his eyes full of tears but he recognized the smell of the healing potion and pulled his hand away.

"Severus!"

"That's going to make it hurt more."

"It'll also heal the cut. You know that's the only potion I have." said his mother.

"Can't you just … heal it yourself? Like I used to do for you?" he asked desperately, knowing he would lose the argument.

"I can't, honey. I've told you before, only little kids can heal people like that. That's why you can't do that anymore now that you're all grown up." said his mother gently but firmly and took his hand again.

Severus sighed to himself and squeezed his eyes shut as his mother poured the potion on his finger and wrapped it for him.

"Do you think you can work with your hand?" she asked.

Severus looked down at his finger. It still hurt plenty but mother always said he had to be tough so he nodded and picked up his knife again. The pain somehow got better when he saw her satisfied look.

………………………

Severus woke up feeling disoriented. He was in his own bedroom but somehow everything looked out of place, HE was out of place. Everything felt wrong. His magic … his magic had changed. It had finally happened, he had changed into what he was supposed to be. Feeling lightheaded Severus sat up and looked down at his hands. They were the same as always, long fingered and rough from work. He took off his nightshirt and pulled away his duvet, watching everything critically, tracing everything with his hands. It was all there and there were no additions, no scales, no fur and no wings. He was human all over … well, except for his ears.

Getting frustrated, Severus got out of bed and stood next to his closet in front of the mirror. He checked his face and turned around to have a look at his back when he saw it. There was a hint of something in his hair. Severus faced the mirror again to get a better look. A strand of his hair had turned purple, right in the front. Severus blinked at this unexpected discovery. The strand was bright and shiny, standing out next to the black locks.

He was half elf! Elves were the only creatures that had blue in their coloring. Their pale skin had a hint of blue in it and their hair varied from light blue to deep purple. It was the one possibility that he hadn’t considered. Elves were wary of humans, specially the magical kind and hid themselves from them. They had their own kind of magic but they couldn’t really defend themselves against wizards.

So, his mother hadn’t lied to him after all; she told him the potion was supposed to keep him strong. He really did need that potion. Only if he knew how he had managed to ruin it. He could figure it out, he was certain of it. While he was going through withdrawal he hadn’t been able to focus, but now he was better. 

Determined, Severus put a glamour charm on his hair and ears and got ready for the day. His mind kept working while he went through the motions, as he took a shower and dressed, as he ordered his breakfast and as he ate. He kept going through all the possible scenarios, coming up with ways he could fix the problem.

Severus got to his lab and started pulling the ingredients out of the shelves. He had to start the wolfsbane potion. He was not happy about brewing the potion but he loved doing it. It was a precise brew, a true testament to the delicacy of the art. Which meant he had to give it his full attention and that’s what he did for the next two hours until the base was done. He let the potion sit and adjusted the heat before he allowed his mind to wander again and started to clean up his working area. The wolfsbane took almost the entire month to brew. It had seven stages and between those stages he had to leave the potion … Severus cut his finger with the knife he was cleaning. The wolfsbane! That was it. The aconite released fumes while brewing. This year whenever he had been brewing the cloaking potion, there had been aconite fumes in the lab. The potion had become less effective in result and he had slowly gone through detoxing. 

Severus berated himself for not figuring it out sooner. The answer had been right in front of him the whole time. He wrapped his wounded finger in a clean cloth and frowned. He couldn’t really do anything about that. He did most of the school’s brewing in his office, his personal lab was reserved for his own potion and other brews that needed extensive care like wolfsbane. He couldn’t leave the wolfsbane potion anywhere else or it could get ruined and he couldn’t brew the cloaking potion anywhere but here or someone might find out about it. He could think of three nosy students that had no regard for the rules or other people’s privacy. He looked around, his space was limited, too small to create two separate brewing areas.

There was no way around it, he had to wait for the school year to come to a close before he could get back on his potion. On the bright side, there wasn’t much time left and he was off duty for the most part. Severus looked down at his hand and suddenly remembered something. He remembered how he had cut his finger when he was a kid. He remembered what his mother had said about him being able to heal when he was smaller. 

He HAD been able to heal. When he was little, his mother got sick whenever she had a bad fight with his dad. Severus would wait until his dad left for work, so that he could climb into bed with his mom. He would hug her until she didn’t hurt anymore.

Severus hesitated for a moment, not sure how to go about it, but then wrapped his other hand around the cut and closed his eyes. At first nothing happened so he focused harder and felt warmth spread through him. The sensation was gone as quickly as it had come. Severus studied his finger. The cut has closed but it hadn’t healed completely. It made sense for him not to be able to use his powers the way he should, he had suppressed them for too long. 

Not all elves were able to heal, it was considered a gift. The thought brought a smile to Severus’ lips. He had been afraid of finding out what he was. Everyone saw him as a monster and now he knew he wasn’t one, he was a healer. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so terrible for him to wait a couple of months before taking the cloaking potion again.


	7. The Grim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus realizes what it means to be an elf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Thank you all for reading and leaving kudos :D
> 
> This chapter is rather short. It's been a very busy week and I really couldn't do more. I hope you guys like it. Please let me know what you think. And if you have any thoughts or suggestions you know where to find me.

The weather was finally getting warmer and the air smelled of spring. Severus wanted more than anything to go outside and walk deep into the forest.

The trees were reaching out to him, inviting him to join in and celebrate the new life blooming in the forest. They begged for his magic to help them grow. He had been feeling the pull all week while he was tending to the wolfsbane, teaching makeup classes for his OWLs and NEWTs and grading their homework.

Grading homework was one of the most depressing tasks in Severus' opinion. It was especially agonizing to go through the rubbish they had turned in now that he knew he was so welcome elsewhere.

He had felt the pull before. As a boy he spent most of his time in the woods or in the park because of the pull. He hadn't known what it was then, but nature used to make him feel safe. He had ran to the woods when father hit his mom and mom wouldn't let him see. He hid between the bushes in the park after school, waiting for all the bullies to leave before he could go home. He had even met Lily that way.

The pull of his neighborhood greens had been nothing compared to the pull of the magical plants in Hogwarts and the forbidden forest, though. Working at the Hogwarts greenhouses had soon become Severus' favorite pass time. It made it hurt a little less when Lily blew him off or when the marauders humiliated him in front of everyone.

But his mother made him give it all up. She had been livid when she got that blasted letter from Professor Sprout, telling her about his exceptional talent and how they should encourage him and maybe let him keep a few magical plants at home during the summer. Eileen told him he had to choose one, her or the plants and of course he had picked her. There was nothing in the world he loved more than his mother and the thought that she might abandon him if he didn't act normal absolutely terrified him. So, he had stopped listening to the plants and they had stopped talking to him.

Now the pull was back, stronger than ever and it was driving Severus mad.

It couldn't hurt, could it? What was the worst thing that could happen if he went outside? Someone could see him, that's what. He needed an excuse then.

Decision made, Severus left the stack of homework and picked up the kit he kept handy for gathering ingredients before pulling his cloak over his shoulder and heading to the forest.

His heart was hammering against his chest in anticipation as he opened the entrance door and climbed down the few steps. At the sight of the forest Severus balled his hands into fists to keep them from shaking and quickened his pace. When he finally reached the aged trees, his knees buckled underneath him and he collapsed. The weeds broke down his fall, barely letting him feel his body connecting with the ground. Severus rolled over unto his back and spread his arms and legs, the way he used to when he was a kid. He breathed the earthy sent of the forest and closed his eyes as he listened to the symphony of the nature, sinking deeper and deeper into serenity.

His peace was short lived however. All of the sudden something large and heavy landed on his chest. Severus gasped as the wind got knocked out of his lungs under the crushing weight and instinctively reached for his wand. He was pointing his wand at the intruder before he managed to catch his breath and stared up at the black creature on top of him. A pair of mad blue eyes stared back and Severus waved his wand to cast a stinging curse. He didn't finish the movement though. He just couldn't cast the spell knowing it would hurt the beast. It was ridiculous. Stinging curses didn't do any actual damage, not to something this large anyway. He had casted this spell more times that he could remember, yet he was incapable of casting it now. He racked his brain to think of something else he could cast but he his mind didn’t supply anything that wouldn't hurt his attacker.

Severus laid there, helpless and truly terrified. He stared at the animal’s sharp teeth, imagining the sort of damage they could do. He stayed like that for what felt like hours getting ready to die, but then the animal moved off of him. It was a dog, an enormous black dog. It stood there staring at him with something in his eyes that Severus couldn’t comprehend and then it just left.


	8. The Lawyer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus misses the quidditch final.

Veal chops used to be Severus’ favorite, now he couldn’t bring himself to take a bite. He had been on a strict diet for the past few weeks. Poppy had even talked to the house elves to make sure he stuck to her instructions; which meant no red meat. Today, he was finally free to eat whatever he wanted and he had requested his favorite dish.

Severus vanished the veal with a wave of his wand and busied himself with the vegetable and potatoes. The dog incident the night before had utterly rattled him. He hated feeling helpless like that. He had to get back on his potion, there was no way around it. 

Once he was done with his lunch, Severus went into his bedroom and stood in front of the mirror. His hair had grown past his shoulders. He wasn’t used to that. The potion had slowed down his hair growth for as long as he could remember. His mother never let him cut his hair when he was a kid, afraid that someone might notice. The potion also made his hair oily and gave his skin an unhealthy look. People had been making fun of him because of that his whole life. Sure, he had been no more concerned with hygiene than any normal teenage boy at school but as an adult he had done everything he could to remedy that. He now wore tailored robes and walked and spoke with confidence, yet he hadn’t been able to fix his hair.

Severus ran his fingers over his few purple locks. He had never considered himself remotely attractive but he liked how his hair looked now. His nose was as large as ever, knowing it came from his elf side made him feel proud of it though. He casted the usual glamour with a sigh. He would be back to normal soon. 

He wandered if he’d still be able to hear the plants once he started taking his potion again as he put on his teaching robes and made his way to his office. 

He could hear the students cheering outside. The Gryffindor-Slytherin match was about to start and it was the last game of the season. Like usual the two other Houses had sided with Gryffindor and his snakes were awfully on edge. They had done well so far and were two hundred points ahead but one could never say when it came to Potter, especially now that he was riding a world class broom. The whole affair was ridiculous. It was always the case with that boy, he was treated like he was above anyone else.

Severus was not attending the game. He always supported his team even though he didn’t particularly care for quidditch, but today he had more important things to tend to. He sat in his office and graded the last of the student’s homework while he waited.

Forty minutes later the fireplace chimed, announcing the arrival of his guest. Severus checked his glamour before letting them in. "Mrs. Davies." he greeted.

"Professor, it's good to see you again." said the blond girl. She hadn't changed that much but it appeared she had overcome her schoolgirl shyness.

"Likewise. Please come in and have seat."

"I heard you've been ill. I hope everything's alright." commented the young lawyer as she sat herself by the fire.

Severus gave her a crooked smile as he settled in the other chair. "I assure you, I didn't ask you here to make arrangements for my death." he said.

She smile back. "That's a relief. It is part of my Job but I never enjoy doing it. Whatever it is must be important since you're missing the quidditch final against Gryffindor. I don't recall you ever missing a game when I was your student."

"Indeed. It concerns a delicate subject and therefore I'm going to ask for your full discretion."

"Of course." murmured Mrs. Davies and waved her wand, taking a vow.

Severus paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "My health issues made me think about life rather than death. I got arrested twelve years ago under the charge of associating with the Death Eaters, but my case never went to trial. Albus Dumbledore used his influence in wizengamot to convince the department of magical law enforcement to drop the charges."

"Why would he do that?" she asked, her interest obviously picked.

"The last year of the war I acted as a spy for the light." answered Severus, then shifted in his chair. "If I had gone to trial then and had been declared not guilty, the case would be closed for good. But now … I need to know where I stand and if I could be accused of the same charges." he continued, trying to mask his frustration.

Mrs. Davies nodded in understanding. "From the way you've arrange our meeting, I'm assuming you don't want to have Professor Dumbledore involved. As your lawyer I must advise you to ask for his help. Having him on your side would give you a big advantage and make things much easier."

Severus shook his head. It was highly unlikely that Dumbledore would send him to Azkaban when he found out the dark mark was gone but he wouldn't hear Severus out and help him resolve this either, he would dismiss him like he always did. The old man never listened to him.

Mrs. Davies sighed. "Very well. I'll do what I can." she said.

Severus narrowed his eyes. "That's not good enough." he snapped then pulled a purse full of coins out of his robe's pocket, putting it on the table between them. "I want you to do what it takes. I'm not a wealthy man madam but I'm willing to pay what is necessary. There's two thousand galleons in this bag. I trust you'll know where to spend it."

The young lawyer stared at him for a few minutes then nodded. "I won't let you down Professor." she said finally and pocketed the money. “I’d better leave. I’ll owl you when there’s something to report.” she added and raised to her feet.

“Thank you.” murmured Severus. He was reaching for the floo powder when someone knocked. “One moment.” he called and held the powder to his lawyer, thanking Merlin that he had remembered to lock the door.

Mrs. Davies smiled at him politely and flooed out.

Severus waited until the fire settle down before opening the door with a wave of his wand. “Lupin. What are you doing here?” he asked in irritation.  
  
“I could ask you the same thing. I thought Heads of Houses always supported their team.” said the insufferable man.

“I don’t feel the need to explain myself to you.” Severus shot back and settled behind his desk. 

“Gryffindor won the game by the way and the cup. Harry …”

“What makes you think I want to hear this?” snapped Severus, narrowing his eyes.

Lupin sighed in exasperation. “Look, I just came over to make sure you were alright.”

“Never better. Now, if you’ll be so kind to let me get back to my work.”

“Correcting homework? I could help you with that.” offered Lupin, giving him one of his smiles.

Severus snorted. “As much as I’d like to dump this unpleasant task on someone else, I need to do this myself. The exams start next week and the students need to learn their mistakes.” he said and picked up his quill, ignoring the other man.

Lupin was quiet for a moment and Severus could feel the weight of his gaze. “Oh, I almost forgot. I’ve brought your book.” said the man suddenly.

“What book?”

“The Danielle Steel book. It was quite good, you should really read it. I’ll just leave it here.” responded the defense Professor casually and put the book on the small table by the fireplace. “I see you’ve done some redecorating. Are you expecting company?” he continued, pointing to the wingback chairs he had put there.

Severus lower his quill and looked the man directly in the eyes. “If you have something to say Lupin, say it.” he hissed.

“Very well. Harry saw you going into the forest last night.” said Lupin, meeting his eyes.

“Did he? I went out to gather some fungi under the moonlight. What was the boy doing out of bed at that hour?”

“He wasn’t out of bed, actually. Well, technically he was but he didn’t leave his dorm. He was getting a glass of water when he saw you from the tower’s window.”

“What of it?”

“He said you were attacked by a large black dog. I need to know what happened.”

“Nothing happen, Lupin. I threw a stinging curse at the mutt and it left me alone. Why do you care? Is that dog a friend of yours?” he sneered. 

Lupin paled a bit but didn’t budge. “Harry said you laid there for some time before you stood and went back to the castle. When you didn’t show up to the game, he got worried and after the game he asked me to check up on you. He was here when you had your seizure in this office, you know.”

“What do you want to hear Lupin? That I am too weak to handle a dog or attend a quidditch game?”

“Like I said, I was trying to make sure you were alright.”

“I’m fine. I’ll feel better when I’m done grading these essays and I can rest.” he bit out and started marking again.

The defense Professor didn’t stick around for much long. When Severus was sure he was gone, he slumped in his chair and put his face in his hands. It was just his luck that Potter would see him in his weakened state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" chapter 15, Harry is nervous about the quidditch final and wakes up from a nightmare in the middle of the night. He sees Crookshanks and Padfoot talking in the forest from the window.


	9. The Shrieking Shack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lupin doesn't show up to take his last dose of wolfsbane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter, I have borrowed a few lines from the book "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban", chapters 17 to 20.
> 
> I hope you like it :D

Severus sat in his office, getting more irritated by the minute. He hadn’t been able to brew his own potion because of the damn wolfsbane. He had worked on it for almost a month while recovering from his episode and the ungrateful irresponsible werewolf hadn't even bothered to show up and collect the last dose of his potion. This was on Albus as much as the wolf. It was not his responsibility. He had told Albus he wouldn’t go running after Lupin to make sure he took his potion anymore. The wolfsbane was ready, his work was done … yet, he know he wasn't able to let it go. If Lupin didn’t take his potion tonight, there would be a bloodthirsty werewolf running about the school and he couldn't allow that.

With no small amount of resentment, Severus rose to his feet and picked up the steaming goblet. He made his way to the defense Professor's office. The door was ajar and there was no evidence of Lupin in sight. "Fucking unbelievable." he muttered under his breath and pushed the door all the way open. There were books and parchment scattered on every surface but one of them caught Severus' eye for some reason. Putting the goblet on the mantel, he stepped closer to Lupin's desk to get a better look. It was the parchment Potter had had with him the day of the Hogsmeade visit, but it was not blank anymore. It took a moment for Severus to realize he was looking at the map of Hogwarts and that the map identified each person and their location. The dot labeled Remus Lupin was at the shrieking shack, Potter and his friends were also there … and Sirius Black.

He broke into a run, praying he could get there on time. He had known all along Lupin was up to something. He had told Albus as much. For the first time, he wasn't glad to have proven the old man wrong.

Once he got to the whomping willow, Severus raised his wand to push the knot on the trunk but changed his mind. He somehow knew the tree wouldn’t like that. After a moment of hesitation he gingerly took a couple of steps forward. The tree was not immobilized but it wasn’t trying to hit him. Heartened, Severus quickened his pace. He had almost reached the tunnel’s entrance when his foot hit something soft. As he looked down, he saw a rather curious looking robe and picked it up. One of his hands disappeared under the fabric. It was an invisibility cloak! It was Potter’s, he was sure of it. That must be how the boy managed to sneak about.

Severus draped the cloak over himself and after making sure he was invisible got into the tunnel. Walking into the dank passage made his school time memories resurface. He pushed them down, he couldn’t afford to get distracted. He was going against both Lupin and Black and there were three children involved. He stood at the door to shrieking shack and tried to listen. He could hear Lupin talking. He couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, but the man seemed calm enough. So far so good, he thought to himself and opened the door. He stepped around Lupin, who paused in his rambling and came to check the door, and took in the situation. Potter and Granger were injured but it wasn’t serious. Weasley on the other hand didn’t look good; he had a badly broken leg and was obviously in pain. Black was standing there glaring at the boy’s chest but he was unarmed and so was Lupin.

Deciding to get a better idea of what Lupin and Black were up to before making a move, Severus stood there silently and listened as the werewolf drone on about his school days and how he and his friends had endangered everyone time and time again. He almost snorted when the man called Black and Potter “the cleverest students in the school” and when he said Severus hated Potter because he was “jealous of James's talent on the Quidditch field” and told them the marauders’ version of what had happened all those years ago here, he had enough. 

"So that's why Snape doesn't like you," said Potter slowly, "because he thought you were in on the joke?"

"That's right," he sneered and pulled off the Invisibility Cloak, his wand pointing directly at Lupin.

Granger screamed. Black leapt to his feet. The others looked equally shocked.

"I found this at the base of the Whomping Willow," said Severus, throwing the cloak aside, careful to keep this wand pointing directly at Lupin's chest. "Very useful, Potter, I thank you. You're wondering, perhaps, how I knew you were here? I've just been to your office, Lupin. You forgot to take your potion tonight, so I took a gobletful along. And very lucky I did...lucky for me, I mean. Lying on your desk was a certain map. One glance at it told me all I needed to know."

"Severus --" Lupin began, but Severus overrode him. He had listened to the werewolf’s nonsense enough for one night.

"I've told the Headmaster again and again that you're helping your old friend Black into the castle, Lupin, and here's the proof. Not even I dreamed you would have the nerve to use this old place as your hideout --"

"Severus, you're making a mistake," said Lupin urgently. "You haven't heard everything -- I can explain -- Sirius is not here to kill Harry --"

"Two more for Azkaban tonight," said Severus. “I shall be interested to see how Dumbledore takes this...He was quite convinced you were harmless, you know, Lupin...a tame werewolf --"

"You fool," said Lupin softly. "Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?"

Severus’ wand arm shook. He wanted to gag and bind the damn wolf, but he couldn’t. It would make Lupin fall and he knew from experience that the snakelike cords would cut into the man’s arms.

"Perhaps you’re right.” he said silkily. "There’s no reason to send him back to Azkaban. All I have to do is call the Dementors once we get out of the Willow. They'll be very pleased to see you, Black...pleased enough to give you a little kiss, I daresay...I --"

“We both know you’re not going to do shit!” taunted Black.

Severus turned his attention to the sneering man. He opened his mouth to retort, but closed it again when his eyes met the Black’s mad blue ones. Lupin had said his friends had been animagi. Black was the giant Black dog and he knew Severus’ secret. 

The next second, Black started toward him. Severus pointed his wand straight between the man’s eyes but he didn’t stop. Black pushed him hard. Severus hit the wall, his head receiving the worse of the blow, and he fell to the floor.

He couldn’t move and his vision became bleary. 

“What did you do, Sirius?!” he heard Lupin’s panicked voice through the pounding in his ear. “You shouldn’t have done that. He’s not well.” the man checked his pulse and then moved away.

Severus closed his eyes. He didn’t know how long he lay there. He could hear them talking but couldn’t quite make out the words, something about Pettigrew and a rat. 

“No, we can’t levitate him. I told you he’s not well. You take Peter, I'll be right behind you." came Lupin’s voice again and next thing he knew, someone was gathering him in their arms. 

He was carried all the way through the tunnel. Once the cool night air hit his face, he knew they were outside. Suddenly, Lupin stopped and began to shake, then dropped him to the ground.

"He didn't take his potion tonight! He's not safe!" 

“-- RUN!"

Severus heard a snarling noise. Lupin had transformed. He needed to get away. Focusing on his head wound, he summoned what little strength he had and tried to heal it. The effort wasn't enough to heal him completely but it enabled him to open his eyes and sit up. The first thing he noticed was the fact that his wand was missing. He cursed and turned his attention to the werewolf. His heart filled with the same sense of dread as the first time he had encountered the creature. He could see the others from the corner of his eyes. They were far enough, which meant the children were safe for now.

The wolf growled, looking around with feral yellow eyes. He bared his teeth when he spotted Severus and got ready to leap.

"Help me!" Severus asked the willow desperately. He doubted he would have been able to run even if his body was cooperating. It was no use. He had tried running the last time and the werewolf had been much faster than him. If Potter had shown up a second too later, the wolf would have gotten to him. Much like he was about to now.

The werewolf landed on him and opened his mouth, going straight for his throat. Severus closed eyes, readying himself for the pain. But it never came. The werewolf stopped mid motion, distracted by the willow.

The large tree was moving. It bent and hit the werewolf full force with a thick branch.

The wolf went flying in the air and landed a few feet away. He growled dangerously at the tree. The willow shook its branches threateningly at him and made him flee.

"Thank you." Severus rasped and slowly rose to his feet. He was shaking all over and his hair was soaked with blood and sweat. The werewolf couldn't have gone far. He might come back for him or get to the children.

Severus narrowed his eyes as he surveyed the grounds. Black had Potter and his friends and they were nowhere to be seen. "Where are the children?" he asked out-loud.

The trees at the edge of the forest started shaking and twisting their leaves, signaling him to somewhere near the lake.

Severus followed their direction and sure enough found them, surrounded by dementors. 'I need my wand.' he thought to himself. There was no way he could fight off the dementors without a wand.

 

"Nooo," he moaned. "Nooo... please...."

"Nooo," moaned Black. “Nooo… please…”

The marauder was crouched on all fours, his hands over his head. He seemed to be chained to Weasley and a man he didn't recognize. Potter was trying to conjure a patronus with little success.

Perhaps if he stepped closer he could deter the dementors' attention away from the children. There were too many dementors for that to work, but he had to try.

He was about to put his plan into action when something tapped at his leg. Frowning, Severus looked down. His wand was lying there between the weeds. The weeds looked bouncy as if proud of themselves to have managed to retrieve the precious object.

Swaying with relief or perhaps blood loss, Severus picked up his wand and ran forward. "Expecto patronum!" he chanted.

A brilliant silvery doe emerged from the tip of his dark wand and charged forward. It chased the dementors away, then came back and circled them a few times for good measure before disappearing.

Potter and Granger were staring at him open mouthed. They didn't look any more worse for wear than before, so Severus ignored them and turned to Black. 

"Give me a reason," he whispered. "Give me a reason to do it, and I swear I will."

Black didn't say anything for a moment, he looked pretty shaken up. “Where is Remus?” he asked.

“Somewhere in the forest. Howling and chasing rabbits, I presume.” Severus sneered, then turned to the short stocky man who was chained to Black and Weasley on each side.

"Who are you?" Severus asked the strange man.

"No one. I live in the village. He came out of nowhere and took me. Please let me go!" whined the man, turning away from him as if to hide his face. He had a large bald patch on top of his head.

"It's Pettigrew, Professor! He was the one that betrayed Harry's parents. He was hiding as Ron's rat. We should …"

"I don't remember asking you, Miss Granger." he snapped more out of habit than anything else. The man DID looked awfully like Pettigrew, with his watery eyes and pointed nose. It was obvious he had something to hide in any case.

"Why don't you listen?! He's the murderer. He's the one who has to go to Azkaban. Black is innocent." Potter chimed in.

"Enough!" Severus hissed at the boy. He looked between Black and the stocky man for a moment, weighing his options. "I'm taking both of you to Dumbledore. He can deal with you himself." he told them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In canon, Pettigrew is chained between Remus and Ron, to prevent him from running, and Sirius is levitating Severus. When Remus transforms and Moony frees himself from the chains, Pettigrew stuns Ron and transforms into a rat and that's how he escapes.
> 
> Also, in canon shrieking shack is not part of the map and Severus only sees Remus going down the tunnel.


	10. Showing True Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus delivers Black and Pettigrew to Dumbledore.

At Severus’ announcement, something resembling relief took over Black's features. The other man on the other hand seemed more panicked than before.

"Please, let me go! I didn't do anything. You have to believe me." he pleaded.

Severus put a silencing charm on him, then conjured a stretcher and turned to Weasley.

"You can't remove the chains.” said Weasley, edging away. “We tried that when Professor Lupin turned into a wolf and he almost ran." 

“He can turn into a rat, Professor. We can’t let him transform.” added Granger.

Severus frowned. He knew of a spell that would prevent one from shapeshifting. It was dark magic but it didn’t cause physical pain. He casted the spell on both Black and the rat man. He then tied them securely together with silken robes, careful not to bind them too tight. “You can try to transform if you want, it’s not going to happen.” he stated before removing the chains.

“Why did you bind Black? We told you he’s innocent.” snapped Potter.

“He’s anything but. Now, help Weasley get on that stretcher.” 

“It’s alright, Harry. He’s doing exactly what we want.” said Black.

Potter nodded and moved to help his red headed friend. 

Severus pursed his lips in annoyance. “Move!” he barked at Black once Potter was done.

Black glared at him but complied, making his companion stand as well and move forward.

Severus levitated the stretcher, floating it to his left away from Black and the short man. “You two, stand next to Weasley.” he told Potter and Granger. “Don’t stop for any reason. If anything happens, you run to the castle. Now, get moving. There’s a werewolf on the loose and you won’t want him to catch up with us.” he continued firmly. 

Potter opened his mouth to say something but Granger pulled him away. “Yes, sir.” she murmured.

They all walked in silence. Severus tried to stay near the trees that were scattered on the school grounds in case he needed their assistance but their walk turned out quite uneventful. Black was mostly dragging the man bound to him along. Potter kept glancing at Black as if to make sure he was still there and Granger stayed close to Weasley.

Once they were inside the stone walls of Hogwarts, Severus put Weasley down. “Go to the Hospital wing and find Madam Pomfrey.” he told the children.

“I’m not leaving my godfather.”

“Don’t talk back to me, Potter! You’re in enough trouble as it is.”

“Go on, Harry. You’re hurt.” said Black.

“But…”

“We’re in the castle. I’m safe here and if anyone can help me, it’s Dumbledore. I’ll come see you later, I promise.”

“How very touching.” Severus whispered to himself and watched the trio move away. He waited a few minutes to make sure they were gone before signaling Black to continue down the corridor.

“You know, that was a charming patronus you conjured.” said the dark haired man conversationally.

Severus’ heart skipped a bit. Albus was the only one that knew about his feelings toward Lily. He couldn’t bear it if one of his childhood tormenters found out.

“Patronus is a protector. It is supposed to defend the caster …”

“I thank you for the defense lesson, Black but I can assure you I’m quite familiar with the concept.”

“…a dog bites, a stag has antlers, a horse can hit you with their hooves, a weasel has sharp teeth, even a rabbit bites and scratches … but a doe? It only knows how to run.”

“My patronus was good enough to save your sorry ass from the dementors!” snapped Severus, truly angry now.

“You did save me, didn’t you? Back there in the shack, you threatened to have the dementors give me the kiss but instead you saved me from them.”

“I was saving my students, you just got lucky.”

“I know you, Snape. I know what a vicious little thing you’ve always been. There’s something wrong with you. You…”

Severus waved his wand and casted a silencing charm on Black, taking pleasure in cutting him off. “That’s an interesting thought, Black. You can ponder on that all you want once you’re back in your cozy cell in Azkaban where you belong.” he sneered. 

The look that Black sent him was positively murderous but the man continued to move forward.

“Sherbet Lemon.” whispered Severus once they reached the gargoyle standing guard to the Headmaster’s office.

As the gargoyle moved away, Black dragged the short man along to the spiral staircase and Severus followed.

“Severus! You’ve found Black.” exclaimed Albus when they entered the office. “… Is that Peter Petttigrew?” 

“It looks like it, but I don’t know for sure.” answered Severus and told the Headmaster the short version of the events.

“And the children?”

“I sent them to the infirmary. I certainly hope that’s where they ended up.”

“Perhaps you should join them. I can take it from here, my boy.”

“Headmaster, I …”

“Don’t argue with me, Severus. Head wounds can be quite serious, especially for someone like you who’s still recovering.” scolded Albus.

“Very well.” he said, recognizing the order in the old man’s tone. 

…………………………………

Remus came to it slowly. Everything felt numb and he could tell he was under a pain potion. He also recognized the smell of disinfectant. He had managed to stay clear of the Infirmary all year. The wolfsbane had made the transformation rather easy. He knew he had taken his potion all week … except for last night. He had been about to go to Severus' office to take his potion and decided to check the map one last time. And that's when he had seen it; Sirius and Peter running on the grounds with Harry and his friends.

Remus sat up. The motion sent waves of pain down his right arm and across his chest. He gritted his teeth through the pain and opened the bed curtains.

A few feet away, sat his old friend talking quietly to Harry.

"Sirius!" he breathed. His voice laced with joy and sorrow.

Sirius got up and walked over to his side, grinning. "About time you woke up, Moony." he said cheerfully.

"What happened … Peter…"

"He's in custody. Dumbledore took care of everything. The minister signed my Pardon last night or early this morning, I guess. It's going to be in today's papers. I'm a free man."

Remus closed his eyes in relief. "It never should have happened. I'm so sorry, Sirius."

"None of it was your fault, Remus. I don't blame you."

They were both quiet for a few minutes. "Who brought me in?" asked Remus, curiously.

"Dumbledore did. You had a nasty gash on your chest and lost a lot of blood. Do you remember what happened?"

"I was getting out of the tunnel with Snape when … Merlin! He was right there when I transformed and he was unconscious. Where is he? What happened?"

"He's fine. You didn't bite him. You didn't bite anyone." Sirius reassured him. "I don't know what happened exactly. I was chained to Peter and removed it so that I could transform and get you away from the others. But then Peter tried to run. I caught up to him before he could turn to Wormtail and refastened the chains. That's when the dementors showed up." Sirius shuddered, paling.

"Dementors?"

"Yeah. There were too many of them. I couldn't fight them. I thought I was going to die, but then Snape casted a patronus and they were gone."

"How did he cast the spell? I thought you had his wand."

"I did. It fell out of my hand when the dementors came. He must have found it."

"How did he get away from Moony?" he asked, frowning.

Sirius shrugged. "We didn't get to chat. He took Peter and I to the Headmaster's office and then Dumbledore told him to go to the hospital." he explained, his thoughts seemed to be elsewhere.

"Are you sure he's alright?"

"What?"

"Severus. Is he alright?"

"Don't know. You could ask Pomfrey." said Sirius pointing with his head to the mediwitch who was approaching them.

“Good morning, Professor. How are you feeling?” she asked as she ran her wand over him.

“A little tired but fine.” answered Remus and sat up straighter. “How is Severus?”

“He’s doing better. I healed his wound last night but kept him here for observation.”

“Where is he now?” asked Remus, looking around. He could see Ron, Harry and Hermione on various beds but there was no sign of the potions Professor.

“He’s in the private room. I’ve already discharged him, he’ll be out in a few minutes.” said Pomfrey with a smile and continued to work on him.

Remus felt the tension leave his body. Sirius was free and Severus was alright. He didn’t know when he had started to care about Severus, perhaps it was the guilt he had felt at his own indifference when the man had his seizure or it could be the fact that he had gotten awfully close to biting him in his wolf form. Either way he was relieved.

“What the …” murmured Madam Pomfrey as they heard a commotion outside the door. A moment later the door burst open and half a dozen people barged in, some of them holding large cameras.

They rushed over to where Sirius was standing and started shouting questions at him all at once and taking pictures.

“Get out of my infirmary right now!” bellowed the mediwitch. “You’re disturbing my patients. They need their rest.” she waved her wand when they ignore her and the shouting stopped. Remus’ eyebrows shot up when he saw that their lips had been glued together.

Suddenly, a door creaked open behind him and the sound of boots hitting the stone floor filled the now quiet room. The reporters’ looks of annoyance turned to shock and the footsteps stopped. Remus turned around to see what was going on.

Severus was standing there. There was a shot of bright purple between his black locks and the tips of his ears were poking out.

“You have elf blood!” whispered Sirius in awe. 

Everyone heard him however and the reporters started taking photos in a furious paste.

Severus’ eyes widened in horror. He turned on his heels and went back into the room he had just come out of, slamming the door shut.


	11. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus tells Albus about the dark mark.

Severus put the strongest locking charm he knew on the door. He stood there frozen as he tried to process what had just happened. He could hear people arguing. He recognized Poppy and Lupin's voices, telling the reporters they needed to leave. A couple of them tried to get passed his charm without success. The next moment Albus was there. He ordered the reporters to his office and everything quieted down.

Severus sat on the lone bed in the corner, resting his head against the wall. Everyone knew. His pictures were going to be in every paper in the Wizarding Britain. With all that had happened the night before he had forgotten to recast his glamour. It had held until that morning but had faded at the wrong time. Ten more minutes and he would have been in the dungeons when it happened. He didn't know how he was ever going to leave that room and face all those people; the teachers, the students, the parents …

He was going to get back on his potion and everything will be fine, he told himself. But he knew it wasn't true. Now that the others knew of his weakness, things would never be the same. He sat there for what felt like hours until someone knocked on the door.

"Severus? … Severus, please open the door. I'm the only one here."

Severus hesitated for a few seconds but waved his wand with a sigh and canceled the locking charm.

Albus came in, closing the door behind him. "Purple happens to be my favorite color." he said with a kind smile. "I must admit, it looks far better on you."

"Don't get used to it. And yes, purple looks gruesome on you. Same goes for yellow, baby blue and all the other ridiculous colors you tend to wear."

Albus chuckled and conjured himself a comfy chair before settling down.

They sat there in silence for a while until Severus couldn't bear it any more. "I didn't know. I just found out a few weeks ago." he said quietly. "I always knew I was different but my mother never told me."

"I assume, she had put you on the cloaking potion."

"She did and it was working properly until I started brewing the wolfsbane in the same lab I use for my potion."

"I see."

"I'm going to start taking it again when the school year is out." he stated. "And don't you try to talk me out of it. It's my decision to make." he added when he saw the look on the old man's face.

Albus sighed and shook his head. "You're right my boy. However, I must tell you that the potion is not going to work on you anymore. Taking the cloaking potion is supposed to be started in childhood when the magical core has yet to develop and it's not one hundred percent effective even then." he explained.

Severus stared at the Headmaster searching for something, anything that would tell him the man was lying or that he didn't know what he was talking about. But he didn't find anything except for sincerity.

"It's not the end of the world. You're still a powerful wizard."

"I'm defenseless."

"I wouldn't say that. I myself don't know much about elf magic. You could do some research. Perhaps …"

"Stop it, Albus. I don't want to talk about this." snapped Severus and put his head in his hands.

The Headmaster was quiet for a few minutes, then cleared his throat. "There is something else I wanted to talk to you about." he started, stroking his long beard. "I was informed by the Minister that a certain Mrs. Davies is looking into your old case. Care to tell me what she's after?"

"She's my lawyer." said Severus, tensing up. "I want my case to be closed for good."

"Your case WAS closed twelve years ago. I made sure of that."

"My case never went to trial. Legally, I could be accused for those charges again."

Albus' eyes flashed with betrayal and hurt. "Do you think so little of me? Do you actually believe I would ever let you end up in Azkaban?"

"I don't." Severus bit out. "But what happens when you're not there to defend me? You've already lived more than your fair share, are you under the illusion that you're going to outlive everyone?" he asked. He could see the corners of Albus' eyes wrinkling in a smile. "Or perhaps you've got a few Horcruxes tucked away somewhere?" he added.

"What?" Albus whispered, all traces of mirth once again vanishing from his features. "What did you say?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "My apologies, Headmaster. It was wrong of me to speak of such a dark subject in your presence," he said sarcastically.

"Of course. How could I not see it?" Albus murmured in a barely audible voice. He then seemed to shake himself out of his trace. "Why didn't you come to me? You know I have contacts in the ministry."

"Because … you would have dismissed me like you always do."

"I don't understand you, Severus. All these years … why now? Why is it suddenly so important to you?"

Severus massaged his templates. There was no point in delaying the inevitable. He had known he had to tell the man sooner or later. Bracing himself, Severus unbuttoned his cuff and rolled up his sleeve before holding out his left arm.

Albus frowned and leaned closer to get a better look. His white eyebrows rose. He took Severus' arm in his hand and ran the tip of his wand over the pale skin. "How?" he asked as he let go of his arm.

"It happened when the cloaking potion was losing its hold." answered Severus, hiding his forearm from the view once more.

Albus nodded in understanding. "The potion had been cloaking your magical core ever since you were a child. The dark mark couldn't have attached itself directly to your core; it was linked to the cloak instead and when the cloak came off, the mark lost its hold." he explained. "Those seizures you had … it must have been the dark mark fighting to stay or perhaps it was the result of the dark magic that was released when the mark came off. Either way, you are very lucky there was no permanent damage."

"Yes, I pinch myself every day." Severus sneered.

"And how did that motivate you to hire a lawyer?"

Severus sighed. The man was going to make him spell it out. "My past charges didn't matter before because I was going to have to spy again but now …" he trailed off, looking the Headmaster in the eyes.

Albus studied him with his piercing blue eyes. "I understand what it means for you to be rid of the mark. You don't have to spy again. Under the circumstances it's probably for the best." he said finally.

Severus frowned. He had hoped Albus would understand, but … "under the circumstances." he repeated.

"Don't be that way."

"It's already starting." Severus muttered to himself. He had been a force to be reckoned with, he wasn't any more.

"I'm sorry. I know this must be hard for you." said Albus. He raised his hands in surrender when Severus glared at him. "Now, now. You're the one who brought it up."

Severus rolled his eyes at the man's antics. "What am I supposed to do now?" he asked.

"You're abilities as a potions Master are intact. You're going to continue teaching."

"I don't belong in a classroom." Severus bit out. "And I am sick and tired of running after Potter. You expect me to protect him and yet encourage his reckless behavior on every turn. You let him keep an invisibility cloak for Merlin's sake!"

"A cloak like that can come in handy in the time of need."

"How many times had he actually used that cloak out of necessity? He's always sneaking about, endangering himself and others. He used that cloak to sneak in Hogsmeade when he knew damn well it was dangerous for him to do so."

Albus sighed, looking older than usual. "The vow you took must have lost its affect along with the dark mark and I can no longer hold you to that. And under the … I'm sorry. I’m afraid my practicality outweighs my sensibility. In any case, I'm going to need you here, at Hogwarts." he said.

Severus looked down at his hands. His heart filling with resentment.

"How about we make a deal? You only need to teach at Hogwarts for two more years under one condition."

"Yes?"

"I want you to try and be kinder to Harry."

"I don't do kind!" snapped Severus. It seemed like he was never going to be free of that boy.

"You're a strict teacher and there's nothing wrong with that. I have never criticized your teaching methods but you must admit you're harder on Harry than you are on any other student."

"He's rude, disrespectful and undetermined!"

"I understand you have your reasons for disliking Harry but you’re going to have to find a way to look passed all that. Do this and I will convince the Wizengamot to issue you a full pardon."

Severus looked into space. He had been teaching at Hogwarts for thirteen years, two more years wasn't that long. And perhaps he could suppress his true feelings about the golden boy; he had enough experience from dealing with ex-death eaters. It wasn't such a big price to pay for a full pardon. "Two years, no more." he said firmly.

Albus nodded and patted his knee. “There’s a hidden door behind the wall next to the night stand. It opens when you tap it twice with your wand and it leads to Poppy’s office. You may use the floo there.” he said raising to his feet. “But remember, the longer you wait to face everyone the harder it’ll get.”

“Thank you for the tip.” 

“Oh, and one more thing.” said Albus as he got to the door. “Peter Pettigrew escaped this morning.”


	12. Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus' thoughts are on Severus all summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year, everyone!
> 
> I hope you like the new chapter. Let me know what you think :D

Remus apparated to Surrey and made his way to number four private drive. He had been dropping by every week that summer, taking Harry to visit Sirius. Dumbledore had insisted that Sirius should spend some time in St. Mungo's and recover before exercising his right as Harry's godfather and claiming his guardianship.

It seemed like the logical thing to do. Sirius had spent no less than twelve years in Azkaban in the company of dementors and they could have easily questioned his physical and mental capacity in court and things would have gotten ugly.

Remus had been the one to convince Sirius to wait and do it right. All the legal issues aside, Harry deserved a stable and reliable guardian. Sirius' behavior the last school year had proven he wasn't quite ready to accept the responsibility of a vulnerable teenager.

Knowing all this didn't make these trips to the muggle town easier, though. Harry didn't like to talk about his life with the Dursleys but it was obvious he wasn't happy in that house and there were signs that his aunt and uncle were neglectful.

Remus smiled when he saw Harry standing on the sidewalk. He was wearing his usual oversized clothes and shifting from foot to foot in anticipation.

The boy looked relived to see him. Merlin! He got thinner with every week that passed.

"Hello, Professor!"

"Hello, Harry. Ready to go?"

"Yes, we better hurry." said Harry and started walking as if to get away from his aunt's house as quickly as possible.

"Yes, of course." said Remus and fished a bar of chocolate out of his robe's pocket. "Here, you should eat some of it before we apparat."

"Thanks." murmured Harry and bit into the treat like it was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted.

Remus took Harry to a secluded corner. "Ready?" he whispered.

Harry nodded in agreement and they apparated. They got passed the abandoned department store and stepped into St. Mungo's.

"So, if I remember correctly you still have a few inches of your history of magic essay to write. What else is left?"

"Potions." answered Harry grimly. "And McGonagall always tells us to read ahead, so maybe I should do that instead." he added hopefully.

"While I think it's a great idea to go over the next year’s material, it's about time you got started on your potion essay. You know Professor Snape is strict about this kind of thing. He won't be happy with you if don't put in enough effort."

Harry shrugged. "Ron hasn't started his essay either. No one's seen Snape since that day in the infirmary. For all we know he's not going to teach next year."

Remus sighed. He had been worried about Severus. He of all people knew what it meant to be different and for it to be revealed like that would be unthinkable. "Professor Dumbledore has assured us that Professor Snape will be back to teach next year." he said. "Look at it this way, the sooner you do your homework, the sooner it'll get done."

"I guess." mumbled Harry.

They were both quiet the rest of the way to Sirius' room. Harry was probably moping about his homework and Remus' thoughts were on the potion Professor. Severus had not talked to anyone except for Dumbledore. He had left the school the next day and none of the teachers had been able to contact him.

Sirius was standing by the door when they got to his room. He pulled Harry into a hug and the two of them started chattering excitedly. Sirius was supposed to stay in the hospital for six months, which meant he would become Harry's guardian by Christmas and had already made plans for the entire holiday.

Remus let them be and started gathering Harry's things and arranging them on the bedside table. Harry's relatives didn't let him have his books and do his homework over the summer since they didn't approve of magic. It had taken a couple of weeks for Harry to tell the truth about why he hadn't gotten started on his homework. Remus had bought him books, ink and parchment so that he wouldn't fall behind and helped him study while he came to see Sirius.

"Aww Remus, enough with the homework already! Harry doesn't need to spend the whole summer studying." whined Sirius. He still acted like a school boy sometimes.

"Not the whole summer, only a few hours every week." said Remus apologetically.

"Yeah, it's fine Sirius. We have the whole day together." added Harry, sitting on the edge of the bed and picking up his quill. He finished his history of magic paper and put it aside before turning to him and Sirius again. "Do you know where my mom was from?" he asked suddenly.

"She was from somewhere in Manchester." said Remus. He frowned. Lily and Severus used to live in the same town. He distinctively remembered Lily talking about it. Severus' house had been the last one in … something's end.

"Really? Do you know which part of Manchester?" pressed Harry.

"I don't know. I just remember there was a river there." he answered, more to himself.

"Cokeworth." supplied Sirius. "It was a muggle town. I remember because I looked it up. They have some kind of factory there …"

Remus didn't hear the rest of the conversation. Could Severus still be living in his childhood house? If not, someone there might know his new address. It was worth a try.

"… What about you Remus? Remus!"

"What?" he asked distractedly.

"You hungry?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll go get something." he said, getting to his feet. "You'd better get started on your potion essay, Harry. It's not going to write itself." he added with a smile and left for the cafeteria.

………………………………….

Spinner's End; that was the street where Severus had grown up. It was a rundown row of houses next to a polluted river.

Remus had never thought much about the Snape family and where their house was located, but he couldn't imagine any child growing up in such a sketchy neighborhood.

He started walking along the narrow street wondering why he was even there. It had seemed like a good idea yesterday. He needed to check on Severus and find out if he was alright but what would he say? There wasn't much chance of the potions Master actually living there any way.

Remus halted when he reached the last house and knocked. A few minutes later the door opened a friction. "Who's there?" questioned a familiar voice.

"It's Remus Lupin. I'm looking for Severus Snape." he said and wondered if this was Severus himself or a relative.

"What do you want Lupin?" asked the man and opened the door a little wider.

"Severus! It IS you. I wasn't sure if I could find you here."

"Has Dumbledore sent you?"

"No, I…. I was just wondering … May I come in for a minute?"

"I think not. Good bye, Lupin." said Severus and made to close the door.

"No! Wait." exclaimed Remus and put his foot in the way. "I won't take much of your time. I just want to talk to you."

"Talk about what?"

"Nothing really. I just thought we could catch up."

"Catch up?" repeated Severus, raising an eyebrow. "Very well. But you're going to have to clarify a few things for me." he said in a no nonsense tone and moved aside to let him pass.

"Thank you." murmured Remus. The door opened into a small living room. There were bookcases covering every surface.

"This way." said Severus and walked into a room Remus hadn't noticed before. It turned out to be a small kitchen. There was a kettle whistling on the stove. “Would you like some tea? I was about to prepare it before you showed up."

"Yes, that would be nice." he said gratefully.

Severus added a cup and saucer to the tray he had put on the round table and started making the tea.

Remus watched him work for a few seconds, but then his eyes caught a hint of green through a glass door next to the sink and he stepped closer to get a better look. What he saw took his breath away. The small back yard was filled with plants, herbs and flowers and they all looked absolutely beautiful. "Your garden is lovely!" he breathed. "I've never seen such …"

"Milk?" asked Severus, cutting him off.

"What?"

"Do you want milk in your tea?"

"Err, yes thank you." he said, blushing and sat down. He ran a finger over the wooden table. "You sure like to keep your place neat." he observed.

"I like everything to be organized and the plants don't care for dust." said Severus his eyes moving to the small pot of herbs on the counter. 

They were both quiet for a few minutes, sipping their tea. “So, … I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m only going to teach the younger children next year. With Sirius and Harry … I won’t have time to teach full time. It’s for the best. This way you don’t have to cover for me when it’s a full moon.” said Remus. “Mad eye Moody’s going to be teaching the rest of the classes.” he continued when Severus didn’t response.

“Moody? Teaching children?”

“Yes, well. I guess he is a bit too much for kids. Albus realizes that, too. That’s why he insisted that I teach first to third years.” he explained. “Was there something you wanted me to clarify?” he asked when Severus only nodded, trying to avoid another awkward silence.

“First, I’d like to know how you manage to find me. Not that many people have my address.”

“Oh, … Lily once told me you two lived in the same town and that your house was the last one in this street. I took Harry to see Sirius yesterday and they were talking about her. Sirius said she was from Cokeworth … and I pieced all that together.”

“I see.” murmured Severus. He took a long sip from his tea before sitting back in his chair and studying him thoughtfully.

Remus studied the other man in turn. There was quite a contrast between the harsh lines of Severus’ face and his pale skin and soft hair. Unlike him who did his best to be kind and gentle, Severus had made it his life’s mission to appear threatening and tough. It was endearing to see there was another side to him.

“I’ve actually been thinking a lot about Lily lately.” said the potion Master. “We became friends when we were children. There are many things I know about her that she never told anyone else. But there’s one thing I never learned.” he continued with a faraway look on his face.

“Yes?”

“I never learned what animal her patronus was. Do you happen to know?”

“It was a horse.” answered Remus, smiling. “I remember the day she managed to conjure it. It was when she found out she was pregnant with Harry. She said she couldn’t find a happy enough memory before that. Perhaps I should tell Harry this. It would be nice for him to know.”

“We’re done here.” said Severus quietly.

“Not the answer you were expecting? I’ve always thought Lily and James’ patronus were oddly compatible. I’m sure you remember James’ was a stag, he conjured his in class. A horse is as close as you get …” Remus trailed off, the realization dawning on him.

“I said we’re done!” hissed Severus.

“You thought Lily’s was a doe. Your patronus, you thought it was hers.” said Remus, unable to stop himself. “You thought you must be in love with her.”

“I swear to all that is holly, if you breathe a word of this to anyone I will ruin you.”

“You really think I would …”

“Get out of my house.” said Severus through gritted teeth.

Remus stood up and left.


	13. Flower Pots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus gets ready for the new school year.

Severus entered the gardening shop and picked up a cart. The soil was right there near the door, he got two bags of his usual and moved on to the flower pots. He dismissed the plastic ones, they didn’t go with the décor of his rooms at Hogwarts. The stone and ceramic pots looked nice but they were too heavy. In the end, he settled for the clay and made his way to the counter. There weren’t that many people in the store that early in the morning, which meant no line at the checkout.

“Good morning. Mr. Snape!” greeted the cashier. 

“Morning.” responded Severus and started stacking his merchandise in front of the young woman. 

“I see you’ve selected quite a few of our flower pots. Decided to bring some of your garden into the house?”

“Yes, something like that.”

“I wouldn’t mind seeing your plants one day. I can say you take good care of them.” said the cashier and batted her eye lashes at him suggestively.

Severus stared at her for a moment. She always flirted with him a bit but she had never made such a remark. He usually dismissed advances like that, not that they happened that often. He picked up his companions at bars and his relationships never lasted more than a few hours. But that was because he used to think he couldn’t fall in love with anyone.

“Is something wrong? You seem upset.” commented the cashier bringing him out of his thoughts.

“No, nothing’s wrong. It’s just …” 

“Yes?”

Severus ran his fingers through his hair nervously. He couldn’t ask her out. For all he knew she wasn’t even interested. “It’s just, I’ll be leaving today. I teach at a boarding school you see. That’s why I need the pots, so that I can take some of my plants with me.”

“That’s a shame. I was getting used to seeing you here.” said the woman, pouting. “So, you’re a Professor?”

“Yes. I teach chemistry.” lied Severus and took his wallet out of his coat’s pocket.

“That would be 42 pounds.” said the cashier with a warm smile and started putting his things into plastic bags. “Have a nice day, Professor and don’t forget to drop by the store if you come home for a visit.”

“I will, thank you.” said Severus, smiling back and took his change and bags. 

On his way out, he stopped for a moment and glanced in her direction. She was very beautiful, with chestnut hair and brown eyes. He wondered what it would be like to go on a date with her. To have dinner and go for a walk under the moon light. He had never been on an actual date.

The cashier looked up then and gave him another smile and a wink. Severus felt himself blush. He nodded at her and hurried out the door. He kept thinking about her and how their date might have gone on all the way to Spinner’s End.

As soon as he got home, he changed into an old T-shirt and a pair of jeans and started working on his garden. Severus wasn't a sentimental person by any stretch but he was going to miss his plants. He potted one of each to take with him, knowing the rest of them wouldn't survive to see the next summer.

Severus managed to keep his thoughts and feelings in check until he got to the lilies. He didn't know if he had done the right thing by asking Lupin. He had never doubted his patronus was hers until Black had opened his big mouth, implying that the doe represented the fact that he couldn't hurt anyone.

Which was worse? Clinging to an old fantasy or finally being void of it? Was he supposed to leave all the lilies to the mercy of nature? Was he fooling himself if he took one of them with him?

He sat there pondering over those questions for longer than he probably should have but in the end decided despite all the pain and grief it had caused him, loving his childhood friend was a big part of who he was and he wasn't ready to let go, yet.

He wasn't ready to date. Wasn't ready to offer his battered heart to someone else. To be hurt and humiliated all over again.

……………………..……

After tending to his garden, Severus ate a light lunch and apparated near Hogwarts. He went straight to his rooms. Leaving his clothes and books to unpack after the school meeting, he decided to get his plants settled. He tried to figure out where each of them would be the most comfortable and switched them around a few times to get it right. The Lily though stayed in the corner of his living room, out of sight like a shameful secret.

Once Severus was done, he changed into his teaching robes and canceled the glamour he had put on that morning. Wearing a glamour in public would indicate he was ashamed of who he was and he had too much pride for that. There was no use in hiding his appearance anyways, everyone had seen it in the papers.

Straightening his spine he started striding along the empty corridors, appreciating the quite. And that's what met him in the staff room; all conversation died down and everyone turned to stare at him. Severus ignored his colleges and moved to the refreshment table. As he was preparing his tea, he could see Lupin from the corner of his eyes. The man seemed to be trying to decide something.

'Don't come over. Don't come over." he chanted in his head. It didn't work and Lupin started walking in his direction.

Severus picked up his tea and was about to make his escaped when he was cornered by Pomona.

"Severus, dear I was hoping I could talk to you." she said gently as if talking to a frightened first year.

Severus frowned at her tone. He snuck a look at the defense Professor who had stopped in his tracks but seemed ready to pounce at the first given opportunity. "Yes, of course. I think we have a few minutes before the meeting." he told her and casually guided her to the large table that was placed in the center of the room.

"I remember your first year. You formed a strong connection with the plants, like you understood them. It was a mystery to me, why you suddenly seemed to lose interest. You were still on top of my class, but no longer exceptional. Horace always liked to say your high marks in herbology came from your dedication to potions and things related to it but I knew better." Pomona paused, studying him thoughtfully. "Albus told us you were taking a potion to hide your nature. That must have been the reason you lost your ability. I remember writing to your parents. Perhaps if they took my suggestion and let you keep a few magical plants, things would have turned out differently. Your abilities were never truly gone after all. You just …" she frowned, trying to come up with the right words.

"Lost touch."

"Yes, exactly. Do you know why it happened? How you lost touch?"

"It was a long time ago." said Severus quietly. He wasn't about to pour out his heart and tell her about his mother's ultimatum. "There's no way to know for sure."

"I suppose you're right." agreed Pomona with a sigh. "And now? Do you feel the connection again?"

"Yes." answered Severus. “It’s hard to explain.”

Pamona gave him one of those smiles she saved for her Hufflepuffs. "If you ever feel like talking, you can count on me. Also, you're always welcome in my greenhouses. Any time at all."

"Thank you."

"You’re welcome, dear." said Pamona. She leaned closer and pulled him into a quick hug, then turned to Minerva before he could protest.

Severus scowled and straitened his robes. When he looked up he saw Lupin looking at him from across the table, amused. Severus narrowed his eyes at him and the other man looked away at once, blushing like a twelve year old.

At that moment Albus cleared his throat. "I would like to start the meeting with wondeful news. Hogwarts will be hosting the Triwizard Tournament this year." he said.

At that everyone started chattering excitedly.

Severus felt all the blood leaving his face. "The Triwizard Tournament? Do you mean to tell me there will be guests from two other schools and reporters here, all through the school year?” 

"We'll have a few guests from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang and there will be representatives from the daily prophet allowed in the school during the events."

"I did not sign up for this!" he snapped. "You should have told me. Don't you dare try to pretend you didn't know."

"I was made aware of course, but it wasn't a done deal then and the news was not supposed to …"

Severus stood up so quickly that his chair fell to the floor. "You're going to need a new potions Professor, Headmaster." he said. He was beside himself with anger and panic.

Albus rose from his seat as well. "Please leave us for a few minutes. Professor Snape and I are going to discuss something. I'll let you know when you can come back in." he announced to the room, not taking his piercing gaze off of him.

The other teachers cleared out of the room. The two Professors continued their staring contest until the door was closed behind them.

"Severus, try to calm yourself. This kind of behavior does not suit you." Albus told him.

The remark only served to make him angrier. "While acting like a two faced manipulative …" Severus stopped himself before he could say something he would end up regretting. He had learned long ago not to unleash his tongue on his friends when he was angry.

"You gave me your word that you were going to teach here for two more years and be kinder to Harry during that time." said Albus. He took a roll of parchment out of his robes' pocket and put it on the table between them. "I've managed to get you pardoned just like I said I would. What happens now depends on whether you are a man of your word or not. I have no way of stopping you if you decide to leave." he continued coldly.

The old man's words cut through him like a knife. He unrolled the parchment slowly and glanced down at the official letter signed by the Minister of magic. "You win." he whispered, pocketing the document.

Albus' face softened. "I want you to know …"

"I don't care what you want. I've already given you enough." Severus retorted. He rightened the chair he had dropped and sat down, looking into space.

The Headmaster sighed and called the other Professors back in.

Severus sat there numbly as everyone settled around the table once more and the meeting continued. It was ten minutes into the discussion about the tournament and what the tasks would entitle, when someone put a cup of steaming tea in front of him. Severus looked to his right and saw Lupin sitting down next to him. "Your tea had gone cold, thought you might like a fresh cup." he explained in his usual cheerful tone.

Severus stared into the brown liquid, not sure what to make of it. He put his hands around the warm cup and realized how cold he was. He drank his tea in small sips as his colleges continued to ramble on and it made him feel slightly better.


	14. September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The school year starts and so do Severus' troubles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Alex, the cat. I hope cat heaven is as nice as they say it is.

The School year wasn’t off to the best start. Severus had attended Hogwarts’ welcoming feast twenty times before and he had his share of bad ones. Potter and Black had bullied him through the seven welcoming feasts they had attended as students. His first few years as a teacher hadn’t been much better with everyone gossiping about him all through the feast and then there was the time he spent most of the feast looking for Potter and Weasley when they had drove to the school in a flying car. This one though was arguably the worst.

Severus barely made it to the great hall on time. He had spent half an hour trying to figure out what to do to make his hair less noticeable; the purple strands were bright enough to be seen from miles away and his hair reached passed his shoulders. He had cut it a few times during the past week but it had refused to stay at the desirable length and grown back in the matter of hours. He tried pulling his hair into a ponytail but that put his pointy ears on display. In the end he decided to leave it as it was.

Once he got to the hall, he sat at the head table, stiff as a board as the older students arrived at their house tables. In a few minutes, about three hundred pairs of eyes were staring at him, as if they had entered Quality Quidditch and he was the latest broom model. His colleagues pretended there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary going on but they kept sneaking peeks at him to see his reaction.

A few minutes later, Minerva guided the first years inside. Even they seemed eager to take a good look at him. They switched between staring around the hall wide eyed and cringing their necks and studying his every move with their curious eyes. The only one who seemed to be paying the slightest bit of attention to the sorting was Minerva herself. It was sickening.

His luck changed when the new defense against the dark arts Professor finally showed up and the Headmaster announced the news of Hogwarts hosting the Triwizard Tournament. The following days however he had to endure more of the same.

Everyone was treating him differently. The other teachers walked on eggshells around him, probably trying to avoid agonizing him farther and most of his snakes seemed to have lost their respect for him. They didn’t openly defy him but there was something in their eyes that showed they resented having him as their Head of House. Severus had experienced that his first couple of years as Slytherin’s Head of House but his efforts had gained him acceptance.

On top of all that, he had to deal with Moody. The man smirked every time he laid eyes on him. It almost felt like he was anticipating something, some terrible fate that was going to befall him. Severus avoided the man like plague but Moody managed to make up excuses to harass him. He even had the gall to turn Draco Malfoy into a ferret, trash him about and then drag the boy to his office, lecturing him on disciplining his students. Severus had raised hell with Dumbledore after that and Moody had back off but the malicious smirk stayed firmly in place.

Lucius showed up a few days later. Severus was teaching the second year Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff class when he walked in without so much as a knock.

“We need to talk.” said Lucius.

Severus narrowed his eyes at the blond man. “Parents of students are not allowed in the classroom. My office hours begin in about an hour. We may talk then.”

“I’m not merely a student’s parents. In case you’ve forgotten Professor, I’m also on this school’s board of governors!”

“You’re going to have to wait for the class to finish all the same. No one’s allowed to interrupt my class.” Severus shot back.

“Is that so?” drawled Lucius.

“Yes.” hissed Severus and started walking between the tables, checking on the students’ bubbling cauldrons. When he was done he went back to the front of the class, ignoring the holes Lucius was burning into him with his cold gaze. “Your potion should be green by now. Bottle a sample of your work and put it on my desk. For the next class, you’re going to write a four feet essay on the hair rising potion.” he told the class and waited until all of them had cleared out of the room before turning to his old friend.

“You have some nerve!” snapped Lucius, his eyes murderous.

“For what? Doing my job?”

“Doing your job?! Were you doing your job when my son was manhandled and humiliated in front of the entire school?”

“If Draco had told you the full story, you most know that I was nowhere near the scene and that I handled it when I was made aware.”

“Handled it how exactly?”

“I brought it up with Dumbledore.” said Severus through gritted teeth. “I’m not in charge of the other teachers, the Headmaster is. Perhaps you should have used your power at the board of governors to prevent that retched man to be appointed as the defense against the dark arts Professor in the first place.”

Lucius glared at him. “Defense against the dark arts teachers are hard to come by. You on the other hand are not as hard to replace as you think. The Slytherin House deserves a real Head of House not some half breed who is not even capable of defending himself.”

The man’s words shouldn’t have hurt that much but they did. He always used to seek Lucius’ approval as a young boy and he hadn’t entirely grown out of it. “If you have objections concerning my position, you’d be better off discussing it with Dumbledore.” he said quietly and went about rearranging the classroom.

“Did I offend you? I apologize. It’s easy to forget how sensitive your kind can be, you know with all the years you’ve managed to deceive us.” mocked Lucius. “I should have known. I should have known that very first day. You went pale and started sweating and trembling right from the beginning, like you were the one being tortured. You fainted when the screaming started. When you woke up, you threw up all over my carpet. I told everyone you were still sick after receiving the mark. I didn’t let anyone find out how weak you were. The excuses I made for you over the years, telling the dark Lord you were far more useful to us brewing potions, doing research and gathering information.” he continued, his words laced with disgust.

“I never asked you to cover for me.”

“No, you didn’t. But I did it because I was the one who had recommended you in the first place. If the dark Lord was not pleased with you, we both would have paid for it.” Lucius leaned closer, lowering his voice. “I won’t be covering for you anymore. This time, you’ll be on your own.” 

Severus frowned at that. He didn’t have the faintest idea what Lucius was talking about.

“Good luck, Severus. You’re going to need it.” added the other man and then he was out of the room, his cane hitting the stone floor as he moved away.

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. 

“Come in.” called Severus in irritation.

Lupin appeared in the doorway a moment later. “I just saw Malfoy leaving. What did he want?” he asked.

“Nothing that concerns you.” answered Severus and gathered his things.

“Was it about the incident with Moody and Draco?”

“That, among other things. Like I said lupin, it doesn’t concern you.” said Severus and walked past the man into the corridor. 

Lupin followed him as he made his way to his office. “Do you think we could have tea? I thought perhaps we could …”

“Catch up?” interrupter Severus. “As delightful as that sounds, I’m going to have to decline. I have things to tend to, including your potion.”

“Another time then.” said Lupin. They walked in silence for a few minutes. “You know, you should let me help with the potion.”

Severus snorted. “I’ll take you up on that if I ever decide to poison you.” he retorted and opened the door to his office.

Lupin chuckled. “I’m not that bad at potions. I bet if I …” he trailed off. “Dear Merlin!” he breathed as they both walked into the office. Everything was in a state of disarray. There was parchments scattered about and a few of his ingredient jars were broken.

Severus dumped the essays he was holding on his desk and pulled out his wand. Lupin followed suit. “The door to my personal quarters is ajar.” he said and both of them walked in. 

Moody was standing there, wearing that infuriating smirk of his.

“You! What in seven hells do you think you’re bloody doing?” Severus bellowed. “We’re going to Dumbledore, right now!”

Moody chuckled, amused by his rage. “Dumbledore himself gave me permission to inspect the castle, which includes your office and rooms.” he said smugly. “I honestly thought I’d find something more challenging to deal with than flower pots."

Severus looked about the room for the first time. There was soil and broken pieces of clay everywhere, and his plants … His knees buckled underneath him. Moody had broken everyone one of his pots and had ripped his precious plants apart. “Get out.” he managed to whisper.

Moody did leave but not before smashing a few rose paddles under his boot, making Severus flinch

“Severus? Are you alright?” said Lupin, putting a hand on his shoulder. “He had no right. Albus may have given him permission to search the castle but he had no right to ruin your things.”

“I told you to get out."

“I understand that you’re upset. I just want to help.”

“You understand nothing!” Severus snapped and shrugged the man’s hand off his shoulder. “I’m fed up with this nonsense, with everyone treating me like I’ve suddenly turned into something else! I am the same person I have always been. The same person, you and your friends found so amusing to bully. I have always taken care of myself and I don’t need your help or anybody else’s. LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“Alright.” murmured Lupin. He took one last pitting look at him and then he was gone, leaving him in his misery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In canon, everyone suspects that Severus had been a Death Eater but no one has any evidence of that. Also, when Karkaroff starts naming Death Eaters in court, he mentions Severus' name in the end as if he knows it's a long shot.
> 
> In my opinion it's very much possible that Severus wasn't directly involved in the raids.


	15. The Goblet of Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Triwizard Tournament officially begins.

Severus spent the next few days in a mixture of depression and rage. He focused on one thing and one thing only; revenge. That was what kept him from crumbling and gave him enough determination to get out of bed in the morning. Losing his plants like that had been devastating. He had sewn them with his own hands and had taken care of them every day for the past couple of months. They have soaked up his attention like sunlight and in return had given him serenity and peace. He used to talk to them when he woke up and got ready for his day and he would hold one of them after a tiring day.

He was going to get Moody for this: for murdering his friends. He was going to take his time and plot and he would strike when the man expected it the least.

Severus kept going like that until their guests were to arrive. He took refuge in the greenhouses that day, spending his lunch break tending to the magical plants and listening to them move and grow. They gave him strength to face what was about to come, to be ogled at by yet more people and to face Igor Karkaroff.

The sun sat too soon and Severus stood among the other Professors to welcome the new comers. From the moment Karkaroff stepped out of Durmstrang’s ship, his beady eyes were glued to him. There was something in those eyes that Severus couldn't understand; a mixture of fear, hope and cunning.

The man came right to where he was standing. "Severus, how are you old friend?" he said in a chipper voice and stepped closer as if to embrace him.

Severus stuck his hand out. "Igor." he murmured in greeting.

Igor chuckled. "You're still shy, I see." he commented and shook his hand, pulling him closer. "We need to have each other's backs, you and I." he whispered and subtly squeezed Severus' left forearm before letting go.

Severus masked his shock. Igor was not the first one to drop hints about their past; Lucius had done the same thing. Although, whereas Lucius wanted to break ties with him, from the looks of things Igor intended to get closer. This was no coincidence.

"It's a pleasure to have you here, Headmaster Karkaroff." said Minerva, attempting to get Igor's attention.

The man stared at him for a few more seconds before turning to the deputy Headmistress and then shook hands with the rest of Hogwarts' faculty.

"What did he want?" asked the transfiguration Professor as they made their way to the great hall for dinner.

"Why do you care?"

"Don't be like that! If he bothers you, you'll let us know. Understand?" she demanded.

"Us? Who's us?" asked Severus in amusement, raising an eyebrow.

"Your colleagues, of course. You're one of us and we take care of our own. Why do you think Moody doesn't come to the staffroom when you're there anymore? I've been having him supervise detentions between seven and eight every night."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "Lupin told you. That gossipy fishwife!"

"The what?!" asked Minerva in confusion, then shook her head. "He didn't tell us exactly what happened only that Moody is being vindictive towards you because of your nature and from the way you've been these past few days, it's obvious he has managed to get to you."

Severus frowned. He pulled the transfiguring teacher's chair back for her and then took a seat himself. "I'm a big boy, Minerva. I know how to handle people like that. I'd appreciate it if you …"

"Like it or not, we're all going to keep an eye on you from now on. You're our youngest after all." said Minerva with a smirk.

"In case you've forgotten, Lupin and I are the same age.” he snapped. He hated that joke and the insufferable woman knew it.

“We’re co-workers, Severus. We should have each other’s backs.”

“That’s the second time someone’s told me that today.” he said as Igor settled into the seat next to him.

Severus put on a fake smile as the man started chattering and responded as politely as he could manage while Minerva pretended she wasn’t eavesdropping.

…………………………..

The school buzzed with excitement as the students put their names in the goblet, volunteering to risk their lives to take part in a ridiculous tournament and for the chance to win a handsome reward and of course their peers’ attention and approval.

Severus wasn’t particularly surprised when Cedrick Diggory was chosen as Hogwarts’ champion; no one could deny the boy’s potential. He wished he could say he was surprised when Potter’s name came out of the goblet in the end. He stood there quietly as everyone argued over what had just happened and held his tongue. He had promised to be kinder to Potter and that was the only way he could accomplish that; pretending the boy didn’t exist.

It wasn’t that hard, considering he wasn’t Potter’s keeper any longer. Had he been still responsible for the boy’s safety, he would have been frantic right now. He was concerned of course, but he knew Dumbledore was going to find a way to protect his precious golden boy. This also gave him a chance to observe everyone. They all seemed confused and outraged, all of them except for Moody. The man even had a theory about how the goblet had malfunctioned.

Even Potter seemed dumbstruck. It wasn’t out of the roam of possibilities that Potter and his nosey friends could have found a way to tamper with the goblet but it was very unlikely. Severus now knew that most of the stunts they had managed to pull in the past had been due to access to the invisibility cloak and that map. Moody though certainly had the ability to have caused this. He also had easy access. Of motive, Severus wasn’t sure but he would bet half of his lab equipment that the man was somehow involved.

“Do you believe this?!” exclaimed Lupin, bringing him out of his musings. “They say Harry has to participate in the tournament.”

“Yes, I heard. I was right here.”

“This is mad. They put in the age restriction for a reason, it’s far too dangerous for a fourteen year old.” said Lupin, shaking his head. “Dumbledore asked me in the beginning of the year to watch over Harry. How am I supposed to watch over him now? No one is allowed to interfere with the tournament.”

Severus snorted. “The tasks may be dangerous but I suggest you try protecting him from his Professors. It’s not the first time one of them had put the boy’s life in danger.” he warned, looking at Moody pointedly.

Lupin followed his line of vision. “We didn’t get a chance to talk after … you know. How have you been?”

Severus narrowed his eyes. “You think I’m just saying this because I hold a grudge against him. Dumbledore accused me of the same thing last year when I tried to warn him of your involvement with Black. You did end up saying I was right about you all along, didn’t you?” he said silkily.

Lupin paled, he opened and closed his mouth a few times like a gold fish but no sound came out. “You don’t think Karkaroff is more dangerous than Moody?” he finally asked.

Severus shrugged. “There’s no way of saying which one is more dangerous.” he admitted and turned to leave. For the first time he could remember, he pitied his old classmate. The Headmaster seemed to have found a replacement for him, someone to look over his golden boy. Better Lupin than him, he thought as he walked to his office.


	16. Dragon Scales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus has an unexpected encounter in the forest.

Having just finished the wolfsbane, Severus decided he had earned some time in the forest. He went to the greenhouses almost every day but he didn't go wondering into the forest very often.

He waited until Lupin came and got his potion and then went through the stack of fifth years’ essays on his desk. It was an hour past the students' curfew when he finally put on his cloak and went outside.

Severus walked to his spot, a little deep into the forest and knelt down. He tuned out the newly arrived dragons that were unfortunately placed close by and started talking to the weeds and plants growing there; telling them about the time he had seen the ocean for the first time. He had been at a potions conference in Australia. He told them about the boy with blue eyes and tanned skin. Severus had been so smitten with the Australian muggle that he had let himself be dragged to a nude beach. When he went back for the next conference three years later, the boy had been married but the ocean was still beautiful.

"I never went back, though." he whispered to them. "The conference is not really international. I went there the first time because I wanted an excuse to get away from Hogwarts for a couple of weeks and the next time I went I was hoping to get laid, which I didn't." he paused, trying to remember his old companion's face. "That's usually what happens when you have high expectations. Good things happen when you expect them the least. Things like finding rare ingredients and handsome twenty year olds with a taste for older men. It's funny, the older I become the easier it gets for me to locate potion ingredients but harder to find people who'd be interested in me. And as obsessed as I am with potions, I'd rather have the other right now." he went on wistfully until he heard footsteps approaching.

It was a tall red headed boy with a ponytail. "Hello, Professor." he said and leaned against a tree.

Severus took in the sight before him. The boy was tanned and had deep blue eyes, just like his old lover. Was he seeing things? "And who might you be?" he asked, smirking.

"It's Charlie Weasley, sir. I'm in charge of the dragons." answered the young man, giving him a once over.

The smirk fell from Severus' face. Of course! A Weasley. "Mr. Weasley." he said curtly. "If you're looking for your dragons, you're walking in the wrong direction." he said with as much authority as he could muster.

Weasley seemed taken aback by his change of tone. "I know. I'm just taking a break." he said with a shrug and stepped closer. He had changed considerably in the few years he had been out of school. "I've noticed this part of the forest is more beautiful. Now I know why."

Severus looked down, touching the soil lightly with the tips of his fingers. This was the spot where he had buried what was left of his dead plants. He had chosen this part of the forest because it used to be particularly sparse. It looked a lot different now, however.

"You know, if you're out here gathering ingredients you should come to our camp; there's dragon scales everywhere." said Weasley, pointing to the potions kit he had brought along as cover.

Severus felt a jolt of excitement and rose to his feet. "Is any of them female? Females shed some of their scales when they reach puberty."

The boy smiled. "Yes, one of them is female and she's ten." he said turning around and gestured for him to follow.

Severus frowned but started walking. He stopped short of the large cages. There were four fierce looking dragons, each one a different kind.

"Magnificent, aren't they?" said Weasley as he started petting the largest one. The horntail narrowed her eyes in pleasure and purred like a cat.

"Indeed."

"You can come closer. They won't hurt you."

"And how would you know that?" inquired Severus, approaching them gingerly.

"I've just fed them and they know we're not a threat." said the redhead confidently, then bent down collected the scales that were scattered under the dragon's feet. "Good girl." he whispered to her, holding his hands to Severus.

"Do you actually care about them?" asked Severus as he carefully picked up the scales one by one from Weasley's large hands and placed them an empty container.

"Of course I do."

"Then how do you justify putting them against wizards for entertainment?"

The boy smiled again. "It would as entertaining for them as it would be for us. Dragons are playful creatures and they'd love a good workout. Trust me, I've been with them long enough to know."

"Hmmm." Severus hummed, not fully convinced.

"It's different for you, isn't it? You understand what the plants want. You can hear them."

"I do." whispered Severus and looked up from his work. The boy was still smiling and his eyes were shinning with warmth. "They don't actually talk to me but I do hear them." he added and reached for the last scale.

Weasley closed one of his hands around Severus' and raised the other one, caressing his purple lucks.

"Mr. Weasley! This is completely inappropriate." he snapped.

"Why?”

"I'm much older than you for one thing."

Weasley raised an eyebrow, not letting go of his hand. "I don't think you care about my age. You were going to flirt with me before you found out who I was."

"You're my student. I don't fool around with my students."

"I haven't been your student for a long time." said Weasley and leaned closer.

"It hasn't been that long." breathed Severus.

"Yes, it has." whispered Weasley and kissed him lightly on the mouth. "Do you really want me to stop?" he asked, his voice thick with arousal.

Severus looked at the boy's blue eyes and freckled face. Was there really a reason to resist? Weasley was young but old enough to know what he was doing and he happened to be very attractive. He put his free hand behind the boy's neck and urged him forward.

Weasley smiled against his lips and kissed him again, deeper this time. He backed Severus against a tree and raised his hands above his head, holding him there. Just then, the dragon scale Severus was still holding broke and the pieces dug into his hand, making him wince.

"What's wrong? You don't like that?" 

"No, it's my hand. Let go." hissed Severus.

Weasley loosened his hold and let him pull his hand back. Severus opened his fist slowly and stared down at the mess.

"Oh, god! I'm so sorry. I forgot it was there." exclaimed Weasley. "It looks bad. We should go to Madam Pomfrey."

Severus examined his hand critically. He had a few deep cuts on his palms and scraps and pieces had gotten under his skin but he had had worse. “It can wait.” he said.

Weasley handed him a handkerchief. "No, it can’t. You could get an infection.”

Severus sighed as he wrapped the handkerchief loosely around his hand. "You were always a cheeky one.”

“Let’s go.” said Weasley firmly and shouldered Severus’ potion kit.

“Fine.” murmured Severus. From the looks of things, he wasn’t getting anything more than potion ingredients that night. “You owe me a dragon scale, you know.” he said as they walked to the castle.


	17. The First Task

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Triwizard tournament's first task takes place but Severus' thoughts are on a certain redhead.

Severus cursed as they reached the infirmary. Minerva was right there with Poppy. "Is something wrong?" asked Poppy as she noticed them.

"I hurt my hand while I was collecting ingredients." said Severus before Weasley had a chance to respond.

"Let's have a look." murmured the mediwitch, coming closer.

Severus nodded and unwrapped the now blood soaked handkerchief from his hand.

Poppy gasped. "How in Merlin's name did this happen?" she snapped even as she gently held his hand up to look at the damage.

"It was my fault." said Weasley defensively, as if they were both school boys who had gotten caught breaking the rules. "He was holding a dragon scale and I squeezed his hand."

"What exactly were you two doing? Holding hands? Snuggling each other senseless?" asked Minerva with a smirk.

"What? … No! We’ve just gotten… I mean …" stuttered Weasley, blushing.

"You don't have to answer her. It's none of her business." said Severus, glaring at the other Professor. "Just put my bag somewhere and get back to your dragons."

"You're sure you don't want me to stay?"

"Yes, I think I can manage."

"Alright, if you're sure." murmured Weasley before putting Severus’ potions kit on one of the beds and walking out of the room.

"This is going to hurt. I hope the kiss was at least worse it." said Poppy as she picked up a tweezer.

"What makes you think I kissed him?"

"We're not idiots, Severus. We've caught enough students snuggling to know the look and you certainly look like you've had some fun." teased Minerva. Severus resisted the urge to smoothen his hair and robes.

"We're going to be here for a while. You might as well tell us how it happened." added Poppy as she vanished the blood with a wave of her wand.

"You're not getting anything out of me." Severus said firmly.

"I beg to differ." retorted Poppy and pulled a piece of scale out of his hand.

Severus winced and glared at her. The mediwitch continued her work without missing a bit.

"So, Charlie Weasley? You can't get more Gryffindor than a Weasley. Never knew you were into Gryffindors." said Minerva, her eyes dancing with mirth.

"I'm into handsome men." corrected Severus.

"Oh yes. He is handsome, isn't he?" Poppy chimed in.

"Very handsome." agreed Minerva. "Not to mention tall and muscular. You must be more charming than you let on, seducing someone like that."

Severus frowned. Wesley had been the one that had come on to him, not the other way around. He hadn't had time to duel on that at the time but now he couldn't help but wonder what had motivated the boy. “Don’t you have anything better to do than prying into my affairs, Minerva?” he snapped, his mood changing.

“There’s no need to get defensive. We’re only teasing.”

“I think we’re embarrassing him.” murmured Poppy as she continued to work on his hand.

Severus no longer felt the pain. He thought back to Weasley’s school years. The boy had been wildly popular. He had been outgoing and pleasant on top of being a perfect and captain of Gryffindor’s quidditch team. It wasn’t just their age difference, they didn’t have anything in common. He looked down at the bedside table where Poppy was placing the black shinny pieces she took out of his palm. Perhaps this injury wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

……………………………..….

The following day, Severus’ thoughts kept going to Weasley despite his best effort. Knowing the two of them weren’t a good match didn’t make the memories of their encounter in the forest any less exciting. 

Severus kept thinking about the boy’s full lips, soft and warm against his own thin ones and the insistent tongue trying to find a way inside his mouth. He wondered how things would have gone if the scale was not so fragile, or if he had managed to mask his discomfort. Would they have had sex right there, in front of the dragons and against the aged tree? He had never done anything like that outdoors. The thought was somewhat arousing. Then again, one of the other dragon keepers could have walked in on them. That would have been mortifying.

Severus thought about the handsome redhead all morning and all the way to the field were the first task was to take place. As he sat next to the other teachers in the stands, his eyes automatically searched through the field amongst the dragon keepers. His heart skipped a bit when he saw Weasley was looking at his direction. The boy smiled when their eyes met, blushing a bit. Severus gave a small nod in greeting and looked away.

As the tournament started, Weasley’s attention turned to the dragons and the champions and Severus continued observing him. The boy was obviously good at his job and was passionate about it. The site of him handling the wild creatures was a treat. It was enough for Severus to forget his reservations about pursuing him.

Once the tournament was over, Severus hurried to get back to the castle before he could make a fool of himself. He was almost in the clear when a shrewd female voice called his name. 

“Professor Snape! I was hoping to run into you.” said the witch in the acid green robes. It was Rita Skeeter, the most repulsive reporter in the wizarding Britain.

“Did you?” asked Severus in his most frightening voice.

“Yes, I thought you might like an interview.” she answered, unfazed.

“And why would I want to do such a thing?”

“It’ll give you a chance to share your story. To talk about your creature side.”

“I think not.” said Severus coldly “Good day Madam.” he added in a mocking tone and bowed slightly before turning on his heels and walking away full speed. 

The woman’s hastened steps followed him. “I wouldn’t be so hasty if I were you. If you don’t talk, people will come up with their own story.”

Severus’ eyes narrowed. “Wouldn’t you rather bother the famous Harry potter instead of me?” he snapped, pointing to where the golden boy was walking along his redheaded friend, who thankfully didn’t resemble his older brother.

“Think about it. I’ll dropped by later to see if you’ve changed your mind.” remarked Skeeter distractedly before hurrying over to catch up with Potter.

Severus continued to the castle without a backward glance. Cursing the woman to hell and back as he went. 

He started pacing when he got to his office, still agitated. The wretched woman thought he was so much of a dunderhead that he would agree to an interview with her and had the nerve to threaten him. Severus slumped down in a chair, suddenly wary. Of course she would threaten him. No one took him seriously these days.

There was a knock on his door. It seemed like Skeeter was done with Potter already. Severus considered ignoring her and hiding away in his office for the rest of the day but decided against it. He was no coward, despite what others seemed to think.

Determined, he walked to the door and pulled it open. "Are you hard of hearing? I said no!" he barked. The words had just left him when he realized it was not Skeeter at his door but Charlie Weasley; the subject of his obsession.

The boy took a couple of steps back at his tone, paling. "What do you … I was just … you said I owed you a dragon scale, I thought you meant ... If you don't want me here …"

Severus rolled his eyes. "Come in, Wealey." he ordered, getting out of the way.

Weasley complied sheepishly. Severus closed the door behind him. "I thought you were that reporter." he explained.

"Oh! You mean Skeeter? I hear she can be very insistent." commented the dragon keeper, relaxing.

"Yes, Insistent, irritating and extremely arrogant." grumbled Severus.

"What does she want?"

"An interview. She wants me to share my story, as if I’d want to remind people of my elf blood.” he mocked. “As if they’d ever forget.” he added quietly, more to himself.

Weasley frowned. “I don’t know about other people but I think being part elf is incredible. There’s a large clan of them living in Romania. They’re fascinating creatures and they happen to be very powerful.”

Severus snorted. “Yes, they’re powerful alright. That’s why the dark Lord vanished them from Britain without having to bat an eye.” 

“He also killed a lot of witches and wizards and most of them were quite powerful. And he didn’t manage to kill all of them. As a matter of fact …”

“I don’t want to talk about this Weasley. I’m not in the best of moods in case you haven’t noticed.” said Severus, getting wary again.

For a moment, it looked like the boy was about to argue but then his features turned mischievous. “You’re upset. How about I kiss it better?” he purred and stepped closer. He touched Severus’ bright hair, just like the last time. 

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Does my elf side excite you?” he whispered.

“Oh, yes.” Weasley whispered back and kissed him.

Severus pulled back slightly, considering. He didn’t care for people treating him differently because of his nature but there was really no harm in fulfilling the boy’s fantasy. It wasn’t like he would be the only one benefiting from this after all; Weasley had a lot to offer.

“What?” whined Weasley at the loss of contact.

“We should go to my personal quarters. That woman might still show up and I don’t want to get interrupted again.” said Severus. He waved his wand to make the door to his rooms appear. He gave Weasley a small kiss and took his hand, guiding him inside.


	18. A Night to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weasley stays over for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry about the late update. I've been very busy these past few days. I hope you guys like the new chapter. Let me know what you think :D

As soon as they were safely in Severus' sitting room, Weasley attacked his mouth. The boy had a couple of inches on him easy and Severus found himself grasping his wide shoulders for support as he tilted his head back.

After a few minutes of passionate kissing, Weasley started guiding him backwards until the back of his legs connected with the sofa. Severus hesitated for a moment before laying down on the large sofa. The next instance, Weasley was on top of him, kissing and nuzzling his neck while his hands reached for Severus' trousers and started to work on the buttons. Severus found the position extremely uncomfortable. He pushed at the boy's shoulder slightly to get his attention. Weasley stopped in his tracks and looked up, his blue eyes clouded with lust and confusion.

"If we're doing this, we've got to do it right. Unless you have something more urgent to get to."

"Of course not." said the redhead, frowning.

"Good. Now, take off your clothes. You're not getting my pants off while you're still dressed."

"Alright." murmured Weasley. He sat up and started undressing without a second thought.

Severus watched him as he unfastened his own robes and unbuttoned his shirt, then stood up and stalked to his bedroom. He could hear the boy’s footsteps as he turned the light on with a wave of his wand. He stripped down to his underwear and laid down on the bed before turning to Weasley, who was watching him from the doorway with hooded eyes, and patted the bed.

Taking the hint, Weasley settled next to him this time and resumed his advances. Severus relaxed and put his arms around his young companion, placing small kisses on his shoulders and biceps.

They took their time exploring each other's bodies. Despite being impatient and overly excited, Weasley tried to be gentle and considerate. Truth be told, Severus had had far more skillful bedmates before but he had never experienced this level of passion. This time, he knew he could give himself fully to his partner. He felt light and free, no longer plagued by the belief that he was in love with a dead woman. He turned his brain off and allowed himself to enjoy the love making for the first time in a long time.

"That was amazing!" rasped Weasley afterwards. "How did you get to be so good in bed?"

"Practice. Everything improves with practice." murmured Severus, throwing a sidelong glance at his companion. "And there’s always room for improvement." he added with a smirk.

"Gee, thanks." murmured Weasley, blushing. "You’re the first guy who has ever complained.” he added moodily.

Severus held back a chuckle. “Don’t take offence. You must know how strict I am.” he said, kissing the boy’s temple. “All I said was that you could use more practice.”

“Oh, really? Want to go again?”

Severus did chuckle this time. “I’d love to but I’m afraid you’ve worn me out already. Give me some time.” he said.

“Alright, old man.” whispered the boy and leaned closer with a satisfied sigh.

And just like that, whatever spell Severus had been under was broken. He was not one to cuddle. The act was too intimate, too awkward. Not knowing what to do with himself, Severus held his breath and stayed very still until he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t want to throw Weasley out, so he raked his brain for an excuse to escape the boy’s embrace without hurting his feelings. “You know, I think it’s passed dinner time. We should probably eat something, unless your presence in required elsewhere.” he said casually.

“No, I can stay.” answered Weasley with a shrug. “What did you have in mind?”

“I’m going to order food from the kitchen.” said Severus and slipped out of bed, putting on a dressing gown. “I want a salad. You may order what you like.”

“I wouldn’t mind having some Hogwarts food, you know meat and potatoes or something.”

“Alright. I’ll tell them to send a portion of what they had for dinner.” said Severus and turned to leave.

“Professor, Could I borrow some parchment and ink? I should write to my mom, she was worried sick about Harry.”

“It’s all in the nightstand’s drawer. I’ll get you my owl.” 

“That would be great, thanks.” said the redhead and reached into the drawer.

Severus entered his living room with a sigh. He stood there for a second, trying to calm the sense of panic that had crept up in his chest. He had just slept with Arthur and Molly Weasley’s son. He was getting involved with a member of the family that were too good and pure for the likes of him, the family that acted like Harry Potter was their foster child.

He was being silly, he told himself as he knelt down in front of the fireplace and ordered their food. The boy was only interested in him because of his elf side, nothing more. It didn’t mean much that the boy had wanted to cuddle with him; it was probably a Weasley thing.

“Gagan.” he called his owl, who flied down from his cage and sat on his shoulder. “I need you to deliver a letter for a friend of mine. He’s in the bedroom. Once you’re done there, don’t linger for too long. I don’t want you hanging around those people.” he ordered.

The brown owl hooted in agreement and rushed away to do as he was told. 

Their food arrived next. Severus put it on the small table in the corner and waited for Weasley. His lips quivered in amusement when the boy walked in wearing his old nightshirt, which was too short on him.

“I hope you don’t mind. I wore the first thing I found.”

“It’s fine.” said Severus. “Let’s eat. I’m famished.”

“Me too.” agreed Weasley and sat down in front of him. “I like your owl. It’s not a breed you see often here. Where is it from?” he asked, digging into his food.

“He’s an Indian eagle-owl. I made a potion for someone from India a few years back, they gave me this owl as payment.”

“Really? I didn’t know you brewed potions outside of school. I mean, I’ve heard you do research but I thought that was all.”

“I don’t brew everyday potions outside of school but I have offers every now and again for complex potions. I do as many as I can; I don’t like to turn down work if I have the time to do it.” explained Severus. Growing up poor, he was always worried about money. He had a pretty decent salary at Hogwarts. He was a senior staff member and head of House and he got extra payment for the brewing he did for the infirmary. However, he never lost an opportunity to gain a little extra cash.

“I understand.” said Weasley. He probably did, it was no secret that the Weasley family wasn’t well to do. “This is really good. You should try some.” said the boy, taking another bite from his roast beef. He put some meat on his fork and held it out to Severus.

“No, thanks. I don’t eat meat.”

“Oh, that would makes sense.” Weasley whispered, more to himself and lowered his fork. “Did you stop eating meat when your potion lost its effect or have you always been a vegetarian?”

“It happened when I realized I couldn’t hurt other living things.” said Severus. It was odd to talk about this. No one else had the nerve to ask him things about his elf side. Then again, his companion was a Gryffindor. “I can’t bring myself to eat a dead animal.”

“Does it bother you that I’m eating meat?” asked the boy, biting his lip.

“No, it’s alright. I don’t mind.” lied Severus and took a bite of Weasley’s mashed potatoes, well aware of the intimacy of the action. “You want some of my salad?” he offered.

“Sure.” said Weasley, his feathers relaxing. “You know, you must be from a direct elf line.” he added after a few minutes of silence.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Being connected to plants is one thing, but not being able to harm living things … that’s more than a magical inheritance. One of your parents must have been a half-elf.”

Severus rubbed at his right palm. He had healed the cuts on his hand after Pomfrey was done with it. He knew healing was considered a gift between elves. He hadn’t thought about it before but he boy was right, he must have a strong connection to elves to be a healer. “My father was a muggle and my mother … I don’t think she had elf magic.”

“Perhaps you could talk to the elves? They must know something.”

“They’re dead, remember?”

“Not all of them. About a dozen of them survived you know who’s attack and moved to Romania. I’ve told you before, there’s a large community of them living there.”

“Even so, I don’t see any reason why I should talk to them.” said Severus curtly.

“You could learn more about yourself.” insisted Weasley. “I’ll contact them if you like.”

“No, I don’t think so.” snapped Severus. “You’re done with your dinner?” he added in a softer voice. 

The boy blinked at him. “I … yeah, sure. Let’s get back to bed.” he agreed finally.


	19. Unannounced Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkaroff shows up at Severus' quarters.

Severus woke up to someone banging at his door. He blinked, a warm body was spooning against his back. He cringed his neck and glanced at his companion. The dragon keeper seemed to be sleeping peacefully, if his even breathing was any indication, and he had his arms wrapped around Severus’ waist. Reaching for his wand, Severus casted a tempus on the wall. It was eight, he had overslept. “Weasley?” he whispered.

“Hmmm?” murmured the redhead in response, shifting a little.

“Someone’s at the door. It could be an emergency, I have to answer.”

Weasley mumbled something unintelligible and rolled away, burying his head under a pillow.

Severus casted a cleaning charm on himself before getting out of bed and putting on his dressing gown. He rushed to the door, wand still in hand and opened it only to become face to face with Igor Karkaroff. To say he was annoyed was an understatement. “What brings you here, Igor?” he asked as politely as he could manage.

“You weren’t at breakfast. We need to talk.” said the man in a slightly panicked voice. “Aren’t you going to let me in?” he added in irritation.

Severus sighed. “I must get ready for my classes, whatever it is I’m sure it can wait.”

“I need to speak with you, NOW!"

Severus hesitated for a second. He didn’t want to let the man in while Weasley was still in his bedroom but if he didn’t, one of the students could overhear them. “Very well. Five minutes, no more.” he said and stepped aside.

Karkaroff came in and started pacing.

Severus closed the door and leaned against it. “Well? I thought you said it was urgent.” he said, getting impatient.

“You know very well why I’m here. You must have felt it too, why else would you have shut yourself in here?”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“Don’t play coy!” snapped Karkaroff and got closer. The corner of his eye was twitching. “I’m talking about this.” he whispered, grabbing Severus’ left forearm. “It got much darker last night. I knew you must have felt it too when you didn’t show up for dinner. What are you planning to do?” he continued, leaning closer.

Severus wretched his arm free and walked away from the door, putting some space between himself and the furious man. “I’m going to get ready for my classes. I suggest you go about your own business.” he said and opened the door with a wave of his wand.

“You can’t keep pretending for long. With your situation, you should take all the help you can get.”

“Good day, Igor.” hissed Severus through greeted teeth.

“We’ll speak again soon.” said Karkaroff, slamming the door behind him.

Severus glared at the wooden door for a moment, then frowned. The dark mark getting more visible could only mean one thing. Albus was the only one who knew his mark had vanished. Could Karkaroff have found out somehow? Was he trying to trick him or was his concern real?

“Was that Karkaroff?” asked someone from behind him.

Severus turned around and saw Wealey leaning against the bedroom door, still wearing the old nightshirt. “Yes.” he answered simply.

“What did he want?”

“Nothing that concerns you.” said Severus shortly. “Do you want some tea?” he offered and moved over to the small kitchenette in the corner.

“No, thank you. I should get going.”

“Alright.” murmured Severus distractedly and went about preparing the tea, deep in thought.

Weasley disappeared into the bedroom. He came out a few minutes later, fully dressed. “Goodbye, Professor.” he said in a tight voice and walked to the door but didn’t leave, standing there with his hand on the doorknob.

Severus watched him as he sipped his tea. “Something on your mind?” he asked.

The boy sighed and turned around. “I’ve got to ask … are you and Karkaroff …” he trailed off, blushing.

“Yes?”

“Are you sleeping with him?” 

Severus stared at the young man for a moment, trying to register what he had just said then burst out laughing.

Weasley blushed more, his face getting almost as red as his hair. “Never mind.” he murmured and turned to the door once more.

Severus felt a pang at his chest. For some reason, he didn’t want to upset the boy and suddenly the situation wasn’t all that funny anymore. “Wait.” he said, sobering up. “I’m not sleeping with him. He’s one of the most repulsive people I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting.” he continued. “I’m sorry I laughed, your question caught me by surprise, that’s all.”

Weasley seemed relieved at his answer “It’s alright. I overreacted.” he said with a small smile.

Severus downed the rest of his tea and poured himself another one. “You sure you don’t have time for tea?”

“Yeah, I should go.” answered Weasley, smiling again. He was about to say something but seemed to change his mind. “I had a nice time last night. Hope to see you soon, Professor.” he said finally and stepped out the door.

Severus stood there, staring at the closed door. The boy’s reaction was odd, then again he DID look like the jealous type.

………………………………………

Albus Dumbledore pulled yet another memory out of his temple and put it inside his pensieve, watching the silvery strands swirl about. He was gathering information about Tom Riddle. Anything from his parentage and childhood to his education at Hogwarts and his affairs after graduating. They were all pieces of the puzzle that would guide him to the truth. He needed to know if Tom really had created Horcruxes and if he had, how many he could have made and where they were hidden.

It had been Severus who had unknowingly brought up the possibility of Horcruxes. They had been arguing when Severus' inheritance had first become known and the young man had accused him of thinking himself immortal. His wording had given Albus the clue, Severus had sarcastically asked him if he had a few Horcruxes lying about and that was all Albus needed. Everything started to make sense; Tom's arrogance and willingness to directly interfere with the battles and of course, the way he had vanished and the diary.

It was simple really but in all the years it had escaped Albus' grasp. That's what was so unique about Severus; his gift for clarity and his bluntness.

The young Professor had not set foot in his office since the beginning of the term when Alaster Moody had saw it fit to harass Draco Malfoy. Severus had yelled at him until he was hoarse and had not calmed down until Albus assured him that it would never happen again. The old Headmaster sat behind his desk with a sigh. He missed his potion Master's company. No one else around Hogwarts was as honest with him as Severus. Everyone else either respected him or feared him too much to criticize him and pin point his faults.

It was not just him the young man was avoiding. Severus was less approachable this year than ever before. Albus had tried to get through to him without much success, so he had decided to back off for now … well, not really back off but change tactics.

"Come in Harry." he called as the wards informed him of the boy’s arrival.

“Hello, Professor. You wanted to see me?”

“Yes, please sit down. I’ll be with you in a moment.” said Albus and picked up his pensieve, putting it in the cabinet.

“What is that, sir?” asked Harry.

“That, dear boy is a pensieve. It holds thoughts and memories much like photos do.” he answered with a smile and sat down behind his desk, looking down at the photos Scattered on top. “When you get to my age, there are too many of them and the pensieve helps me sort them out.”

Harry nodded, eyeing the magical photos curiously.

“I asked you here to talk about the holidays. As you know, your godfather has been released from St. Mungo’s and is quite eager to have you for Christmas.”

“Yes, he wrote to me this morning. He said he’s going to fix his house.” said Harry, not looking up from the photos.

“Sirius’ house has old safety wards and Professor Lupin and myself will be adding additional wards to ensure your safety. As long as you don’t leave the house, there should be no problem.” 

Harry nodded, then frowned. “Errr, professor … the girl in that photo, is she … is it my mother?” he asked hesitantly, a hopeful tone to his voice.

“Why yes, that is her. It was taken when she was the same age as you are now, my boy.”

Harry beamed at him and picked up the photo to get a better look. “Who is the boy sitting next to her?” he asked.

Albus looked at the slight dark haired boy who was smiling shyly. “That would be Professor Snape.”

“Snape?! Why is he sitting with my mom?”

“Lily and Severus were good friends. Even though they were in different houses, they spent a lot of time together.”

“But … he’s mean and … and dark and he hated my father. How could my mom be friends with him?”

“Professor Snape may not be a particularly nice person but there’s more to him that meets the eyes.” said Albus, his eyes twinkling. “Would you like some tea, my boy?” he asked, summoning the tea pot. “It seems like we have company.” he added as the wards alerted him of another presence.

A moment later, the door burst open and Severus walked in. Harry jumped at seeing his potions Professor and clutched the photo to his chest.

Albus was a bit taken aback himself. “Severus! You’ve arrived just on time. We were about to have tea.” he said, recovering from his shock.

“No, thank you. I don’t have much time before my next class, Headmaster. I need to talk to you … in private.” he added the last part as he glared at Harry.

Albus stared at the young man’s dark eyes, he could say it was important. “Of course, my boy. Harry, would you please excuse us?”

“Is it Ok if I keep the photo?”

“Yes, certainly.” agreed Albus, looking at the boy fondly.

Severus waited until he was sure Harry was gone before speaking. “I think the dark Lord’s coming back.” he said.

Albus frowned and leaned back in his chair. He had not expected that.


	20. The Photo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's first Christmas with his godfather doesn't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Thank you all for reading and leaving kudos.
> 
> For this chapter I've borrowed a few lines from Harry Potter book 4, chapter 27 and book 5, chapter 29.
> 
> I hope you like it. Let me know what you think :D

Harry couldn't help but smile as he packed his things. He was going to spend Christmas with his godfather. No more Dursleys, no more cupboards and barred windows. For the first time there were going to be presents under the tree for him. They were going to bake Christmas cookies, sing Christmas songs and do all the normal things families did on holidays. Sirius had told him they could do whatever he wanted and that was what Harry craved the most; a family of his own.

He would have to go back to school for the yule ball but he still got to spend one week with his godfather and was planning to make the most of it.

Harry put everything in his bag and stood there uncertainly. He wondered if he should take that photo with him and try to find answers to his questions, he might not get another chance anytime soon. Taking it out from under his pillow, he stared down at the two figures sitting together by the lake, one of them wearing a red tie and the other a green one. He had not put this photo in his album with the rest of his parent's photos. It seemed wrong to put a picture of Snape of all people next to his dad. The two of them had hated each other. Snape had been into dark magic and he use to spy on James and his friends, hoping to get them expelled. Harry could have sworn Snape had been as nasty and spiteful then as he was now; that is until he had seen this photo.

He looked down at picture that was causing him so much confusion and conflict. His mother grinned and waved enthusiastically at him while the scrawny awkward boy sitting next to her smiled shyly. The Snape in this photo was nothing like the intimidating man he had gotten to know at Hogwarts. He was no taller than his mother and the way he had hunched his shoulders made him seem small and vulnerable.

"Harry? Are you ready to go?" someone called, making Harry jump. Decision made, he put the photo in his pocket as Professor Lupin walked into his dorm room.

"I see you're all packed. Shall we?" asked the Professor with a kind smile.

"Yeah, let's go." said Harry, picking up his bag and shoving the photo deeper in his pocket.

……………………………………..

The first day of the Christmas holiday was amazing. They decorated the tree with fairies and glowing ornaments, backed cookies shaped like snitches and brooms and in the evening they all relaxed next to the fire with hot coco and their freshly made cookies. Granted, their backing had not turned out that impressive but some of it was eatable.

It would have been the perfect holiday if not for the picture burning a hole in his pocket. Harry had tried to hold off asking about his mother and Snape for as long as he could, determined not to ruin things but he couldn’t contain himself any longer. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself and turned to Sirius.

“Remember what you told me at the beginning of the year, that Karkaroff was probably a Death Eater?” he started, trying to keep his tone casual. “I’ve heard rumors about Snape, too. Do you thing he might be a Death Eater?”

Sirius blinked at him, lowering his coco. “I’m not sure, but I think could be.” he said, looking thoughtful. “Ever since I found out Snape was teaching at Hogwarts, I’ve wondered why Dumbledore hired him. Snape’s always been fascinated by the dark arts, he was famous for it at school. Slimy, oily, greasy-haired kid, he was. Snape knew more curses when he arrived at school than half the kids in seventh year, and he was part of a gang of Slytherins who nearly all turned out to be Death Eaters.” Sirius held up his fingers and began ticking off names. “Rosier and Wilkes - they were both killed by Aurors the year before Voldemort fell. The Lestranges - they’re a married couple - they’re in Azkaban. Avery – from what I’ve heard he wormed his way out of trouble by saying he’d been acting under the Imperius Curse - he’s still at large. But as far as I know, Snape was never even accused of being a Death Eater - not that that means much. Plenty of them were never caught. And Snape s certainly clever and cunning enough to keep himself out of trouble.”

“Did he have any other friends at school? Someone who didn’t turn out to be a Death Eater?” asked Harry, frowning.

“Not anyone that I can think of.”

“What about my mother?” he demanded.

Sirius’ eyes turned to twice their regular size at that and Professor Lupin almost choked on his drink.

“Where … where did you hear that? What did the greasy git tell you?”

“He didn’t tell me anything!” snapped Harry, he was angry now. “Dumbledore told me they were friends at school. He even gave me this photo.” he added, pulling the photo out of his pocket and holding it just out of his godfather’s reach.

“You’re right, Harry. Professor Snape used to be your mother’s best friend.” said Lupin quietly.

“No, he wasn’t! Lily just felt bad for him because no one else gave him a second look.”

“You just said he was friends with all of those Death Eaters!” Harry accused his godfather and turned to Lupin. “How could my mom be friends with Snape? He hated my dad, everyone knows that. You told me last year that he was jealous of James and Sirius and that he was trying to get you guys expelled. If I was in love with someone, I wouldn’t be friends with their enemies!”

Professor Lupin sighed and leaned forward in his chair. “Lily was friends with Severus before she fell in love with James. They were friends even before they came to Hogwarts.” he paused, as if trying to decide how much he wanted to reveal. “I wasn’t completely honest with you before, the truth is that … James was the one who was jealous of Severus, not the other way around.”

“That’s nonsense. James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other. James was everything Snape wanted to be - he was popular, he was good at Quidditch - good at pretty much everything. And Snape was just this little oddball who was up to his eyes in the dark arts, and James always hated the dark arts.” said Sirius, glaring at his friend.

Harry ignored his godfather, he had heard that before and he wasn’t sure it was true. “What do you mean?” he asked Lupin, swallowing thickly.

“It’s true that James and Severus didn’t get along from the beginning but things weren’t that bad until your father became interested in Lily. He began competing to get her attention. James and the rest of us were the ones that started the fights. Severus has never been the type to take abuse lying down and retaliated anyway he could.”

“My father would never do that!” snapped Harry, jumping to his feet. “Why are you taking Snape’s side? I thought you were my father’s friend.” he stormed out of the living room and ran upstairs, taking two steps at a time. He could hear Lupin and Sirius fighting all the way to his room.

Harry slammed the door to his room shut and sat on his bed. This could not be true. His father was not a bully. He had been a good man, everyone who had known him had said so. Everyone that is except for Snape. Getting fed up, Harry looked down at the photo he was still holding in his hands and tore it in half, separating the two friends. He sat there fuming until there was a knock at his door.

Professor Lupin opened the door but didn’t come in. He stood there for a few minutes, then sighed. “I’m sorry Harry. I didn’t mean to imply anything your father. He was one of the best men I’ve ever known. He was brave, loyal and a great wizard. But he didn’t know any better when he was a teenager. Your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did - everyone thought they were the height of cool - if they sometimes got a bit carried away -” he trailed off and sighed again. “Severus wasn’t any better. He gave pretty much as good as he got but … the thing is that he was never a trouble maker. He pretty much kept to himself and didn’t bother anyone unprovoked while the four of us were always playing pranks on the other students. We probably still hold some sort of record. I bet half of Flitch’s files are ours.”

“Fred and George play pranks all the time.” whispered Harry, defensively.

“Yes. Yes, they do.” agreed Lupin. He smiled, or attempted to at least; it didn’t reach his eyes. “Let’s go back down. Dinner must be ready by now.”

“Yeah. I’ll be right there.” said Harry. He looked down at the torn photo and put both pieces under his pillow before following his Professor down the stairs, trying not to think about the scrawny boy who now sat alone by the lake and had stopped smiling.


	21. Evidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry keeps digging in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. Thank you for reading and commenting :D
> 
> For this chapter, I borrowed a few lines from Harry potter book 4, chapter 23.

Harry didn’t enjoy his time at Grimmauld Place as much as he had hoped. In fact, the rest of the week was somewhat disappointing. The three of them did all the things on Harry’s list but there was some visible tension between them.

Sirius and Professor Lupin pretended that everything was fine but Harry could see that their argument had driven a wedge between them; that he had driven a wedge between them. Lupin stayed in his room most of the time and didn’t bring up the topic of Snape and Lily again. Harry did his best to do the same but Sirius seemed kin on talking about it anytime they were alone, which happened often. He would talk his ear off about all the awesome things the marauders had done together at school, leaving Pettigrew out of it, and listed everyone of Snape’s shortcomings.

Christmas day was no different. It started just fine. They woke up early and opened their presents. Then had a nice breakfast, talking about the yule ball and the new term and the next task of the Triwizard tournament. Sirius told him he was going to come this time, which warmed his heart. After breakfast, Professor Lupin went up to his room and the two of them stayed behind to clean up.

As if on cue, Sirius started talking about Snape.

Harry let him talk for a few minutes but couldn’t contain himself for long and asked the question that had been brewing in his head for the past few days. “If Snape was that horrible, why was my mom friends with him at all? You said she was popular and had a lot of other friends. The two of them were not even in the same house. Why would she stay friends with him?”

“Beats me. None of her friends understood why she’d even talk to him. If I had to guess, I’d say it was out of pity. He was always following your mom around, carrying her things for her, helping her with her homework and hanging on her every word. Lily was too kind to tell him off.” said Sirius, as he set the dishes to wash themselves. “Over time she realized that he wasn’t worth it. From the people he hung out with to the dark books he always had his nose in. She kept defending him though until one day, at the end of our fifth year, he called her a mudblood in front of everyone. She finally saw he was no good then. It didn’t matter how many times he apologized after that, how much he begged her to take him back. Lily would have none of it. She didn’t even …” Sirius trailed off abruptly when he saw Professor Lupin coming down the stairs, dressed in his worn teaching robes.

“Harry, get your things and say goodbye to your godfather, we ought to leave.” said the defense Professor with a wary smile.

Harry nodded. He gave Sirius a quick hug and picked up his presents before going to his room. He thought about what his godfather had told him as he packed. The whole thing made him confused and frustrated. He shoved his things into his bag with more force than was necessary and climbed down the stairs broodingly.

“Don’t worry Harry, we’ll see each other soon.” said Sirius, noticing his dark mood and pulled him into another hug.

“Yeah, I know.” he murmured and followed Lupin to the fireplace. They flooed to Hogsmeade and made their way to Hogwarts.

“So, you’re excited for the ball?” asked Lupin cheerfully.

“Yeah.” Harry answered with a shrug, studying his Professor thoughtfully

“I know you wanted to go with Cho, but Parvati’s a nice girl, too.”

“I guess.” agreed Harry, staring at his Professor harder, as if it would give him the answer to his questions.

Lupin sighed. “Is there something else you want to talk about?” he asked, frowning.

“Did Snape really call my mom a mudblood?” Harry blurted out without thinking.

Lupin stopped in his tracks, his frown deepening. “Did Sirius tell you this?”

“Is it true?”

“It is but … Snape wouldn’t have said that under normal circumstances. He cared for your mother, even after she stopped talking to him.”

“Why did he say it that one time, then?”

lupin sighed again, running a hand through his graying hair. “At that time, before the war, it was pretty common for purebloods to say things like that. And Snape being in Slytherin … the Slytherins used that word on an hourly basis, so …”

“And that makes it alright?” challenged Harry, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No, of course not. Like I said, Snape wouldn’t have said that to Lily under normal circumstances. When he said it, he was angry and humiliated … he was quick to anger when he was a teenager, more so than now if you could believe that and there were a lot of people that liked provoking him and getting a rise out of him. Anyways, he was really angry and took it out on her.” explained Lupin, there was a hint of shame in his voice. “I know I’ve said and done some regrettable things when I was pressured.”

Harry blinked in disbelief. He himself said things he didn’t mean to when he was angry, but Professor Lupin was never anything but calm and collected. “But you’re always nice to everyone!”

The defense Professor chuckled. “I suppose it’s easier when you’re an adult.” he said, squeezing Harry’s shoulder. “My point is, everyone makes mistakes sometimes. The important thing is what we learn from it. Now, we should really get going.” he added and started walking to the school.

Harry followed him, but he still had more questions. “Did he apologize?” he asked.

“What?”

“Snape, did he apologize to my mom after that?”

“Yes, he did. More than once, as far as I know.” said Lupin. “But they never mended their friendship.”

They both walked in silence the rest of the way to the school. Harry managed to find his friends in the common room.

They talked about their holiday. Harry told them about the things they had done with his godfather and they told him about the trick candy Fred and George had brought to the common room. They had lunch together and then went outside and to play in the snow with Ron’s brothers. 

Hermione chose to watch Harry and the Weasleys’ snowball fight rather than join in, and at five o’clock said she was going back upstairs to get ready for the ball.

“What, you need three hours?” said Ron, looking at her incredulously and paying for his lapse in concentration when a large snowball, thrown by George, hit him hard on the side of the head. “Who’re you going with?” he yelled after Hermione, but she just waved and disappeared up the stone steps into the castle.

“I’ll be right back.” Harry told Ron and ran after her. “Hermione, wait! I need to talk to you.” he said breathlessly when he caught up to her.

“If I wanted you to know who I’m going with, I would have told you already!” she snapped.

“It’s not that.” said Harry quickly, then paused. “When Ron and I were fighting … you thought I should forgive him, right?” he continued uncertainly.

“I think it was nice of you to forgive him that easily.”

“Would you have forgiven him if it was you?”

“I think I would have. You know how Ron is, he doesn’t mean half the things he says.” she said, then frowned. “You’re not fighting again, are you?”

“No, we’re not. I’m just wondering. What if it wasn’t Ron, what if it was someone nasty like … Malfoy. He’s always mean to you and calls you the M-word. Would you forgive him if he apologized to you?”

Hermione took a deep breath as if to gather her thoughts. “It depends. If he’s sincere and if he actually stops bothering us, I think I might forgive him. I mean, he’s a real bastard but I suppose people can change.” she said finally. “Is that all? I really have to go get ready.”

“Yeah, thanks Hermione.” murmured Harry and watched her hurry up the stairs before going back to the grounds.

………………………………………

Later that evening, Harry sat in an empty classroom, feeling his whole world had turned upside down. If he had just left it alone, if he had believed everything his godfather had told him and hadn’t gone looking for proof … it was too late now.

He had been thinking about Snape and his parents all through the ball. Seeing Snape and Karkaroff talking made him even more determined to discover the truth. He couldn’t trust anything anyone had told him since their words contradicted each other. He needed actual proof, he decided. Lupin had told him something about half of Filch’s records being about the marauders and their pranks, so that’s where Harry went to find actual evidence. After his talk with Cedric, he broke into the caretaker’s office and stole the files from his parents’ school years.

And here it was in balck ink, proof that his father and his godfather had been bullies.


	22. The Amber Necklace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus receives a message from Romania.

Severus had never been particularly fond of Christmas. The decorations, the singing and mingling, it was all too jolly for his tastes. The one thing he liked about it was the snow. Not that he had ever been able to enjoy it fully at Hogwarts. He couldn’t very well run around among the kids and build a snowman. The closest he got was to look out the window and admire the white cloak of winter that covered the grounds from inside the castle. It was better that way anyhow; he couldn’t tolerate the cold.

He didn’t use to indulge that much when he was younger either. He was always afraid of acting silly in front of the other students and his clothes were never suitable for the weather. Every time he set foot outside, he’d come back soaked to the bone, with icy water in his shoes and a runny nose. That’s why he spent his winters as a Hogwarts student in and out of the infirmary, coughing, feverish and miserable.

Now, he could afford warm clothes but could no longer afford to be seen playing around in the snow. Instead, he often found himself perched in the staffroom sitting next to the window with a hot drink. Generally he’d prefer his own rooms but as amusing as it was to look at the frozen lake from the windows down in the dungeons, he liked the snow better. Unfortunately, that meant he had to socialize with his colleagues more than necessary. His fellow Professors were incredibly insufferable around the holidays. They didn’t have the same reservations about acting in a less than dignified manner it seemed and their juvenile mood usually dragged on until after the holiday was over, much like the adolescents they were in charge of.

This year, staying in the staffroom also meant dealing with Moody and that sickening smirk of his which was ten times worse than the antics of all of his other colleagues put together. And then there was Karkaroff and his whining. He was annoying the hell out of Severus, not to mention the sense of dread that filled his chest at the sight of the man and the thought of the dark Lord returning.

With all that going on, Severus was at his wits’ end the evening after the yule ball. He locked himself in his office and found something to occupy himself with.

He cursed under his breath when someone knocked at the door and sighed. “Enter” he ordered.

“Hello, Professor.” said someone in a masculine voice.

“Mr. Weasley.” murmured Severus, looking up from his work.

“You seem busy.” stated the boy, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

“That’s because I am.” he said but put his quill down anyways. “Did you have a nice holiday?”

“Yeah, it was fine. What about you? Did you have fan at the dance?”

“I was mostly chaperoning. So it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.” answered Severus. Weasley only nodded in reply. “Did you spend Christmas with your family?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.

“No, I was in Romania.” answered Weasley, sounding nervous.

“Did you come to England only to see me?” said Severus, his eyebrows rising.

“Yes, there’s something I wanted to tell you.” started Weasley, “You know how I told you about the elves that live in Romania? Well, there are people that do business with them and I … I happened to talk to one of them …”

“What did you do Weasley? Out with it!” snapped Severus impatiently.

Weasley paled and took a step back. “Nothing, I was just talking to him and I mentioned that I know you. And apparently he talked to the elves about you.” he said.

Severus stared at the boy as he tried to make sense of his story. He frowned as he noticed the dragon keeper was biting his lips. “Weasley, are you scared of me?” he asked slowly.

Weasley swallowed. “Yeah, a little.” he admitted. “I’m sorry. I was terrified of you in potions class and I guess you can still scare me.”

Severus sighed and ran a hand over his face in frustration. “Just sit down and start from the beginning.” he said warily.

“It’ll help if you stop calling me Weasley. It makes me feel like I’m your student again.”

“Fine. Tell me what happened, Charles.”

The redhead smiled a little at hearing his name and finally sat down. “This guy, Tom, he has an apothecary. He buys plants and herbs from the elves and makes potion ingredients out of them. We buy most of our potions from him. He of course knows you by reputation as a potions Master and he’s heard of your inheritance. I mentioned that I had seen you when I went there shopping and the next time I saw him, he said the elves have a message for you.” he explained and took something out of his robes’ pocket. “They said you might be related to them. And if you wear this around your neck while you stand in the forest, they’ll come meet you.” he continued and put the object on his desk.

It was a necklace woven from leaves with a large engraved amber in the middle. Feeling a strong pull Severus reach out to pick it up but stopped himself mid-motion. “You just took this, without question? It could be a cursed object.” he said tensely.

Weasley shook his head. “It’s not cured. All the elves wear something like that around their neck. They make it themselves. They can’t make anything that would hurt someone else.”

“Not all curse objects are meant to harm others physically.”

“It’s not cursed. I’ve had it with me for a few days. And like I said, I’ve seen them wear these.” insisted the boy. “Are you going to use it?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because … they could be your family. If it was me, I would want to get to know them.”

“As it happens, I’m not as sentimental as you.” said Severus. To his horror he realized he was holding the necklace now and hurriedly shoved it into his desk drawer, his hands feeling empty without it.

The boy gave him an odd look, frowning. “Even if you don’t care about that, I think you should still meet them and hear them out. They can help you understand you elf side better and get in touch with your powers. Elves are more complicated than most people think. There’s a lot we don’t know about them.” he reasoned.

“I must admit, you have a point there.” murmured Severus. “I shall think about it, Charles.” he added and ran a hand through his ever growing hair.

Weasley smiled again. “So, what’s all that?” he asked, pointing to the books and parchments lying on his desk.

“Someone gave me this book for the holiday.” answered Severus pointing to his new potions book.

“I bet you get a lot of books for Christmas.”

“I do. But this one is not much of a gift. I’m supposed to write a review on it.” he said, then gave his young companion a suggestive look. “I’m not in a hurry to finish it, so if you have more enjoyable activities in mind I’ll be happy to indulge you.”

“As a matter of fact I do.” said Weasley. He stood up and stepped behind the desk before attacking his mouth.

Severus kissed him back and ran his hands up and down the board shoulders, his fingers still tingling from the magic of the necklace.


	23. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie unravels the potion Masters' old wounds.

When Severus woke up, he found himself alone in bed. He stared at where Weasley had fallen asleep beside him for a moment, then sighed. It was a relief, really. Last time it had been awkward to see the boy cuddling him. All the same, a part of him felt disappointed.

Getting out of bed, Severus shrugged all thoughts of his young companion aside and went about his morning routine. He took a quick shower, brushed his teeth and combed his hair. He was just about to get dressed when he heard sounds coming from the other room. Perhaps Weasley was not gone after all or was it Moody again, invading his privacy?

Severus secured his bathrobe around his waist and picked up his wand before stepping into the living room. Once he saw a half-naked redhead standing in his kitchen he lowered his wand but frowned, unsure of what to make of the situation.

“What the hell are you doing?” he croaked, his voice hoarse from sleep.

Weasley turned around and smiled, giving Severus a clear view of his firm abs. “Morning. I was in the mood for some omelette, so I got some things from the house elves. You hungry?” he said cheerfully.

Severus just stared at him. The boy was making breakfast. That was too intimate. They had ordered food from Hogwarts’ kitchens before but doing the actual cooking was another story.

“Something wrong?” asked Wealey, frowning.

“I don’t think …” Severus started, intending to tell him off but for some reason couldn’t get the words out. The boy was far too kind and sincere compared to the people Severus usually dealt with. It didn’t matter how uncomfortable he was with this arrangement, he couldn’t bring himself to hurt someone like that. He cleared him throat. “I smell bacon. I’ve told you before, I don’t eat meat.” he said finally.

Weasley’s features relaxed. “I know, I didn’t put bacon in yours. It’s just vegetables, cheese and egg. You do eat eggs, right?”

“Yes, thank you.” murmured Severus, accepting the plate the boy was holding out to him.

Weasley plated his own omelette and sat down at the small table, where he had already set up the tea.

Severus hesitated for a moment before joining him. “So, do you cook much?” he asked, gingerly taking a bit of his breakfast.

“Not that often. But I’ve picked up a few things from my mom.”

“This isn’t bad.” said Severus, pouring himself some tea.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you, how did you get that scar?” asked Weasley, pointing to where his leg was poking through his bathrobe.

Severus resisted the urge to straighten his robe and cover up his leg. “It’s a bite mark, from Hagrid’s dog.” he answered, taking another bite of his eggs.

“Fang did that?!” exclaimed Wealey, almost choking on his tea.

Severus rolled his eyes. “You really think I’d let that drool covered mutt do something like that to my leg? It was the Cerberus, Fluffy I think was his name.”

“Oh, you mean the one that was guarding the Philosopher's Stone? What happened? Why did he bite you?”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Haven’t you already heard the story from your brother and his friend Potter?”

“I’ve never heard this part.” insisted Weasley.

Severus ran a hand through his hair, surprised at the young man’s eagerness. “You probably know that Quirrell freed that troll at the Halloween party.” Weasley nodded. “While the other teachers were busy sending the students away, I went straight to the third floor where the stone was hidden. I knew the whole stunt was supposed to distract everyone. When I got there, all I found was a very angry Cerberus; Quirrell’s doing no doubt. I’m sure you can guess what happened next. I was holding back because I didn’t want to harm the dog … and it’s not easy keeping track of all three heads at once.”

“Wow! That’s incredible.” said Weasley. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell anyone. If it was me, I’d be telling that story every chance I got.”

“I did tell a couple of people.” murmured Severus, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. He wasn’t used to getting credit for his bravery.

“So, you wouldn’t mind if I …”

“I’d prefer it if you keep it to yourself.”

“Alright.” agreed Weasley, a hint of disappointment in his voice, then frowned. “You said you didn’t want to harm the dog. Have you always been unable to cause harm, even while you were taking the cloaking potion?”

“It wasn’t that I was unable to harm anyone. I didn’t like to cause pain if I could help it but I did sometimes. I don’t think I’ve ever hurt an animal though, that’s plane cruelty. And the Cerberus was only doing his job, not to mention we needed him to guard the stone.” Severus explained. Wealey was giving him an odd look; as if he was a mystery the boy was trying to unravel. “Tell me, Charles. How come you didn’t spend Christmas with your family?” he asked, turning the tables.

Wealsey blinked at the change of subject. He sipped his tea before answering, as if trying to decide how much he wanted to reveal. “I was working for most of the holiday. To be honest, I could have made time for a visit but my family gets overbearing sometimes. Specially my mom.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were close with your mother.” he commented.

“We are close, it’s just … She can be a bit controlling. It didn’t bother me when I was younger, but now it’s different. I guess she doesn’t want me to grow up. You know how it is with moms, don’t you?”

“Not really.” said Severus. If anything, his mother had never wanted him to act like a child. “My mom died when I was about to graduate Hogwarts anyways.”

“Were you two close?”

“Yes, we were. She wasn’t warm and affectionate like Molly but she did her best to take care of me.” said Severus quietly. He thought a lot about his mother these days. “She didn’t always make the best decisions but …” he trailed off, feeling a lump in his throat.

“I’m sorry. It must have been terrible, losing her at such a young age.” said Weasley, squeezing his hand.

“It was a long time ago.” he said dismissively. He had no idea how they had ended up talking about him again. “Thank you for breakfast.” he added, standing up.

“No problem.” murmured Weasley, taken aback. “Is it alright if I take a shower?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Go ahead.” answered Severus and started tidying up.

…………………………………………………

Weasley left eventually and Severus felt oddly lonely and deserted. It was partially due to the season, he knew. The plants had become less talkative and lively as the weather got colder and their wariness was rubbing off on him. 

Severus focused on writing the book review to avoid his thoughts from wondering but it was finished too quickly. He’d collect the students’ holiday homework soon, he told himself, and there’d be plenty to occupy himself with until spring came again. 

The thought didn’t do much to lift his spirit though and Severus finally gave in and took the necklace out of his desk’s drawer. He stared at the amber, tracing the patterns inside the smooth surface with his fingertips. He had always felt isolated and disconnected, much like the small leaves that were trapped in the amber. He wasn’t naïve enough to think he belonged with the elves, but there was a flicker of hope that meeting them could make him begin to understand how to find his way out; to be free.

Before he could change his mind, he pocketed the necklace and put on his cloak. It was time to get some answers.


	24. The Elves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus uses the amber necklace to call the elves.

Severus made his way outside the castle in long strides. By the time he reached the grounds, his face was flushed and his heart was pounding in his chest. He was forced to lower his pace since the grounds were covered in a thick layer of snow but his determination didn’t waver.

He went deep into the forest before finally coming to a halt. He then took the necklace out of his robes’ pocket and put it on without hesitation. The necklace reached his chest and the amber started pulsing, as if it had suddenly come to life. Severus looked down at the stone in awe and took it in his hands. The pulsing came from the small leaves inside the amber, he realized. It made the stone warm up gradually, soothing his cold hands.

Severus stood there, feeling the pulse in his fingers, in his ears, in his chest. The trees surrounding him were moving with the rhythm. The pulsing got lauder and lauder and when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore it stopped and Severus was left in silence. Holding his breath, he stood there motionless waiting for something to happen. The minutes passed by and everything stayed still and so did Severus. He stood there as the cold wind blew, chilling him to the bone and as the sun moved to the middle of the sky behind the clouds. He needed answers and he wasn’t going to move until he got them.

It had just began to snow when the pulsing started again and the trees closer to him began to shake. Severus took out his wand as the shaking got violent and narrowed his eyes.

From each tree trunk emerged a shadow and the shadows turned to tall slender figures, their hair varying from different shades of blue and purple. There was fourteen of them. They all had large noses, pale skin and light eyes that reflected their hair color. The one that looked the oldest stepped forward.

“Greetings, Severus.” he said with a slight bow. The others copied him. “I’m glad you decided to contact us. I must apologize for the delay. We came as soon as we felt your call. Romania is too far away from Ireland and I’m afraid it took a while for the magic to travel.” continued the man, studying him with sharp eyes.

“Why did you want to meet me?” asked Severus, his grip tightening around his wand. There was too many of them and it unnerved him.

“I need to know if we are related.” answered the man, stepping closer. “My name is Vulas Thedithas. My brother Vulmer fell in love with a witch. I think you might be their son.”

Severus tensed as Vulas stepped even closer. He raised his wand as the man put a finger under his chin and lifted his head. “What do you think you’re doing?” rasped Severus, locking eyes with the elf. He could see his own eyes reflected in the clear, almost colorless eyes. 

“Vulmer told me that she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. That her hair and eyes were as dark as the night … just like yours.”

“That doesn’t prove anything.” snapped Severus, taking a step backwards and releasing himself from the man’s hold.

“Her name was Eileen. Eileen Prince. That’s your mother, isn’t it?” asked Vulas but didn’t wait for him to response, as if he could see right through him. “Eileen lived in a small country house in Wales. One day she just disappeared. I helped Vulmer look for her, turned out she had moved to Manchester and gotten married to someone named Tobias Snape. That was the end of their affair.”

Severus felt lightheaded. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with chilly air. Tobias, that god awful excuse for a human being was not his real father. Eileen had left her family and married a drunken penniless muggle to keep him secret. Had Tobias known? Was that why he treated him like he was dirt? “And where is this brother of yours? Why didn’t he come himself?” he asked when he managed to get a hold of his emotions.

“Vulmer is dead, Severus. He died along with the rest of our family when the death eaters attacked our village.” answered Vulas, his voice cracking. “We are the only ones that survived.” he added, pointing to the other elves that were quietly watching their exchange.

“How … how did he die?”

Vulas closed his eyes in pain. “They came at night, sneaking in without us knowing and they … they set our fields on fire. Voldemort knew we would never side with him. We’re farmers, life is precious to us. We can’t stand aside and let people suffer and die no matter who they are. Voldemort knew this and he found a sure way to crush us.” he paused, his eyes shining with tears. “We woke up to wild fire swallowing our fields. The trees, the flowers, the grass … they were all burning. Everyone was running frantic, trying to save the plants. I, however was in charge of the children. I could see the flames surrounding my people, devouring them. It took me all of ten minutes to take the young elves to safety and go back. When I got there, they were all dead and there was nothing left but ash.”

Severus felt hot tears on his cheeks. He was shaking from head to toe. It was the most horrifying thing he had ever heard. He had never known how it had happened. He had been in school then and had not taken the mark yet. The elder death eaters always went on and on about how helpless and pathetic the elves had been but never told the rest of them what they had done.

“These are the children I took away.” Vulas was saying, pointing at his companions again. “Had I known about you then, I would have taken you as well. It’s too late now, but I thought you deserved to know the truth. Is there something you’d like to know about your father?”

Severus frowned. He had spent thirty four years thinking his father was a worthless drunk. The fact that another man had conceived him didn’t seem to matter now. But there were other things he needed to know. “What can you tell me about elf magic?” he asked.

Vulas’ face hardened. “We do not share information with outsiders. You may look similar to us but you are no elf. Were you an elf, you wouldn’t be able to do magic with a wand. Like I said, if we knew about you when you were an innocent child, we could have taken you in and shown you our ways. Instead you have grown up with humans. You’re one of them in magic and mind.” he said and gestured to the others. “If you want to talk more about your father, you can call me again. Goodbye now, Severus.” he added as they all turned to approach the trees they had emerged from.

“Fine! Leave. I don’t need your help.” snapped Severus, his chest clenching from the rejection. “I may not be an elf but I’m more than any of you will ever be! I’m a wizard and a healer.”

That made them stop in their tracks. “What?” whispered Vulas, his eyes widening.

Severus knew he had reviled too much but couldn’t help the sliver of childish satisfaction he felt at their shock. He turned on his heels and marched away.

“Wait!” called Vulas. “I said wait.”

Severus ignored the man and didn’t slow down but was forced to stop when his path was blocked. It happened in a matter of seconds, a massive wall of roots and leaves grew out of the ground and stood tall in front of him. He turned to change directions, but the elves materialized out of the trees again and circled him. Severus tried to move passed them but them wouldn’t budge. “Get out of my way!” he snapped, raising his wand. His threatening voice didn’t have any affect. 

Feeling helpless Severus turned to the mass of greens blocking the path out of the forest, but couldn’t think of a way to get passed it without ripping it apart.

“You can’t harm them. You have elf magic and it’s strong enough that doesn’t let you cause harm.” observed Vulas. “We can’t do the kind of magic witches and wizards do. You’re right. You’re more than any of us; your magic seems to go both ways.”

“What do you want from me? This is about my healing ability, isn’t it?”

“I don’t want anything from you. We’re not like humans who do things for the benefit. Hearing about your ability convinced me that you have elf magic and lots of it, it seems. If you’re going to live among humans, you need help to protect yourself from them.”

“I can take care of myself just fine. I don’t need you.” said Severus through greeted teeth.

Vulas raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you want to learn to do that?” he asked, pointing to the green block he had conjured.

Severus stared at it for a moment. In the end, his curiosity and thirst for knowledge overcame his pride. “You’re willing to teach me? What would I have to do in return?”

“I will teach you without payment. Call me in a few days in dark of the night.” said Vulas and raised his hand, causing the roots to move back to the ground. “Farewell.” he added with a nod.

With that the elves left one by one, sinking back into the trees. Severus stood there alone for a few more minutes before the harsh weather made him retreat inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used "fantasynamegenerators.com" to get the elves' names.


	25. Midnight Patrol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus starts learning about elf magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the late update, guys. I hope you like this chapter. Let me know what you think.
> 
> I've borrowed some of the lines for this chapter from Harry Potter book 4, chapter 25.

Severus focused on a point on the ground. He could feel the vibration of magic underneath his outstretched hand but it refused to bend to his will.

“Perhaps we ought to take a break and talk.” commented Vulas, startling him. The man had been sitting motionless for the last few minutes.

“No, I need to keep practicing.” said Severus stubbornly.

Vulas put his aged hand on top of his and the vibration stopped. “You’re trying to force the magic to obey you. That’s not going to work. The nature is far larger than you and I. You’re the one that needs to get in the tune with the nature, not the other way around.”

Severus sighed and let his hand drop. He leaned against a tree and started into the night, considering the man’s words. “It’s habit I suppose. A wizard’s magic comes from within.”

“Elf magic is inside you as well, only it’s not overly strong on its own. It does however enable you to connect with nature. If you give yourself fully and lay yourself bare, it’ll grant you access. Your magic is trying to make the connection, why do you keep fighting it?”

“How am I supposed to put myself in the mercy of something I don’t even understand?”

“That’s where trust comes in. Nature is our home, it blesses us with food and water and keeps us grounded. There’s nothing more trustworthy in the world. Open your heart and listen and the nature will listen back.”

“I understand that, but it’s not easy for me.” said Severus after a few minutes of silence.

“Shall we try again?” asked Vulas with an encouraging smile.

Severus nodded and took a deep breath before getting into position.

………………………………….

It was quite late when they decided to call it a night but Severus didn’t feel tired. He had finally managed to connect with the magic of the forest and was filled with a sense of peace and joy, as if a fog had been lifted from his soul. He still needed time to learn how to use the connection of course but he was positive he would get a hang of it soon enough.

Once inside the castle, Severus made his way to the staircase, eager to retreat to his quarters. He was half way there when he heard a banging noise which was soon followed by an incredibly high pitched wailing. His peace shattering, the potion master rushed down the stairs to find the source of the horrid noise. The wailing stopped a few minutes later and he saw Filch standing on the landing in his flannel dressing gown holding a large golden egg, with Mrs. Norris standing next to his leg.

“I’m coming to get you, Peeves… You’ve gone and stolen a Triwizard clue, Peeves… Dumbledore’ll have you out of here for this, you filthy, pilfering poltergeist…” the caretaker was saying.

“Filch? What’s going on?” he asked.

“It’s Peeves, Professor,” Filch whispered malevolently. “He threw this egg down the stairs.”

Severus frowned, he was about to climb down the last few steps when he walked into something solid and fell backwards. He heard a yelp and saw a head and a shoulder floating in front of him. “Potter!” he spat, then reached forward and yanking the invisibility cloak off of the teenager.

The boy was sprawled on the stairs, the only thing keeping him from falling down was his leg which was stuck in the trick step.

Severus pocketed the cloak and rose to his feet. “Insolent child! Out after curfew again, causing trouble. How typical.” he hissed and went down a few steps, then grabbed Potter’s shoulders and lifted him. “Sit.” he ordered and reached down to free the boy’s leg.

“You’re in trouble now, you little jerk!” said Filch nastily. “I’m taking you right to the Headmaster.”

“No, he has to go to the infirmary. I think he’s twisted his ankle.” Severus told him, then turned to Potter. “Ten points from Gryffindor for roaming the halls after curfew and rest assure, the Headmaster will be hearing of this. The rules of this school apply to everyone, celebrity Triwizard champion or otherwise. What were you doing out of bed at this hour?”

“What were YOU doing up?” Potter shot back, apparently overcoming his initial shock at being discovered.

Severus opened his mouth to scowl the child but closed it as he heard the familiar clunk of a wooden leg hitting the stone floor. This night was just getting better and better.

“That’s a good question.” said Moody, taking in the scene. His magical eye was moving frantically about the staircase. “Were you out hugging the trees and planting flowers again?” he added with a smirk, getting closer.

Moody’s tone was arrogant and taunting as ever but there was a hint of nervousness somewhere underneath. Severus pulled himself to his full height, watching the man carefully. “I’ve taken to planting deadly ones lately. I hope you find the time to uncover them sometime.” he said with as much venom as he could muster. “I told you to sit down Potter!” he hissed at the Gryffindor who had reached down and was now pretending to tie his shoe laces.

The Auror chuckled. “Thank you Snape, I needed the laugh. Why don’t you go to bed and let me handle Mr. Potter here. I’ll even escort you to your rooms, make sure you don’t run into boggarts.” he motioned for the boy to follow him.

Potter made to move, relief evident on his face. Severus put a hand on his shoulder to keep him where he was. “I have been a Professor at this school for fourteen years, I can handle this just fine. I’m also a head of house, which means I’m the one in the position of authority here.”

“You’re not MY head of house.” protested Potter.

“Five points from Gryffindor for disrespect, now come along. Oh, and speaking of Professor McGonagall, Moody, I’ll make sure to inform her that you were at the dungeons when you were supposed to be patrolling the upper levels of the school.” he said and took the hold of the boy’s elbow, helping him to his feet.

“I have permission to search every inch of this school as you well know. Auror privilege, and all that.”

“Good, then you’ll have no problem assisting Mr. Finch in looking for Peeves.” he said with a smirk and turned to the caretaker. “I’ll take the egg.”

“No! This is evidence of Potter’s rule breaking.”

“It’ll be safe with me.” insisted Severus.

Filch handed the egg over reluctantly. Severus put it under his arm and guided Potter down the stairs.

“This is not the way to the infirmary.” said Potter, frowning.

“We’re going to my office and flooing from there, unless you want to go all the way up on that leg.” 

Neither of them talked the rest of the way. The boy was shivering slightly but Severus paid it no mind, it was his own fault for coming out in his pajamas after hours. He came to a halt as he reached his office. The torches were lit and a cupboard door was ajar; somebody has been searching it. He put the egg on his desk and turned to Potter. “Were you snooping in my office?”

“It wasn’t me!”

Severus narrowed his eyes. The boy was as easy to read as a book, he knew something. “Who was it then?” he snapped.

“I’m not telling you.” said the boy, his tone defiant.

“It was your new pal Moody, wasn’t it? You’re just like your father, surrounding yourself with arrogant big headed bullies.”

The boy went pale at that. “He’s tones better than you. You’re a coldhearted git and everyone knows it! I can’t believe my mom was ever friends with someone like you.”

“What? Where did you hear that?”

“Professor Dumbledore told me. I bet she just pitied you. I bet you were as big a git then as you are now.”

It was Severus’ turn to pale. He stared at those hateful green eyes, feeling all of his strength leaving him. He lit the fireplace with a flick of his wand and grabbed the boy by the elbow once more. He was not going to let the little bastard get to him, he was going to keep his composure and deliver him to Poppy. He dumped a handful of floo powder into the flames and yelled out his destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In chapter 25 of Harry Potter the Goblet of Fire, Harry had gone to the perfect's bathroom to figure out the clue from the golden egg (based on the tip Cedric gave him). On his way out, he's looking at the map and sees Barty Crouch in Snape's office. He thinks it's Crouch senior, but it's actually his son who's pretending to be Moody. Harry's going down to the dungeons to figure out what the man is doing. He's distracted and gets stuck in the trick step, dropping the egg which opens and makes noise.
> 
> In canon, Severus is in his quarters. He wants to know where the noise is coming from and on his way discovers that someone had been in his office, so he's actually going up. Here, in this fic he's outside the castle and moving down the stairs and therefore runs into Harry, who's stuck in one of the stairs. In canon, Harry remains hidden under the cloak (with some help from Moody who sees through the cloak).


	26. The Old Man's Scheme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus confronts Dumbledore.

Poppy’s office was empty when they came out of the fireplace. Severus turned the lights on with a flick of his wand and dragged Potter outside. “Sit down and don’t dare move.” he hissed and pointed to the empty beds lining the walls.

Potter frown but didn’t protest, lowering himself on the closest bed. Severus glared at him for a moment before going back to Poppy’s office and knocking on the door to her personal quarters.

“What’s wrong?” asked the mediwitch as she walked out of her rooms, dressed in her nightgown. “Were you out in the forest again? I knew you’d manage to get yourself hurt soon enough!” she scowled, checking him over.

Severus stepped out of her reach, annoyed “Stop talking to me like I’m a child. I’m not the one who’s hurt, it’s that sodding boy Potter.” he snapped. “And for the record I’m not some imbecile incapable of …”

“Fine, fine” grumbled Poppy, walking around him and into the hospital. “What happened to Mr. Potter?”

“It’s his ankle. He was out doing god knows what and got his leg stuck in one of the steps and twisted his ankle.”

“I was fine until you ran into me!”

“I beg your pardon, Potter. I should have checked for invisible brats blocking my way before daring to climb down the stairs.” he sneered.

“Invisible?” murmured Poppy with a raised eyebrow.

Severus ignored the question. “I’ll leave him in your capable hands, Madam Pomfrey. Make sure he doesn’t go patrolling the corridors again.” he said and turned to leave.

“Wait!” called Potter, looking panicked. “Where is my …” he started to ask, intending to inquire about the invisibility cloak was no doubt.

“Yes?”

“My … my egg. It’s the clue for the next challenge. You can’t keep it.”

“I WILL be keeping it, tonight. Tomorrow you can go to your Head of House and retrieve it while make arrangement for your detention.” said Severus. “You didn’t think you’d get away without a detention, did you?” he added with a smirk at seeing the boy’s expression and turned on his heels, heading for his office.

His amusement didn’t last long and his thoughts turned to the events of the night as he strode down the corridors. He didn’t stop moving once he was back in his office and paced the length of the room, trying to sort through what had happened. Someone had been in his office and by the looks of things had stolen something from his store, he needed to find out what was exactly taken. He was almost certain it was Moody. The man had been in the dungeons; that much was obvious. Potter was another possible suspect. It wouldn’t be the first time the boy had stolen ingredients. But the way Potter had been stuck in the step indicated he had been in the process of going down in the direction of his office, not going up and fleeing the scene. He had dropped the egg when his leg had gone into the step. That’s why Severus had heard a banging noise first and then the egg had opened and the wailing started. Potter knew what was going on. Was it possible that Potter and Moody had planned everything together? Were they supposed to meet at the dungeons? Perhaps Moody had promised to help figure out the clue from the egg. That would explain why Potter had brought the egg with him. Severus suspected the Auror had put Potter’s name in the goblet in the first place. If that was true, then he wanted the boy to stay in the competition and was helping him get passed the challenges.

With a sigh, Severus dropped into his chair and put his head in his hands. He was going overboard and he knew it, he just didn’t want to think about what Potter had said about Lily. It shouldn’t have hurt that much, he knew he wasn’t in love with Lily. But she had been his friend and he had thought he was in love with her ever since he was eighteen and conjured his patronus for the first time. Lily had been James Potter’s girlfriend at the time and Severus had been on his way to becoming a Death Eater, thinking he didn’t have a way out and knowing Lily would never return his feelings. She had been interested in Potter since the beginning. She always said she wasn’t but her actions had not quite matched her words. She told Potter off whenever he stepped out of line with his pranks but she never reported the marauders to the teachers or got them in trouble even when she was a perfect. And there was the way she blushed and those small smiles on her lips whenever Potter flirted with her. She had smiled that day by the lake too and that had been the last straw for him. He had gone in full blown rage and called her a mudblood. She never forgave him but once Potter started acting a little more mature she had started dating him like nothing had happened. Potter and his friends never stopped pranking him and they had never seen fit to apologize and make amends to all the people they had made fun of and bothered since their first year. It hadn’t mattered to her because Lily had been in love with Potter all along. They had gotten married right out of school. Meanwhile, Severus’ patronus had stayed the same, even after her death, making him believe he was in love with her and doomed to suffer her loss for the rest of his life.

Potter’s words had hurt because the boy was right. It was all Dumbledore’s doing. The manipulative old man was always up to something. First he asked Severus to be nicer to Potter and now this. Feeling suddenly wary, Severus stood up and started going through his stores, trying to figure out what was missing.

…………………………………….

The next day, Severus found himself in the Headmaster’s office. He used to go along with whatever decision Dumbledore made in the past but things were different now and he wasn’t going to stand the man’s attempts at manipulation any more. “You told Potter that I was friends with his mother.” he said accusingly.

The Headmaster looked up from his work. “Yes, I did. And I also gave him the photo of you and Lily.”

“Photo? What photo?” Severus demanded. “Why in the world did you have a photo of the two of us?”

Dumbledore sighed. “I found it at Lily and James’ house in Godric’s Hollow after their death. Harry came to my office while I was going through some old things and saw it. He wanted to know who was in the photo with his mother.” he explained, his blue eyes twinkling.

Lily had kept a photo of him in the house she shared with Potter? It had probably ended up there by mistake, thought Severus. He tried to push the photo out of his mind and focus on the reason he was there. He wasn’t going to let the old man get away with this. “Don’t play coy, Albus. You set Potter up, leaving the photo on your desk for him to find. I’m not a fourteen year old brat you can fool that easily. You kept your mouth shut for almost four years, why would you tell him now?”

“I don’t think you’ve ever been a fourteen year old brat. You acted like you were forty since your first year at Hogwarts.”

“Answer the question!”

“I had hoped if Harry knew about your friendship, he’d start to realize he has more in common with you than he thinks, since you both love Lily. I was hoping you and Harry could get closer and develop a better relationship.”

Severus snorted, remembering the way the boy had acted. “Do your schemes ever work, old man?” he sneered.

Albus seemed amused instead of offended. “They work out most of the times.” he said with a smile, then his expression turned more serious. “Harry needs some guidance in his life. He needs someone he can trust. You keep telling me that he gets himself in trouble because he jumps in dangerous situation instead of letting the adults handle things. If there was an adult he could trust, things would not get out of hand. Don’t you agree?”

“I believe what I’ve been telling you is that the boy’s a big headed, arrogant moron who acts out in order to get other people’s attention. In any case, isn’t this what Lupin is here for? Coddling Potter and keeping an eye on him? And what about his goddamned godfather? Isn’t it his job to keep his ward in line?”

“Remus and Sirius are indeed there for Harry but he can always use more responsible adult in his life. He’s a young boy who’s burdened with too much responsibility. When Voldemort comes back to power, Harry’s going to be even more vulnerable.”

“Why now?” Severus asked again. “You knew I hated him all along. You’ve never urged the two of us to get closer. Yet you made me promise to be kinder to Potter and then set the boy up with that photo. What happened all of the sudden that changed your mind?”

Albus was quiet for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “You’re right. I knew you two didn’t have a good relationship from the beginning. While I never encouraged the hostility between you, I didn’t do much to make things better either. You were supposed to go back to spying and the animosity between you could have been useful. It would have made it easier for people to believe you were loyal to Lord Voldemort and if you got close to Harry there was always the possibility that Voldemort would order you to use your influence on Harry in some way.” he said. “I know you’ve been ignoring Harry all year as way of honoring your promise. Why can’t you find it in your heart to show him some kindness? He’s only a child.”

“Has it ever occurred to you that I may not be capable of something like that?” retorted Severus.

“I don’t believe that. It may not come easy to you but I’ve seen you make the effort with the Slytherin students.”

“That’s different.” whispered Severus, shifting in his chair uncomfortably. “I don’t mollycoddle them. I care for them and look after them because they’re my responsibility, nothing more.”

“I don’t expect you to mollycoddle Harry but try to take him under your wing. He needs you. He’s an orphaned child. He grew up in a house with his aunt and uncle who resented him. His godfather has spent most of his adult life in Azkaban and has no experience with taking care of a teenager. He may not be in your House but he’s still one of your students. He’s not arrogant and spoiled like you think, he has a kind heart and if you look close enough you can see Lily …”

“You always mange to get her into this!” snapped Severus, raising to his feet. “It’s pointless talking to you.” he mumbled under his breath and turned to leave the office.

“About Harry’s detentions …”

Severus stopped in his tracks and faced the Headmaster again. “I’ve already had this discussion with Minerva. I don’t care that Potter is the school champion and that the second task is in a few days, he should have thought of that before he broke the school rules.”

“Quite right.” agreed Albus, his eyes twinkling again. “He’ll serve detention every night this week and you’re going to supervise.”

It was not a suggestion. Severus pursed his lips in annoyance but nodded.

“Do you have his cloak?”

“Yes. It’s confiscated and it’ll remain in my possession until the end of the term.” said Severus firmly and turned to leave before the Headmaster could object farther.


	27. Olive Branch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus attempts to treat Potter like his Slytherins.

Severus gathered the spare cauldrons and put them over the burners one by one, then filled them with water and waited for them to boil. Tonight was his first detention with Potter and he needed to make up some work for the boy. He’d never let any of the students touch his own cauldrons, dirty or otherwise.

The meeting with Dumbledore had not gone the way he had wanted. He had intended to make the Headmaster back down by confronting him and letting him know that his manipulations had not gone unnoticed. His plan had backfired it seemed. The old man was shameless when it came to manipulating people for one thing and for the other, he was really good at it. 

Severus and Albus’ relationship had never been perfect. Severus had hated the old Headmaster with every fiber of his being when he graduated from Hogwarts. It hadn’t started that way, though. As a young boy, seeing the wizarding school as his safe heaven, he had wanted to impress all of his Professors and on top of them, the great wizard that was the Head of the school. But as time went by, he realized he would never gain their approval. The Professors liked well-mannered, pleasant, good looking boys and girls and did not pay any mind to awkward, unkempt, sour and hotheaded teenagers like him, no matter how bright and talented they were. Not long after finishing school, he had turned to Albus in a desperate attempt to save the woman he loved. Lily had died regardless and Albus had managed to sink his claws deep into him.

He shouldn’t have let the man take advantage of him but he had. Time and time again, he had followed the Headmaster’s orders, completing one dangerous task after another. It was like feeding a monster who devoured the result of his hard work without any real appreciation and asked for more. And it was not only the white breaded black hole he was feeding, a part of him still wanted to please the man, to finally be accepted. Somewhere inside him, there was an awkward, moody elven year old with a heart full of pain and hope.

As the water boiled, Severus started mixing ingredients in the cauldrons, resulting in thick foul smelling potions. He hated to admit it even in private, but growing up with a father who saw nothing but flaws when he looked at him and a mother who withheld her affection had left a void inside of him. All his life he had juggled to please the people who showed him the smallest amount of positive attention. First it had been Lily. Once they got to Hogwarts, their friendship started to fade and he had turned to Lucius, the rich handsome perfect who had taken him under his wings, who in spite of his superior attitude never turned his back on him … until a few months ago that is. And then there was Albus, the closest thing to a father figure he had ever had. The Headmaster had disliked him as a student but that night, after Severus had offered to do anything to save his childhood friend, things had changed. Albus had seen something in him and had given him his unwavering trust. There hadn’t been any fatherly love or even true friendship but there was trust unlike anything he had experienced before. Not even his mother trusted him enough to tell him the truth about his nature. Severus often found himself challenging Albus’ authority, pushing to see how far he could go, at the same time terrified of crossing the line and losing the man’s support forever.

Severus took the now dirty cauldrons and lined them up by the sink, then sat at his desk with a stack of homework and started marking them. He hated how weak he was, how easy it was for people to use him and take advantage of him, but he couldn’t help it. He had to give it a shot and offer Potter an olive branch. He didn’t think it would work however, which was not necessarily a bad thing. After his attempt failed, he could go back to ignoring the boy which worked just fine for him.

Potter came three minutes late, looking like he had ran the whole way down to his office. Severus frowned darkly but let it slide and pointed to the sink in the corner. “Get to it, then.” he snapped and resumed his work, while keeping an eye on the boy.

Minutes passed by and Severus started to get impatient. He racked his brain for an opening line but couldn’t for the life of him think of anything to say. Putting his quill down for a moment, he got to his feet and approached his student, who visibly tensed up. Severus’ eyes fell on Potter’s bag on the floor. The bag was filled to the brim with rolls of parchment. There didn’t seem to be any order to it whatsoever but one of the parchments caught the potion Master’s attention. He bent down and took it out of the bag. “Is this supposed to be your potions essay?” he inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“Hey! You’re not allowed to touch my things.”

“Leave those and come sit here for a moment.” ordered Severus, ignoring the boy’s protest. Albus wanted him to treat Potter like his Slytherins and he was going to. “I can see that you’ve already put your minimal knowledge into it and gone through your textbook a couple of times, your next step would be asking your friend Granger for her contribution, wouldn’t it?”

“Hermione doesn’t do my homework.”

“No? You have potions first thing tomorrow. How else are you going to finish your essay? You’re still half a foot short.”

“I could have stayed in the library and finished it if I didn’t have to come to detention.”

“That’s something to think about next time you decide to break curfew.” Severus retorted, although he kept any hint of sarcasm out of his voice. “All the same, I don’t think your essay would turn out differently if you had more time.” he continued as he reached into his desk’s drawer and pulled out the fourth years’ essays from the previous week and leafed through them until he found the one Potter had turned in. “Look familiar?”

Potter scowled, crossing his skinny arms over his chest.

“Let’s see.” murmured Severus, picking up his quill again. “I’ve already marked it, and big surprise, you did not do so well. The first few lines is a clumsy summary of the lecture I gave in class.” he said, putting a small mark next to the lines. “Here, you have given up and decided to finally open your textbook. You’ve gone over the basics, but since it didn’t seem to fill your parchment you’ve bitten the bullet so to speak and gone through the lesson once more, adding random pieces of information in visibly larger letters. And right here is the part you’ve asked for your friend’s contribution. The last few lines are just repeating the previous information to fill the rest of the parchment.” he put the quill down and looked up at the boy. “I’ve been correcting your work for almost four years and every time it’s the same pattern. If you want better marks, you’re going to have to put in more effort.”

“I’m doing my best. Besides, Hermione’s essays are always perfect but you never give her an ‘O’.”

“We’re not discussing Ms. Granger’s work right now, we’re talking about your work. Her essays are better than yours though; that is why she gets higher marks.” said Severus with more patience than he felt. “For the next class, study the assigned readings beforehand and make an attempt to listen to the lecture and take notes. I’m expecting your next easy to be an improvement on your previous work. Instead of separate parts I want you to write a cohesive essay.” he paused, following the lines of his lips with his long fingers. “First, study the textbook and the notes you’ve taken in class and then come up with a structure, you’re going to have to write an introduction in the beginning and a conclusion in the end. Furthermore, make sure you discuss something new in each paragraph.”

Potter mumbled something incoherent under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing … sir.”

Severus sighed. “You may go, now.” he said and put the fourth years’ essays back in his drawer.

Potter hesitated for a moment, then picked up his bag and fled.

…………………………………

Harry walked through the portrait hole and dropped into a chair next to his friends, putting his bag down with more force that was necessary.

“How was your detention?” asked Ron

Harry only shrugged in response.

“Sorry, mate. It sucks that you have to go to detention every night.”

“Yeah, how am I supposed to work on my homework and do the assigned reading?” whined Harry, kicking something on the floor.

Ron blinked at his outburst. “I meant, with all the research you’ve got to do for the next task.”

“We stayed in the library for a couple of hours after you left but didn’t find anything useful.” said Hermione with a sigh.

“I can’t believe Snape kept you this long. He’s a real git!” Ron chimed in.

“He’s not so bad.” said someone to their right. They all turned to see the source of the voice.

Neville was sitting right next to them with a thick book in his lap. He blushed when he realized all the attention had turned to him.

“What do you mean he’s not so bad? He’s always yelling at you and giving you detention.” said Ron.

“And I thought you were afraid of him.” added Harry, frowning.

Neville blushed even more. “He only gives me detention when I melt my cauldron or something and I’m not afraid of him anymore.”

Neville melted his cauldrons more often than all of the other students combined, but Harry didn’t want to bring that up.

“I think, that’s great.” said Hermione with an encouraging smile. “You’re going to do much better if you’re not so nervous in class.”

“I have been doing better in potions.” agreed Neville. “He still yells at me sometimes but I know he doesn’t mean it.”

“What? It’s Snape, of course he means it! He gets high on torturing us. He’s evil.”

“That’s just how he looks on the outside.” said Neville.

Ron snorted, earning a glare from Hermione.

“I don’t think he’s evil either. Professor Dumbledore wouldn’t have let him stay here if he was.”

“That’s not why I’m saying this, Hermione.” said Neville. “I see him in the greenhouses all the time. I never go over and talk to him, but whenever he’s there, he helps the plants grew faster …”

“That’s just because he has elf magic.” interrupted Ron.

“Maybe it’s because of his elf side that he likes the plants but … the plants like him too. It’s like he knows what they want just by looking at them. There’s a whole other side to him that we never see in class.”

“There’s more to him that meets the eyes.” said Harry, quoting Dumbledore.

“Exactly!” agreed Neville, with a smile.

Ron rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything. Hermione looked pensive.

“So, what were you guys looking for in the library? You were saying something about the second task. Do you need any help?” asked Neville after a few minutes of silence.

“I have to do the task in the lake and need to find a way to breathe under water for like an hour.” answered Harry, feeling a bit panicked. “We’ve already checked most of the books. There’s really nothing you could …”

“I know how you can breathe under water!” exclaimed Neville and picked up his book. “When you eat Gillyweed, you grow gills and can breathe like a fish. Your legs would change, too and you can swim. Look, it’s all here.”

“Magical Water Plants of the Mediterranean.” Hermione read the title. “I didn’t see this in the library.”

“It’s the book Professor Moody gave me. You can keep it for a while if you want.”

“Thanks, Neville.” murmured Harry and started reading the page, his friends leaning forward and reading over his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In canon, Moody gives the book to Neville but since Harry doesn't ask anyone besides Ron and Hermione for help, Moody sets up Dobby to get Harry some Gillyweed.


	28. Gillyweed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry looks for a way to get his hands on some Gillyweed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys. I'm really sorry about the late update. It's been a tough couple of weeks with multiple trips to the dentist.
> 
> I hope you like the new chapter. Let me know what you think :D

“The next task is in two days and I still don’t know how I’m going to get the Gillyweed.” Harry told his friends with a sigh as they sat in the charms classroom, practicing the banishing spell. “Neville’s book says it grows in deep water. There might be Gillyweed growing down the black lake, but I wouldn’t need the plant in the first place if I was able to go underwater.”

“It’s like a riddle.” commented Ron, nodding in sympathy then frowned. “Can’t you order some with owl?”

Harry perked up at once at the suggestion. “That’s a great idea. Why didn’t I think of this before?”

“Sorry, Harry but you can’t order ingredients by owl.” said Hermione, successfully banishing her cushion into the box it was supposed to go.

“Why not?”

“I guess it has something to do with it going bad or even turn toxic if it’s exposed to rain, sunlight, cold or hot weather.”

“Are you sure, Mione?” asked Ron.

“Yes, Ronald. I’m sure. I’ve asked the apothecary before. You can have books and clothes sent over to the school by owl but not potion ingredients.”

Harry sighed again. “What am I going to do then?”

“We could always sneak into Snape’s office and …”

“No.” snapped Harry, cutting his friend off. “I’m already in enough trouble with Snape as it is. When Mr. Crouch broke into his office he thought I had something to do with it even though I wasn’t anywhere near his office. Even if one of you do it, he’s still going to suspect me. It’s just not worse it, OK?” he explained hastily. Truth be told, the thought of stealing from Snape had occurred to him as well, it wouldn’t be the first time either but for some reason the thought filled him with guilt.

They focused on their work for a while. Both Harry and Ron managed to perform the banishing spell.

“What about Sirius?” Ron blurted out suddenly.

“What about him?”

“You can owl him and ask him to send you the Gillyweed.”

Harry frowned. He was still mad at Sirius for lying to him and didn’t want to ask for his help. “What if it goes bad on the way over here like Hermione said and I end up poisoning myself?”

“Harry, didn’t you say Sirius was coming for the second task?” asked Hermione. “You can ask him to bring the Gillyweed to Hogwarts.”

“Yeah, that would work.” agreed Ron.

“I guess.” murmured Harry. Still doubtful about contacting his godfather.

After dinner Harry sat cross-legged on his bed and attempted to write a letter to Sirius. He went through a whole role of parchment and in the end ended up with a short message in a messy handwriting. He was about to discard the parchment and start anew when he remembered he had to get to the dungeons for his detention. 

When he reached the potion Master’s office, the dirty cauldrons were waiting for him. Harry started scrubbing, deep in thought. He didn’t want to ask for Sirius’ help and the only other way to get his hands on some Gillyweed was though Snape. “Professor?” he said tentatively.

Snape looked up from the stack of homework he was marking and scowled. “What is it?”

“I was wondering … could I borrow some Gillyweed from your store?” asked Harry. Snape’s scowl deepened. “I need it for the task. I’ll give it back when I can go to Hogsmeade and buy some from the apothecary.”

Snape put down his quill and fixed him with a glare. “Mr. Potter, most of the ingredients in my store are the school’s property. In the fourteen years that I’ve had the misfortune of being a Professor in this school, I have never used school resources for personal purposes and I’m not about to start for your benefit.”

“But … I’m going to give it back, I promise.” insisted Harry. “And it’s not like I want it for myself, I need it for the task.”

“It doesn’t matter whether you give it back or what you’re going to use it for!” snapped Snape. “I’m not going to let you use the school’s resources. And don’t you even think about breaking into my store. I’ll have you expelled if as much as a flobberworm goes missing.”

Harry flinched at the man’s tone and dropped his eyes to his shoes. He should have kept his mouth shut. What was he thinking, asking for Snape’s help? The man hated him, he’d rather see Harry drown in the black lake than lift a finger to ….

“Stop sulking, Potter.” snapped Snape.

Harry stared up defiantly.

His Professor looked wary now and there was a hint of something else in those black eyes. “I suppose, I should give you credit for asking this time.” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I can order you the Gillyweed.” he added and stood up, standing next to wall to his right.

Harry looked in fascination as Snape tapped his wand to the wall, whispering something and made a door appear there. He stood on his tip toes, as the Professor opened the door but couldn’t see what was on the other side.

“Gagan” called Snape and the next moment a huge brown eagle owl, unlike any Harry had ever seen, flew out the door and sat on the man’s shoulder.

Snape closed made the door disappear again and sat at his desk, picking up a piece of parchment.

“Are you going to order by owl? Hermione said apothecaries don’t deliver potion ingredients.”

“They do for me.” murmured Snape as he scribed down something on the parchment and attached it to the owl’s leg. “I’m a very good customer and they always put my purchases in protective parcels.” 

“Thank you, sir.” said Harry sincerely.

“You can thank me by writing an acceptable assay once in a while instead of the usual dribble you hand in.” said Snape and sent his owl out the office door. “Now get back to work!”

Harry jumped at the last remark and hurried over to the sink, blushing.

About an hour later, the brown owl flew back into the office through the open door and delivered a parcel to Snape.

“Here’s your Gillyweed, Potter. You may leave now.” said Snape, stroking the owl’s wings.

Harry took the parcel and started fishing coins out of his pockets. “How much was it?” he asked.

“I’ve already told you what I want as payment.” said Snape, waving a hand dismissively. “Now, get out before I change my mind. I do have other things to tend to, Potter.”

…………………………..

No one was more surprised about Harry’s success in the second task than Harry himself. Sirius came to watch the task like he had promised and even though Harry was still mad at him, when Sirius embraced him after the scores were announced, he forgot all about his godfather’s faults. He finally had someone there for him. He knew there were other people who cared about him; his Head of House, the Headmaster, Hagrid, Hermione, Ron and his family, but it was different to have a godfather. A real family member who loved him and was proud of him. It was more than he could ever ask for.

The warmth that had settled into Harry’s chest did not last all through the day however. That night at the Gryffindore common room, while he was celebrating with his friends, something started nagging at him. He put down his butter beer and looked into the crowd, looking for the small third year.

“Harry!” Colin exclaimed happily at seeing him and raised his camera.

“Wait, Colin.” said Harry. “I need to talk to you.”

The younger boy put his camera down reluctantly and frowned. “What is it? Is something wrong?” he asked in concern.

“No, everything’s fine, it’s just …” Harry paused and pulled the other boy to a corner. “I tore a photo and I need to fix it. Can you help me?”

“Of course I’ll help you! I’ve never actually done it, but there’s a book in the library that has a few spells in it. We can try them and see what works.” said Colin, grinning at him.

Harry felt a weight coming off of his shoulders. “Thank you. It’s a picture of my mom with her friend. It’s the only photo I have of her when she was younger.” he explained. He had felt bad about tearing the photo ever since he realized the two friends were affected by each other’s absence.


	29. Th Boy Who Lived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Potter disappears at the end of the third task.

A sense of dread filled Severus as they got closer to the third task. He had been expecting something horrible to happen ever since Potter’s name had come out of the goblet at the beginning of the school year. He had been apprehensive as the boy was put against a full grown dragon in the first task. The second task turned out to be even more nerve racking since they couldn’t actually see the contestants. Severus had waited anxiously for the boy to resurface from under the deep water and when the boy had not shown up after the one hour time limit was over, he had started to panic. He had been ready to go after the boy, tournament laws be damned, and had sagged in relief when the Gryffindor had finally come up. What he had went through in those short minutes made him realize how much he cared about the dunderhead.

He did care about his students in general. The Slytherins brought out his protective side more than the rest but he would die before he’d let harm come to any of the students regardless of their houses. It wasn’t often that the students’ life was at serious risk, reopening the chamber of secrets two years ago being the exception. All the same, keeping the students safe was a priority for any teacher, especially in potion lab where the potential for accidents was tenfold. He was always alert, always watchful and had defused his fair share of potential disasters. 

Potter had been at risk countless times during his schooling and Severus had watched over him and protected him when he was able. However, he had always done so with a sort of detachment. The boy awakened so many complex feelings in him, mostly pain and anger. He had done his best to push down those feelings and do his duty.

His feelings had changed, it seemed. It was no longer his responsibility, his burden to watch over the boy and with the effort Potter was putting in his class lately and the absence of disrespect and defiance had made him warm up to the Gryffindor. He was still bitter but no longer angry and in the absence of anger he began to realize that he actually cared about Harry Potter.

The day of the third task, Severus stood and watched as the maze was set up. Once more, a task was to happen out of their sight and it was the last chance for whoever had entered Potter into the competition to harm the boy. Luckily the task took place in Severus’ territory this time; between twenty feet high walls made of leaves. When Severus was sure no one was looking, he dropped to the ground and laced his fingers through the grass, reaching out with his magic. The nature answered his call and granted his request. The grass started pulsing and the magic traveled all the way to the maze, enveloping it, embracing it and then it was gone. Severus stayed like that for a few more minutes before raising to his feet and joining the crowd forming in the stances with a lighter heart.

He’d know if something happened to Potter. It wasn’t much but it was better than being left in the dark about what happened in the maze. He had learned to get in touch with his elf magic and the magic of the nature but his powers were still underdeveloped and in result it took a lot of energy for him to use his magic. He needed to stick to his wizard abilities for now, which were familiar and strong.

After what felt like hours, the task started. Potter and Diggory went in first, followed by Krum and then Delacour. Everything was quiet for the first twenty minutes but then they heard a girl scream, Miss Delacour no doubt. The next screams they heard were from someone else. It wasn’t Potter though, he would have known if it was. Red sparks flew in the air, hovering over somewhere near the center of the maze. Krum had been hurt, they were informed, and was taken out of the competition.

More time passed in silence. At one point Potter was injured, but not too badly. Finally the signal came; someone had reached the cup. The audience were on their feet in a burst of excitement and started cheering. Severus rose as well but in horror. Potter was gone. The potion Master made his way out of the stances, shoving and pushing Professors and students alike. He ran to the first tree saw. “Do you know where he is?” he whispered, caressing the tree’s trunk. “Please take me there, if you know where he is.” he pleaded, his heart hammering in his chest. He stood there for a few tense minutes, until he felt the tree sucking him inside. He gave himself to the will of nature and let it take him. 

He emerged from a large yew tree and raised his wand, looking about in the darkness. There was a small church next to the tree and a graveyard to his left. Potter was in the graveyard, he could feel it. Severus started moving in that direction in long strides, trying to get a grasp on the situation.

As he got closer, he could make out three figures in the dark. One of them fell down suddenly.

“Kill the spare.” said someone in a high cold voice.

Before the potion Master could figure out what was going on, one of the two standing figures raised his wand. As the short man started to pronounce the curse, Severus’ heart leaped. It was the killing curse. His elf side wouldn’t let him curse the attacker. There were no trees there, no one to help. He wasn’t close enough to shield the curse with his body. Going with his instinct, Severus dropped his wand and raised his hands. He called with his magic, putting in every ounce of strength he possessed. His call was answered and a wall of roots and greens rose from the ground, breaking through one of the graves. The protective wall rose just in time to shield the green burst of light coming out of the outstretched wand and absorbed the dark magic.

“Run!” yelled Severus as he fell to his knees in exhaustion. The boy, who had been target to the killing curse complied at once but the other who was lying on the ground seemed unable to move immediately. It was Potter. His features were tight as if in agony and he was grasping at his forehead. The boy pushed himself to all fours and finally managed to stand. He limped a step or two until the short man immobilized him and he fell once more to the ground.

The wand was then turned to Severus. The attacker hesitated, unsure of what to make of him.

“What are you waiting for, you fool? Kill him!” The horrid voice ordered from a bundle lying next to the man’s feet.

Severus knew he had already lost but leaped for his fallen wand. Hot pain surged through his back just as his hand closed around the hard wood.

“Cedric, help him!” yelled Potter.

Severus pulled himself up on his left elbow, greeting his teeth through the pain and raised his wand arm, but before he could form a spell, someone grabbed his ankle and he was pulled away from the cold ground into darkness. ‘No!’ his mind screamed as he was apparated away from the graveyard and landed hard on a stone path. Hot blood was gushing out of his calf next to where he had been grabbed. He had never splinched himself before but he was sure that’s what had happened.

“Hang on, Professor. I’ll get help.” said Diggory, panting.

Severus raised his head as he heard hurried footsteps leaving him. He had to go back. Potter was still there. He had to go back. Seeing the outline of the forbidden forest he crawled on his belly, dragging himself to the nearest tree and stretched his hand until his fingertips touched the base of the tree. “Please, take me back.” he whispered. “Please.” he repeated when nothing happened. He tried to fight the darkness that was enveloping him but soon fell unconscious.


	30. The Lost Champion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dark Lord is resurrected.

The crowd cheered. The tournament was finally over. Remus looked to where Sirius was siting and grinned at his friend, Sirius grinned back. They rose to their feet in anticipation, cringing their necks to see who had claimed the cup as the maze was taken down. The excited screams filled the air. The first champion that was revealed, half way to the center was Flour Delacour. She was lying on the floor and was stunned, by the looks of it. The winner was either Harry or Cedric. Remus bit his lip, fiercely hoping to see Harry holding the cup as the hedges were taken down, one by one. It would be like in the stories; the small guy beating the big guys and triumphing.

There was no sign of either Harry or Cedric as they reached the last row of the maze. It was a close race. Only … the center of the maze was empty as well. Remus stared down in shock. It couldn’t be. Confusion and disbelieve was suddenly replaced by panic. Heart hammering in his chest, Remus made his way down the stands. The other Professors did the same, so did Sirius, Cedric’s parents and the Minister.

Dumbledore tried to take control of the situation and asked them to gather in a corner. “Where is Severus?” he asked suddenly.

Remus frowned as he looked around.

“Was he not in the stands?”

“He was Headmaster. He was sitting a few seats from me.” said Minerva.

“Snape’s got Harry. That bastard! I knew it. I knew the fucking …”

“Sirius, calm down.” Remus snapped at his friend. “Just because Severus isn’t here doesn’t mean he had something to do with this.” he reasoned, even though he couldn’t help but feel suspicious himself.

“The hell it doesn’t!”

“This is pointless gentlemen. We must focus on finding out what has happened to our students.” said Flitwick.

“That’s what I’m trying to do.” hissed Sirius.

“Filius is right.” said Albus, cutting off further argument. “Search the area for any clues to what has happened. Call out if you find anything.”

They spread out and started scanning the field. They had hardly made any progress when they heard someone calling for help.

They turned to see a student in Hufflepuff colors running towards them.

“Cedric!” exclaimed Mr. and Mrs. Diggory together, relief evident on their features.

“Help! Professor Snape was cursed. I splinched him. You have to help.” rasped Cedric, clutching at his side. His robes where dirty and he looked white as a ghost.

“Are you alright, son? Tell us what happened.” said Mr. Diggory.

“Where’s Harry?” asked Sirius.

“You have to come, now. He’s going to bleed out.” said Cedric urgently.

“Alright, my boy. Poppy, Remus you come with us. The rest of you keep searching.” said Dumbledore as he gestured for the Head Boy to show the way.

“I’m coming, too.” announced Sirius as he joined them.

The four of them followed Cedric to the path to Hogsmeade. The boy paused just outside of the school gates.

“He was right here.” said Cedric.

There was a trial of blood on the ground from the spot Cedric was showing them. It continued to the edge of the forbidden forest where a dark figure was lying unmoving on the ground.

“Dear Marlin.” murmured Poppy as she rushed to the unconscious man.

Severus was lying on his stomach with his hand stretched out towards one of the trees. His clothes where torn at the back and an angry looking scar was peaking beneath them. The man’s left leg was a bloody mess and his breathing seemed to be labored.

Dumbledore kneeled down next to Severus. He gently pushed the man’s hair out of his face and started checking his vitals while Poppy worked on his leg.

“Can you tell us what happened to Professor Snape, my boy?” the Headmaster asked Cedric.

The Head Boy told them how he and Harry had been portkeyed out of the school and into a graveyard where they had been attacked by a strange man and how Snape had shown up and saved Cedric’s life, getting cursed in the process. The boy dropped his head in shame as he got to the part where he had apparated his Professor back, leaving Harry behind.

Dumbledore rose to his feet and squeezed the boy’s shoulder. “It’s alright, child. You did the best you could. None of this is your fault.” he said soothingly.

“Harry.” whispered Sirius, closing his eyes in defeat.

“I’m sorry.” said Cedric, his eyes filling with tears.

“Don’t worry. We’re going to find Harry.” said Dumbledore. “Remus, Sirius, find the Minister. Tell him to call the Aurors immediately. Take Cedric with you.”

Remus nodded. “Let’s go Cedric.”

“Is Professor Snape going to be alright?”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Remus assured the boy as he urged him back to the school. Sirius followed them quietly. 

Fudge called the Aurors without argument and they all resumed the search. Dumbledore joined them a few minutes later.

As more time passed, the air got heavier with tension. The truth was that they had no way of figuring out where the portkey had taken Harry. The best they could do was to find some clue as to who had set the whole thing up. So far the Ministry officials had not succeeded in identifying the magical signature left on the field. Remus sighed and ran a wary hand over his face as he looked around. Whoever was responsible for this must be close by. Someone who had been there from the time Harry’s name came out of the goblet. Remus’ eyes narrowed as he saw Karkaroff clutching his left forearm. A look of panic came over the man’s face and he looked around frantically. He stood there motionless for a few minutes but then seemed to come to a decision.

Karkaroff started walking purposefully towards the castle. Remus followed him, trying to stay out of sight. He frowned as he saw the man turn in the direction of the hospital wing. What could Karkaroff possibly want there?

When Remus walk into the infirmary he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. There were only a couple of students there. The mediwitch’s office was locked, Madam Pomfrey had probably gone outside again after taking care of Severus, in case Harry was found and needed medical attention. Speaking of Severus … Remus realized the door to the private room was ajar. He walked on his tip toes and looked in through the open door.

Karkaroff was there. The man bent over Severus and lifted his left sleeve. He gasped at the sight of pale skin he found there. Remus blinked in confusion at odd behavior and watched as Karkaroff turn Severus to his back and then slipped his hands under the other man’s body, picking him up.

“Hey! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” snapped Remus, pushing the door all the way open and raising his wand.

Karkaroff startled, almost dropping his burden. “Put away your wand, Lupin.” he hissed.

“I’ll do that when you put Severus down and get the hell out of here.”

“Don’t talk back to me werewolf.” sneered the man. “If you want to keep your job, you’d get out of my way.

Remus felt all the blood draining from his face but didn’t budge.

“I don’t have time for this. He’s angry enough as it is. Get out of my way or I’ll make sure everyone knows your little secret.”

“Why are you doing this? I thought Severus was your friend.”

“I thought so, too. I begged him to run away with me but he brushed me off. He brushed me off every time I tried to reason with him. Now I know why. He found a way out and didn’t bother to tell the rest of us. He deserves what he gets.” Karkaroff rambled on, there was a mad glint in his eyes. “I’m taking him with me. It’s my only hope to be forgiven.”

“You’re not going anywhere with him.”

“Do your worst. I’m not afraid of you.” murmured Karkaroff and made to move past him.

Remus knew whatever curse he used on Karkaroff would affect his hostage as well. He decided on a stunning spell when he heard footsteps behind him.

“Remus, are you there?” asked Sirius. “What’s going on?” he added as he moved closer.

Karkaroff stopped in his tracks. He glared at the two of them and dropped Severus back on the bed with force.

Severus moaned and curled up into himself. Remus rushed to his side and tried to get him into a more comfortable position.

“What was that all about?” asked Sirius as Karkaroff stormed out.

“I have no idea.” whispered Remus and he sat bonelessly on the edge of the bed. There was no doubt in his mind that everyone would know about his furry problem by tomorrow.


	31. Fever Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Severus can think about is going back for Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter I've borrowed a few lines from Harry Potter book 4, chapter 36.

It was snowing but Severus was burning up. He stood there awkwardly and watched Lily dance and leap in the snow. He wanted to join in but he was shivering in his thin robes, even though it was hot. The winters in Scotland were a lot chiller than their hometown and here he couldn’t wear his old oversized jacket over his robes, or rather he didn’t want to.

Severus stood watching his friend for some time until his childish tendencies won over his good sense. Ignoring the chill that was seeping into his bones he kneeled, feeling the moisture through his pants, and started building a castle. His hands were burning from the cold, or was it heat, his whole body was burning and his back hurt. Suddenly his breath hitched as a piece of snow was shoved into his robes from behind.

“Lily!” he howled and reached back to find the snow that was pressed into his neck but couldn’t feel anything there, even though he could feel the cold.

Lily kept giggling. Why was she doing this? Was she mad at him?

Of course she was! He had left her son. He had promised to look after him but had fled like a coward, leaving a fourteen year old boy alone in the hands of a dangerous man. He had to go back.

Gathering his strength, Severus fought for consciousness. He could feel a soft bed underneath him. He was lying on his stomach and someone was pressing something cold and damp at the back of his neck. He couldn’t muster the energy to move. He opened his mouth to ask for help but all that came out was a moan.

The woman hovering over him shushed him and stroked his cheek with gentle fingers. Severus knew he didn’t deserve the comforting touch but leaned into it all the same and soon he fell asleep again.

The next time he woke up, someone else was with him. He blinked and tried to make out their features but couldn’t see them properly while he was lying on his stomach.

“Severus? How are you feeling?” asked the man.

Severus frowned, then close his eyes in annoyance as he recognized the voice. “Lupin.” he murmured.

“I’m going to go get Madam Pomfrey.” said the werewolf and made to get to his feet.

Severus reached out and grabbed the man’s robes, stopping him. “Help me up.” he ordered.

“You shouldn’t move. You’ve hurt your back.”

“You don’t understand. I have to go.”

“I’m sorry, Severus. I can’t let you get out of bed.” said Lupin and pried his robes free from his grasp. “I’ll go get Madam Pomfrey. If she says you can move, I’ll help you.” he added with a kind smile.

Severus scowled as he watched the man leave. He didn’t like being patronized. Deciding that he needed to somehow do this on his own, Severus pushed his palms against the mattress and tried to push himself up without much success. He lay there panting, wondering how much time had passed since he had left Harry in that graveyard. He wondered if the boy was still alive as he lost consciousness once more.

Severus woke alone this time. There were voices coming from the next room. They were talking about Crouch, the Triwizard Cup, You-Know-Who coming back and Harry. Did they mean Harry Potter? Albus’ voice raised as he tried to reason with someone.

Albus could help. Lupin had been useless but he was sure Albus would help him get to Harry. Determined, Severus dragged himself out of bed. He was stronger than the last time he had tried to get up but he was shaky on his legs. The scar on his back burned as he moved, using the wall for support. He had been cursed, he remembered. Cursed wounds were slow to heal and hurt a lot more than regular wounds.

He was completely worn out by the time he reached the door. He opened it and leaned against the door frame. He could see Albus, Minerva, Black, Lupin and was that Minister Fudge? The Minister looked angry and so did everyone else there.

“Albus.” whispered Severus. The old man didn’t seem to hear him, so he cleared his throat and tried again. “Albus!” this time it came out a bit too loudly.

They all ceased arguing and turn to him.

“Severus, my boy. You shouldn’t be out of bed.” said Albus and rushed to his side.

Severus shrugged off Albus’ hand as the man reached for his elbow. “Help me get to the grounds. Somewhere with a tree.” he said urgently.

“I don’t know what you and your staff are playing at, Dumbledore, but I have heard enough. I have no more to add. I will be in touch with you tomorrow, Dumbledore, to discuss the running of this school. I must return to the Ministry.” said Fudge and turned on his heels and left.

The Headmaster watched him go with a thoughtful look on his face.

“Albus, are you listening to me? This is important.”

“I’m sorry, my boy. I got distracted.” murmured Dumbledore, studying him thoughtfully. “If you need to be close to plants, I’m sure Professor Sprout would …”

“I need a tree! I have to go back.”

“Go back where?”

“To the graveyard. I … I left Potter there. I have to go back.” Severus was pleading now.

The confusion left Albus’ face. “You want to go back for Harry.” he said in understanding.

“Yes! Now, stop wasting time. His life could be in danger. Help me get to a tree. I need to …”

“It’s alright Severus. Harry is right here at Hogwarts.” Albus assured him.

Severus searched his eyes for a moment, sighing in relief when he didn’t find anything but sincerity there. “How did he …?”

“There’s time for that later. You need to get to bed.” Albus interrupted him and took his elbow again.

“Is he injured? Where is he now?”

“He’s in the hospital. His injuries aren’t serious, unlike yours. Let’s get you to bed before you injure your back farther.”

Severus let himself be guided back inside the private room, suddenly boneless. He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He dreamed of Lily again, of the day they had played in the snow but this time his dream was quite peaceful.


	32. The Wild FLowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus receives a gift and a couple of visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry about the delay. I've been thinking a lot about how the story is going to progress down the line and would like to know your opinion. I pretty much know what is going to happen in the next few chapters but haven't decided how the story would end. Please let me know what you think.

"So you're saying Karkaroff wanted to kidnap me?" asked Severus, his eyebrows raising in shock.

Albus nodded. "According to Remus, he checked your arm first. I can only assume that he felt his dark mark burning and wanted to check yours."

Severus swallowed. "So now they know my mark is gone." he stated. They both knew what that meant.

"Karkaroff wanted to take you to Voldemort in order to make up for all he did after the war, all the people he outed to the Ministry. After Remus stopped him, I believe he fled."

"But it'll only be a matter of time."

"Yes, Voldemort will find him sooner or later." said the Headmaster, stroking his beard. They were both silent for a moment. "There was another matter I wanted to discuss with you. The order of the Phoenix is going to resume all activities. We're gathering the old crowd and I was hoping that you would join us as an active member."

Severus frowned. “Why would you want me in your order? I’ve already told you, I’m not going to spy for you this time around.”

“I know, my boy. I don’t expect you to spy on Lord Voldemort. The only way that would be possible is for you to take the mark again and I would never asked that of you.” said Albus, patting his hand reassuringly. “Nevertheless, I believe you can be an asset. On top of being an exceptionally talented brewer, you’re an intelligent insight man and you have intimate knowledge of the enemy. Not to mention what a capable fighter you are.”

“I used to be a capable fighter.” Severus corrected.

“You saved a student’s life. You blocked the killing curse, if Cedrick and Harry’s assumption is correct.”

“I was wondering when you’d get to that.” Severus sneered.

“I admit, I’m rather curious about how you managed to find them and the spell you used in order to block the curse that is believed to be unstoppable.” said Albus, his blue eyes twinkling with curiosity.

“I didn’t use a spell. It was elf magic.” explained Severus. “I’m uncomfortable revealing more than that. The elves don’t like to share their powers with mankind. Suffice it to say, it’s not something that can be thought. It’s only possible through elf magic.”

“You’ve had contact with elves?” asked the Headmaster, a calculating look on his face.

Severus glared hard at the man until the looked disappeared from the old man’s features.

Albus raised his hands in surrender. “Forgive me, Severus. I won’t press you on this any farther. I do need an answer to my previous question, though.” 

Severus stared at the knees and sighed. “You know I want the dark Lord defeated as much as any of you and I’ll do what I can to make it happen, but ….” he looked up, meeting the other man’s eyes. “I’ve had enough of your manipulations to last me a lifetime. You have a way of using people and I’ve been at the receiving end of it more than anyone else I know. I can’t endure it any longer. I feel helpless enough as it is.” he took a deep breath, trying to get his emotions under control. He had never felt as vulnerable and weak as he had in that graveyard. “I’ll join the order under the condition that you don’t ask me to do anything I don’t wish to do.”

Albus gave him a sad smile. “You’re right, my boy. I know I always ask too much of you, but I can’t promise it won’t happen again. However, if I step out of the line you can tell me and I’ll back off.”

“Fair enough.”

Albus’ smile reached his eyes. “Welcome aboard.” He was about to say something else when Madam Pomfrey came in. “I should let you rest. We’ll talk about the details later.” he said instead and rose to his feet.

Severus watched him leave, running a hand through his long hair. He needed to cut it again soon.

“How are you feeling?” asked Poppy.

“I feel like I’m older than that old coot.” grumbled Severus, shifting where he sat.

“I’m afraid I can’t do much about that. Back injuries are never pleasant or easy to recover from. I do have something that’ll cheer you up, though.”

Severus raised an eyebrow, noticing that she was holding something behind her back. “Yes?”

Grinning, Poppy revealed a bouquet of flowers. “Aren’t they beautiful? They’re from your boyfriend.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” murmured Severus as he took the flowers. There was a card that read ‘get well soon … Charles’.

A small smile tugged at Severus’ lips and he twirled the bouquet in his hands to get a batter look at the colorful wild flowers. He looked up when he realized Poppy was still standing there. The woman was smirking now, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “It’s from Charlie Weasley, isn’t it? I knew it!”

Severus rolled his eyes at her. “Do you mind putting them in water? I don’t want them to die.”

Poopy summoned a tall glass and filled it with water. Severus handed her the bouquet reluctantly. It was the first time he had received a gift from a lover and it warmed his heart.

“By the way, Cedrick Diggory’s parents are here. They want to thank you for saving their son.”

Severus tensed, which made his back hurt. “Please tell me I’m not allowed to have visitors.” he said with a wince.

“Come now. They just want to show their gratitude. Cedrick is their only child and you risked your own life to save him.” remarked Poppy. “I’m sure it’s not your first time dealing with a student’s parents.” she sighed when she saw the look on his face. “I’ll tell them to come back after lunch and make sure they won’t stay for too long.”

“Good.” said Severus, relaxing a little. He wasn’t the most social of people and even though he was used to dealing with enraged parents who demanded special treatment for their children, he had no idea how to deal with a situation like this.

Poppy gave him a quick check up and rearranged his pillows before leaving. Severus turned his attention to the flowers again, wondering what had promoted Charles to do it. They hadn’t so much as exchanged owls over the last few months. As lovely a gesture as it was, he couldn’t help but wonder if there was something more to it. Poppy was right, it was something a boyfriend would do. He was pondering over that, when he heard the door creak open.

“Potter!” he snapped when he saw the boy walk in.

The boy who lived jumped, standing by the door uncertainly.

“Aren’t you supposed to be resting?” he asked in a calmer voice.

“I wanted to see if you were alright, sir.” said the boy defiantly. “Madam Pomfrey said you were fine but I wanted to see for myself.”

“Is that so?” asked Severus raising an eyebrow. “Happy with what you see, Potter?”

“You look pale.” observed the boy, stepping closer. “Cedrick said you’ve lost a lot of blood.”

Severus wanted to retort but noticed a bandage wrapped around potter’s arm. “What happened to your arm?”

“Petitgrew cut it. You know, to use my blood in a potion that gave Voldemort his body back.”

Severus flinched, not only because it was appalling to hear the dark Lord’s name out of the mouth of a teenager. “Do you have other injuries?” he asked quietly.

Potter shook his head.

“I didn’t mean to leave you there. I wanted to come back for you but couldn’t.”

“You were hurt and you couldn’t reach your wand. He would have killed you if Cedrick hadn’t apparated you.”

Severus scowled. He didn’t want to be reminded of how helpless he had been.

“How did you find us, anyway?” asked potter, not noticing his change of mood.

“I expect you to address me as ‘sir’ or ‘Professor’. How many times should I say it before it penetrates your thick …”

“How did you find us, sir?”

Severus’ scowl deepened at being interrupted. He somehow felt compelled to answer the boy. He had refused to tell Dumbledore much but he felt like he owed Potter something. “I have … a connection with nature. I asked the plants in the maze to keep an eye on you. When I realized you were gone I asked them to take me where you were.” he revealed after a long pause. 

“What do you mean they took you? How does that work?”

“Enough! I’ve told you as much as I’m willing. You have to learn how to leave well enough alone.”

“Professor Dumbledore says curiosity is not a sin.”

“Perhaps not, but giving in to curiosity and invading other’s people’s privacy is. Not everyone’s secret are yours to discover, you insolent child.” Severus shot back. The brat was always sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. 

The defiant look was back in the boy’s face and his green eyes shone with anger behind his round glasses. “What about the secrets that involve me?" he spat.

“What are you on about now, Potter?”

“You never told me you were friends with my mother!”

Severus blinked. He hadn’t expected that. “What difference could it possibly make to you now? It was before you were even conceived.”

“She died when I was a baby. It’s not fair that you got to know her and I didn’t!” snapped the boy. His cheeks were flushed and he was shaking with rage.

Guilt filled Severus’ chest. He had played a big part in Lily’s death and he would carry the guilt to his grave. “If it’s any consolation, we stopped being friends after fifth year.” he said in a tight voice.

“Because you called her a mudblood.” Potter accused.

Severus pursed his lips. “I don’t wish to discuss this and I don’t want to hear you say that word in my presence.”

“Why? Remus said you and your friends used that word all the time.”

“Did he? He’s quick to point out other people’s faults. Next time you see him try asking him about your precious father and godfather and the insults they threw at anyone who didn’t share their opinion.” he sneered.

Potter paled at that and looked down at his shoes. He mumbled something unintelligible under his breath.

“Speak up, Potter! Or better yet take your mumbling …”

“I said, I already know my dad and Sirius were bullies.”

Severus stared at him, speechless. He had insulted Potter’s father to his face more times than he could count, but the boy had never believed a word of it. He thought his father perfect… not anymore it seemed.

“Everyone always says my dad was a good man and that my mom was nice and caring. But why would she marry him if she …” the boy trailed off.

“Your mother wasn’t a mean spirited girl, but she wasn’t perfect either. No one is. You father was handsome and popular and flashy and your mother was attracted to him. She wasn’t the only girl worshiping him. Same goes for your godfather.” said Severus quietly. He had never forgiven her for marrying Potter. Lily had proven to be like everyone else, vain and superficial.

“I still can’t believe my dad was a bully.” said Potter miserably.

It was odd that the boy was confiding in him. Perhaps it was because he was one of the few people who already knew about James Potter’s shortcomings. “I grew up with a drunken father, Potter. Some of your classmates have Death Eaters for fathers.” he told the boy, shocking him. “The point is … we don’t choose who our parents are. And as far as fathers go, it could have been a lot worse.”

Potter stared at him for a few minutes, then nodded.

“Now, go back to your bed.” ordered Severus.

For once the boy complied without arguing and marched out of the room.


	33. The Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus reaches out to his uncle for help.

Severus climbed down the last staircase slowly and carefully, using the wall for support while hovering a vase filled with the wild flowers Charles had sent in front of him. He took a couple of minutes to catch his breath, then limped along the corridor to his office. His splinched leg had completely healed days ago but his back still gave him hell when he dared to move. He could have flooed to his office of course, but according to Poppy physical activity was crucial to his recovery. The mediwitch had suggested he use a walking stick, which he had whole heartedly refused. He didn’t want to be depended on a cane for the mere task of walking. Luckily, the students had left the school just the day before and no one was going to see him limp about.

After what felt like hours, Severus finally reached his office. He put the vase down on his desk so that he could use his wand to open the door to his personal quarters. The moment the door creaked open, something flew at him. Severus raised his wand reflexively, but was at a loss as to what spell to cast. It wasn’t until he felt the familiar sensation of sharp claws digging into his shoulder that he realized it was his owl. “Gagan” he whispered, closing his eyes in relief.

The large owl hooted and pulled at Severus’ hair with his beak.

Ignoring the sharp pain at his scalp, Severus raised a hand and stroked Gagan’ wing. “Missed me?” he asked with a small smile.

The brown owl hooted in response and shifted into a more comfortable position as Severus picked up the vase and dragged himself into his quarters, doing his best to walk straight and not disturb the bird. Gagan moved to his lap once he sat himself in a chair and looked up at him expectedly, tilting his head to the side.

Severus smiled again. “Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten.” he reassured and reached into his robes’ pocket. He took out a bundle and unwrapped it to reveal Gagan’s favorite treat; worms. Gagan didn’t like being left alone for too long and Severus always brought him worms as peace offering whenever he was away.

Severus’ mind drifted as he watched the bird eat. He had been feeling helpless and paranoid ever since his encounter with Pettigrew at the graveyard. He had learned from an early age to be self-reliant but he couldn’t deal with this alone. His very independence was at stake after all. Pettigrew, the incompetent wizard that he was, had defeated him in a one on one and he could not let that happen again.

Gagan stayed perched in his lap after finishing his worms and Severus didn’t have the heart to move him. He summoned a book and tried to concentrate on reading while he stroked the bird. A house elf arrived at eight o’clock with dinner. Gagan finally moved and settled himself on the small dining table next to his plate. Severus followed him with a sigh. He dug into his eggplant casserole, well aware that his owl was watching his every move. “So, where do you think we should stay this summer?” he asked conversationally. “I’m not sure whether our house in Spinner’s End is safe or not. Lucius is the only one who knows where I live. I’d like to think he hasn’t told the dark Lord but …” he trailed off.

Gagan hooted encouragingly.

“We could always stay at Hogwarts, I suppose.” Severus continued. It was the most logical choice but the idea didn’t sit well with him. He liked having his own place and it would be nice to have his garden back. “I’ll go check out the house first. Perhaps if I put on strong enough wards it will be livable.” he concluded.

Gagan pulled at his hair, then resumed observing him.

Severus was almost done eating when the bird was finally satisfied that things had gotten back to normal and flew away, or perhaps he had simply gotten bored. Either way, Severus was grateful. He finished his dinner and picked up his amber necklace. He needed to talk to his uncle.

The walk to the forbidden forest was agonizing and took way to long. It was quite late by the time Severus got to their usual meeting spot. He put on the necklace and let the pulsing wash over him, calming his nerves.

After a few minutes, Vulas appeared from the large tree next to him. “Severus! Where have you been? I was worried about you.” exclaimed the elf.

Severus was taken aback by the concern evident on his uncle’s face. “I was injured. I would have used my healing power to recover faster but I had exhausted my elf magic.”

“Why? What happened?”

Severus gestured for Vulas to sit down and tried to explain everything, starting with his own involvement with the dark Lord and his promise to look after the boy who lived and then what had happened in the graveyard and his encounter with Pettigrew.

Vulas listened intently without interrupting. “I’m proud of you. You’ve learned to use your powers and you saved a young man’s life.” he declared once Severus was done.

Severus felt something shift inside of him at the approval in his mentor’s voice but knew he didn’t deserve it. “I’m not proud of myself. I drained my magic all too quickly and left myself vulnerable. I wasn’t able to protect Harry. I left him in the hands of the enemy.” he said, exasperated. “If it was two years ago I would have taken the bastard before he could so much as raise his wand.”

“Could you have also block the killing curse and save that boy from certain death?”

“I could have tried to… I might have …” Severus took a deep breath and rubbed at his temples. “No, I couldn’t have blocked the curse but that’s not the point.”

“I understand why you’re upset.” said Vulas. “I don’t think you failed, though. If you hadn’t put enough power behind conjuring your protective wall, it wouldn’t have been strong enough to stop the curse.”

“I got lucky this time. I have to be more prepared. I need your help.”

“I’ve already thought you everything you need to know and you’ve proved you have learned.”

“But …”

“You’ve only been using your elf powers for a few months, not to mention the fact that you have suppressed them for almost thirty years. Give it time. You know how to use your magic, but you tire easily because you don’t have enough practice.” explained Vulas patiently.

“There must be something more I can do.” insisted Severus, desperation creeping into his voice.

Vulas was quite for a moment, deep in thought. “You’re more used to being a wizard than an elf. Use your human magic to cover for your elf magic’s weakness.”

“I can’t use most of the spells I’m used to casting because of my elf side.”

“Then you need to sit down and make a list of the spells you CAN use. I know wizards have shields and other protective spells.” said Vulas. “I’m afraid I’m not able to help you more than that. Our tutoring sessions are at an end. You have to figure out the rest on your own.” he added as he rose to his feet.

Severus stood as well. “Thank you for everything.” he said sincerely and held out his hand.

“It was my duty.” said Vulas and covered Severus’ hand with his own. “This isn’t goodbye by any means. On behalf of our village, I would like to invite you to join us at harvest season.”

“Harvest season?”

“Harvesting is one of the most rewarding things in an elf’s life. You should experience it at least once. It starts mid-September and continues to the end of October. I know you’re a teacher and are not able to be away from school for that long but come whenever you have free time.”

“I … I don’t know…”

“You don’t have to answer right now. Think it over.” Vulas assured him and finally released his hand. He nodded once before disappearing into the tree.

Severus sighed and braced himself for the trip back to the dungeons. As determined as he was to solve his problem, harvest season consumed all his thoughts, until he got ready for bed that night and it didn’t stop in his dreams either.


	34. The Black Manor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus attends an order meeting for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry about the late update. I've been very preoccupied lately. I'll try to update sooner next time.
> 
> I hope you like this chapter. Let me know what you think.

It was Severus’ favorite time of the year; the official start of the summer holidays. He put the last of his clothes in his old suitcase and closed it with a triumphant thud before shrinking it. He was all packed and ready to leave. He had turned in his paper work and double-checked the Slytherin common room and dorms. His classroom, office and lab were also cleaned, organized and safely warded.

He had decided he wasn't going to stay at Hogwarts no matter what became of his house in Spinner’s End. He could always rent a cottage somewhere if his safety was compromised. Anything he could afford was better than hiding at Hogwarts like a coward.

Every year at the beginning of summer, Severus was filled with anticipation and serenity but not this time. The dark Lord was back and he wasn’t going to get a break from that, not even during the summer. Today he was going to have to attend an order meeting for the first time. He had already missed a couple of them during his recovery and wasn’t going to let them have another gathering without him. He didn’t relish the idea of spending an extended amount of time with his fellow order members, in Black’s house no less, but didn’t want to be kept in the dark either.

Severus picked up the piece of parchment Albus had left him and glanced at the directions before burning it over the candle. He only needed to look at the directions in order to get passed the Fidelius charm, having been to Black Manor multiple times before the war, when Lord and Lady Black were still alive. He had found it quite a fascinating place. Of course back then he had been easy to impress, considering his upbringing. Not to mention, Sirius Black had not been welcomed there.

Severus had been nervous as hell the first time he had gone to the Manor, knowing full well the Blacks would never let the likes of him darken their doorstep if it wasn't for his friendship with Lucius and Regulus' desperate need of a tutor. It wasn’t that Regulus had been failing in school, but after being upgraded to the Black family’s heir he needed to excel his NEWTs. Soon, the boy had started to improve in most subjects and Lady Black had warmed up to Severus enough to invite him to stay for tea after the tutoring sessions. Severus had been immensely proud of himself, impressing a woman as strict and unwelcoming as Walburga Black.

Now here he was, a full grown wizard and once again nervous as hell. The magnificent house was occupied by a different crowd but they too considered themselves too good to be associated with the likes of him. They'd never admit it of course but it was clear as day. The suspicious looks, the whispers and the way they quieted as soon as he walked into a room. He had been dealing with it for years but he had never been this nervous about it. All those people who had looked down at him throughout his life were going to be gathered at one place and he had lost the strong threatening demeanor he had worked so hard on building. On the plus side, he was much better at hiding his emotions than he had been at seventeen and even though he didn't like the way those people tended to act around him, he didn't care about gaining their approval.

After making sure he had picked up everything, Severus made his way to the school gates and from there apparated to number twelve Grimmauld place. He rang the doorbell and braced himself. A moment later, the door opened, revealing a red headed man.

"Professor Snape. We’ve be waiting for you. Please come in." said the head of the Weasley family in a hushed tone

"Mr. Weasley." greeted Severus, refusing to lower his voice, and closed the door shut behind him.

Weasley winced at the sound and a second later someone started screaming at the top of their lungs, shouting insults.

"Is that ...?"

"Mrs. Black's portrait. It's been placed on the wall with a permanent sticking charm, so we couldn't remove it." explained the man as he closed the curtains over the enraged portrait.

Severus watched him, wondering how this man could be related to Charles. Their ginger hair and impressive height aside, they were nothing alike.

"And please call me Arthur." said the man pleasantly.

Severus merely nodded and followed him down the stairs and into the kitchen. There were more ginger-heads waiting for them there.

Molly was the first one to notice him. She was standing over a pot of stew. Severus felt his stomach churn and pressed his lips together in displeasure. He couldn't stand the smell of meat.

"It's good to see you, Professor. I hope you're feeling better." said the woman kindly, studying him with a critical eye.

"I'm fine, Mr. Weasley. Thank you." responded Severus shortly, getting self-conscious under her gaze. He wondered if she knew he had slept with her son.

"Please, call me Molly. Everyone around here does."

Severus nodded but as she continues to look at him, he went on. "Then I must insist you call me Severus." his eyes shifted to the other occupants of the room. Bill inclined his head politely as their eyes met, even as the corners of his mouth twitched in mirth. The twins were staring at him with equal amounts of shock and mischief. "That doesn't include the two of you." he said in what he hoped was a stern tone.

Arthur laughed as the faces of his troublemaker sons fell. Molly glared at her husband. "Of course." she said and turned back to her cooking to hide her own smile. "I hope you'd be staying for dinner, Severus. I'm making my famous stew."

Charles had certainly taken after his mother, thought Severus. "Thank you for the offer, but I'm going to be busy this afternoon." he said, feeling more uncomfortable.

It was almost a relief when he heard Lupin's tired voice approaching. Unfortunately there was another familiar voice accompanying it. Severus scowled as the door flew open and watched Black's expression darken at the sight of him.

"Severus, I'm glad to see you're doing better." said Lupin. 

"Lupin" murmured Severus, not taking his eyes off of Black.

“Albus asked me to bring you up to speed.” Lupin went on.

“I beg your pardon?”

“The last two meetings. He thought you might like to know what we’ve discussed so far, since you weren’t able to attend.” explained the werewolf and gestured for him to sit.

Severus narrowed his eyes but sat down without argument. He could feel Black’s eyes on him as Lupin started to talk him about the meetings in detail, as if trying to keep him occupied and away from Black. Pretty soon the other members of the order arrived and the meeting started. Severus sat quietly as he listened to the reports and studied the others as the meeting went on.

Severus rose from his seat as soon as the meeting was over and headed for the door. He was almost out of the kitchen when his path was blocked by none other than Sirius Black.

“We need to talk, Snape.” announced the man. “I want to know what happened in that graveyard.”

Severus scowled. “I tried to save your godson, that’s what happened.” he spat and made to move passed him.

“Oh, really?” retorted Black, continuing to block the way. “I don’t know how you’ve managed to convinced everyone you were acting like some kind of a hero but you won’t fool me. I knew it was your doing the moment you disappeared. You’re working with Peter.”

Severus snorted. “It’ll be a cold day in hell …”

“Don’t you dare deny it! You knew exactly where to look for them. You’ve planned all this to manipulate Harry. You’ve always hated my godson. Now you’re pretending to be nice to him.” said Black in a dangerously low voice, getting uncomfortably close. “You stay away from him or I’ll make you pay.”

“Do your worse. I’m not afraid of you.” said Severus, meeting the man’s eyes steadily.

“Severus, my boy!” called Albus cheerfully, interrupting their staring contest. “I was hoping to catch you before you leave. You don’t mind Sirius, do you? I have to discuss a matter of some importance with Severus here.” he continued and guided him to the other side of the room, seemingly oblivious to the tension between them.

“Something wrong, Headmaster?” asked Severus impatiently, already in a dark mood.

“Minerva tells me you’re not staying at Hogwarts this summer.”

“I never do.”

“I know my boy, but things are different this year. You know you’re in danger.” said Albus, his expression turning grave. “I’m worried for your safety. I was hoping you would reconsider.”

“I’m not staying at Hogwarts.” Severus told him stubbornly, folding his arms over his chest in annoyance.

Albus sighed. “Where are you planning on staying then?” he asked in a tone that demanded a response.

“I’m going to check on my house. If I find that my wards have been disturbed, I’ll find somewhere else, otherwise I’ll add more wards and move in.” explained Severus.

The Headmaster nodded. “I’d feel better if you didn’t leave the school but I can see you’ve already made your decision. I must insist that you take someone from the order with you however.”

“With all due respect Headmaster …”

“Don’t argue with me, Severus. What if there’s already someone there waiting for you? What if someone has set a trap in your house? It’ll be foolish of you to go alone. Choose one of the order members to come with you. I’ll come myself if that’s what you wish.”

Severus ran a hand through his long hair in frustration. He hated it when Albus was right. He looked around the room critically. He trusted Albus more than anyone else in the room but he didn’t want the old man in his house. The Headmaster already knew too much about him and he needed to keep this piece of himself out of the man’s reach. He stopped his search when his black eyes found Lupin. The man had already been to his house and he wasn’t half bad in defense.

“You want Remus?” asked Albus, his eyes twinkling.

“He’ll do.” murmured Severus.

Albus went over to talk to the werewolf. Lupin, who had been hovering by the stove, talking to Molly and tasting her stew abandoned his bowl and agreed to accompany him without hesitation.


	35. Safety Check

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus reflects on his relationship with Severus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and leaving kudos, everyone. I hope you like the new chapter. Let me know what you think.

Remus followed Severus out of number twelve Grimmauld place. They both apparated to the river and started to walk down the street. As Remus struggled to keep up with the other man’s long strides, his mind started to wonder much like the last time he had been here. Spinner's End was one of the most depressing places he had seen and that was saying something. Remus had been wondering around Europe ever since James and Lily’s death, never staying in one place for too long, never feeling like he belonged anywhere. 

The idea of traveling, seeing all there was to the world might have been exciting when he was at school but the reality had been much grimmer. He had barely been able to keep himself fed and clothed, spending the full moons alone and recovering from them painstakingly slowly. Suffice it to say, he had not been able to afford to live comfortably. In spite of everything he’d been through, he couldn’t imagine what Severus’ childhood had been like in this neighborhood.

Severus had not been the most cheerful of people at school. Was it because of where he had grown up or due to being forced to suppress his nature, or had it been both?

“Was it like this here when you were growing up?” Remus blurted out before he could stop himself. He regretted it the moment the words were out of his mouth.

“What do you mean?” asked Severus without slowing down his pace.

Remus braced himself. “This neighborhood. It looks a bit …” he trailed off as he saw the other man tense.

“Poor?” offered Severus, clearly annoyed.

“I meant to say dangerous.” corrected Remus.

“You can go back if you want.”

“I didn’t say I wanted to go back. I just can’t imagine you growing up in a place like this.” said Remus.

Severus stopped in his tracks and turned to glare at him, his black eyes sharp.

“I don’t mean to offend you. It’s just …”

“Yes?”

“I wouldn’t want my child to grow up in a place like this.”

“Neither do people who live here.” Severus snapped and started walking again.

Remus followed him, cursing himself for opening his big mouth. They walked the rest of the way in tense silence.

As they reached the last house in the row, Remus took a deep breath and cleared his mind before drawing his wand. Severus did the same and opened the door.

The house was pretty much the same as the last time Remus had visited. They searched every room and casted spell after spell, but it seemed like no intruder had been in the house.

Once satisfied with the safety of his home, Severus pocketed his wand and opened the window to let the fresh air in.

“I’m sorry about earlier.” said Remus. “I really didn’t mean to upset you.”

Severus didn’t response and started to empty his pockets of shrunken luggage. Remus was about to say something when the man spoke. “Albus told me about Karkaroff, that he exposed you as a werewolf before leaving.” 

“Ah… that’s right.” said Remus, thrown off by the change of topic.

“Did it have something to do with me?” asked Severus, his expression unreadable.

“No. no, it didn’t. You weren’t even conscious, remember?” lied Remus.

Severus’ eyes narrowed. “It was because you wouldn’t let Karkaroff take me.” he stated.

Remus nodded. He didn’t hold Severus responsible for what had happened.

“Why? Why did you help me when it cost you so much?”

Remus couldn’t help but feel a little hurt at the question. “The same reason you tried to save Harry.” he said.

Severus shook his head. “I did it because I’m responsible for my students’ safety. You’re not responsible for me.”

“It was the right thing to do.”

“Is that why you helped me? Because it was the right thing to do?”

“Yes! And because we’re friends.” snapped Remus. He was angry now. He didn’t know why the other man’s words hurt so much, but they did. “Are we done here?” he asked, itching to get away from that house.

Severus shrugged. “By all means, leave.” he said. “Thank you for the help.” he added as Remus turned to leave. He didn’t look back.

…………………………………..

Remus had calmed down by the time he got to Sirius’ house. He was planning to scape to his room, but the smell of Molly’s cooking was still lingering in the house and he remembered how hungry he was. So instead, he headed for the kitchen. “Sirius.” he greeted his friend as he passed him on his way.

“What took you so long? What were you doing there with that git?” asked Sirius in an accusatory tone.

Remus sighed. “We checked his house and then I came back.” he answered, knowing it wouldn’t be the end of it.

“Why did you even go in the first place?”

“Because … because Severus is my friend and he needed help.” he said, opening the door to the kitchen. He headed straight for the pot that was sitting on the stove and picked up a bowl.

“Oh, really?”

Remus filled his bowl and took a spoonful, savoring the taste. “Why else would I go?” he retorted.

Sirius looked smug now. “Because you have the hots for him.” he said with a smirk.

Remus almost chocked on his stew. “What?!”

“Admit it! You’re always defending him and you go all poppy eyed when you see him.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“Come on, Remus. It’s me. I’ve known you since you were eleven.” said Sirius, his smirk widening. “I don’t blame you. He looks much better now, almost fuckable.”

“Who are you talking about?” asked someone from the other side of them room.

Remus turned to see Bill and Charlie sitting at the table. He felt himself blush.

“Snape.” said Sirius. “Our boy here has a crush on him but doesn’t want to admit it.”

“Stop it, Sirius.” snapped Remus and sat down next to the two brothers. “It’s good to see you again, Charlie.” he said and offered the young man a warm smile.

“Likewise.” said Charlie, returning his smile, even though it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Are you really into Snape?” asked Bill, making his brother frown.

“We’re friends, that’s all.” answered Remus and tried to concentrate on his food.

“So you didn’t fuck him while you were there?”

“No, Sirius. I didn’t and I wasn’t planning to.” 

“I’m just saying. If he looked like this when we were at school, I would have had a go at him sixth year.” said Sirius and turned to the Weasley brothers. “I was in the experimentation phase at the time.” he explained.

Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius started telling the story. He refilled his bowl and stepped out of the kitchen, marching to his room. He perched on his bed with his stew and wondered if there was some truth to what Sirius had said.


	36. Secret Keeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie realizes he's not good at keeping secrets.

Charlie sighed as he poured himself another cup of tea. He felt a weight on his shoulders, a sense of regret and shame which he was not brave enough to deal with. He came from a family of Gryffindors and his lack of courage added to his shame. He looked at the door again, wishing Severus would just show up. It had been a week since Charlie had come back to England and his lover had not visited the order headquarter even once. 

Charlie sighed again, If only he had gotten to number twelve Grimmauld Place an hour earlier that first day things would be different now. He could have talked to Severus and explained everything. They would have found a way to move on, or else broken up for good. He would have contacted the man if he knew where he lived. Remus had mentioned that Severus had moved out of Hogwarts for the summer and Charlie was not going to ask for more details. Nobody knew about their affair, except perhaps for McGonagall and Pomfrey, and Charlie didn’t want to tell Remus of all people.

“Charlie, come give me a hand. Bill, call the others. Lunch is about ready.” ordered his mother, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“Set the table, will you dear?” said Molly as he entered the kitchen.

Charlie complied without saying anything, preoccupied.

“Don’t be that way, Charlie. All I said was that you needed to cut your hair.”

“What?” asked Charlie, stopping mid-motion. 

“You know exactly what I mean! You’ve barely said two words to me since you came.” Molly accused. 

Charlie rubbed at his forehead. “I’m not mad at you, mom. I just have a lot on my mind. That’s all.” he said, then glanced at his father who was pretending to read the paper.

“I wish you’d just tell me what’s wrong. You didn’t even come home for Christmas and now that you’re here, you’re acting like you don’t want to spend any time with us.”

“It’s not like that.” he protested.

“Have you met a girl?” asked Arthur, finally putting the paper down.

“Dad!”

“Come on, son. We just want to meet her. We won’t embarrass you, I promise.”

“There’s no girl. What makes you …” Charlie started to say when a sharp tap to the window interrupted him. Recognizing the brown owl outside the window, he rushed over to let the bird in. Gagan flew in and landed on the table. He gave Charlie a once over, tilting his head to one side, then hooted as if in recognition.

‘Is that for me?’ he wanted to ask as his eyes fell on the letter tied to Gagan’s leg, but stopped himself and instead reached over to take the owl’s burden.

“Wow! That’s a nice owl. Whose is it?” asked Bill, walking into the kitchen.

“Didn’t you send us a letter with that owl Charlie?” asked his mother.

Charlie froze for a moment. “I did?” he said, trying to sound casual.

“You don’t remember? You wrote to us after Harry won the tournament’s first task.” said Molly. “Isn’t it the same owl, Arthur?”

“I think it is. I hadn’t seen another bird like this before. I wanted to take a closer look, but it flew away right after delivering the letter.”

“Oh, I remember now. It’s from Hogwarts.” said Charlie, swallowing hard.

“Who is the letter for?” 

Charlie blinked in confusion for a second, then remembered the envelope in his hand. “It says … Remus Lupin.” he read. If it was for anyone else he would have been relived but at seeing Remus’ name he felt a pang of jealousy. Charlie dropped the letter to the table and glanced at the door. He could hear multiple footsteps outside. A few minutes later Ginny, Ron and Harry enter the kitchen followed by Remus, Sirius and the twins.

“That’s Professor Snape’s owl!” exclaimed Harry. “What’s it doing here?”

“Is the owl Professor Snape’s?” asked Molly, her eyebrows rising.

“Yeah, he … he let me borrow it.” admitted Charlie, blushing a little.

His parents exchanged a look. 

“That was nice of him.” said his father.

“Is that for me?” asked Remus, picking up the letter. “Just as I thought. It’s a list of ingredients Severus needs for those potions he’s brewing for the order.”

“Why is he sending it to you?” asked Sirius.

“Because I offered to help.” answered the man.

Charlie greeted his teeth and tried to tune out Sirius and Remus’ bickering. He ate his lunch quickly and slipped out of the kitchen, cursing when he heard Bill call after him.

“Hold on Charlie, I want to talk to you.” said Bill, then grabbed his arm and dragged him into the library. “What’s going on with you?” he asked once he made sure they were alone.

Charlie sighed in frustration. “I’ve already gone over this with mom and dad, there’s nothing wrong with me.” he grumbled.

“Then why do you get twitchy every time someone talks about Snape? Are you sleeping with him?”

“I’m not… What do you …” Carlie tried to lie but gave up at the skeptical look on his brother’s face. “Fine, I’ve slept with him.”

“More than once?”

“Twice. I mean, we got together twice. It happened a few times.” said Charlie, blushing.

Bill leaned against one of the bookshelves, smirking. “Is he good?”

Charlie nodded and smirked back.

“Do you like him?” 

“I think I do. He’s so different from everyone else and he’s completely opposite of what you’d expect. He’s tender and passionate and caring and …” Charlie paused, trying to come up with the right word.

“And half-elf?” supplied Bill, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. That’s why I was attracted to him in the first place.”

Bill snorted. “You were always the odd one, Charlie.” he said.

“Why? Because I didn’t want to study Arithmancy and work for Gringotts?” Charlie retorted.

Bill chuckled and shook his head. “When are you going to tell mom and dad?” he asked.

“I don’t want to tell them. I’m not even sure if we’re going to get serious or not. Telling mom and dad will only make things more awkward.” answered Charlie.

“The way you’re carrying out, they’re going to find out sooner or later.” Bill pointed out. 

Charlie sighed. “I don’t really know much about him. I’ve tried but he doesn’t like to talk about himself.”

“You’re just going to have to try harder or break it off. Snape’s not someone you’d want to fool around with, not if you want to keep it quiet. He’s been our teacher, he still teaches our brothers and sister and he’s part of the order.”

“I wish it was that easy.” murmured Charlie. First he had to tell Severus what he had done. Who knew how the man would react? And the whole thing with Remus was making things more complicated. “I’ll talk to him as soon as I can.” he said finally.


	37. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus talks to Severus about his feelings.

Severus was so immersed in his brewing that he almost missed the knock on the open door. His heart skipped a bit as he looked up from the bubbling cauldron. His anticipation was soon replaced by irritation however, once he saw who was standing in the doorway.

“Hello, Severus. I hope I’m not interrupting.” said Lupin, smiling apologetically.

“You are.” 

“Errr … Do you want me to come back later? I could go for a walk or visit Hagrid.” offered Lupin.

Severus sighed. “Just come in and sit down for a moment.” he said and started to stir the healing potion clockwise. “Your wolfsbane’s ready, but it needs to cool down.” he added once he was done and moved to the cutting board to cut the daisy roots.

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” said Lupin and sat on the other side of his worktable.

“Did you tell the others I was doing order’s brewing at Hogwarts?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Yes, I told them. Albus already knew, of course.” answered Lupin distractedly. “It’s really a treat to watch you brew. Have you ever considered letting your students see you work? It’ll inspire them.”

“No, Lupin. I wouldn’t want them around while I’m brewing. Not only could they sabotage my work, they’d ruin the precious little time I get to myself.” replied Severus with a sneer. He had hoped Charles would find his way to his lab to fetch the wolfsbane for Lupin. He wondered if he had to find a less subtle way to invite his lover over, as he added the roots to the cauldron and stirred again.

“Can I ask you something? Something personal?” asked Lupin after a few minutes of peace.

“You may ask, but I might not answer.”

“Fair enough.” agreed the blonde and ran a hand through his graying hair, deep in thought. “You’ve been in love with Lily since we were at Hogwarts. I mean I don’t know if you’re still in love with her or not. Or if you were actually in love with her back then or just assumed you were because of your patronus…” he trailed off.

Severus stopped in his motions. He did not like to think about Lily. Even the happiest memories he had of her were tainted with hurt, betrayal and guilt. “What is your question?” he snapped.

Lupin paused for a moment, unsure of himself. “Have you ever been interested in anyone else?” he asked finally.

“I’m not a virgin if that’s what you’re asking.” answered Severus, frowning.

“That’s not what I meant.” murmured Lupin, shaking his head. “What I want to know is whether you think you could love someone else?”

“Why would you …?”

“I’m attracted to you Severus. I think we would be a good couple. We’ve known each other for years and we have a lot of things in common.” said the other man, leaning closer. “I meant what I said the other day, I consider you my friend. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, so I need to know if you’re open for a serious relationship.” he finished as he reached over and took Severus’ potion stained hand in his own.

Severus stared at him, stunned. He looked into Lupin’s warm golden eyes, seeing his sincerity. It was the first time someone, anyone had declared affection for him like this. He had never been nice to the man, always shrugging off his clumsy attempts at friendship and ridiculing him any chance he got. Yet Lupin actually cared about him. He was deeply touched. He gently squeezed the hand holding his own but pulled away. “I’m sorry, Remus. I’ve been seeing someone else.” he breathed. Guilt twisted his gut when he saw the disappointment in the warm eyes.

“Oh.” was all the man said.

They stood there in awkward silence for a moment. Severus picked up his knife and started preparing the rest of the ingredients.

“Is it serious? Your relationship, I mean.” said Lupin quietly.

“No, not really. We’ve been taking things slow, but I like him.” answered Severus honestly.

“If you weren’t involved with anyone. Do you think we could start something?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.” said Severus. “You said we had a lot of things in common. I’m not sure you’re right about that.” he continued, wondering what it would be like to be in a relationship with the werewolf. He could see them spending an afternoon together. Lupin curled up by the fire, reading one of those ridiculous novels and him at his desk, reading a potions journal and taking notes.

“We’ve both been struggling with hiding who we are since we were children. We were both exposed to the world and have to deal with the consequences every day. There aren’t that many people that could understand what that’s like.”

Severus nodded, that was true enough. But were their similarities enough to make up for the past? Lupin had not been his tormenter but he had played a part, covering up for his friends. He’d laugh sometimes and the looks he used to give him were filled with dislike and distrust. “Your friend Black told me something the other day. He said he thought I had something to do with what happened at that graveyard to Harry. Did you think I was involved as well?” he asked, giving the other man a searching look.

“No, Severus. Of course not.” answered Lupin hastily. “I know you were only trying to protect them. You risked your own life and managed to save Cedric. Of course you didn’t have anything to do with it. Barty Crouch confessed to everything.” he reassured. “You shouldn’t really take what Sirius said seriously. He’s mostly recovered from his years in Azkaban but he needs more time to heal. He acts irrationally now and again. That day, when Harry and Cedric disappeared, you weren’t there and naturally he thought you had something to do with it. You must admit it was a little suspicious.”

There it was, Lupin had been suspicious of him. He didn’t believe he was involved now, but he had been thinking the worst of him at that moment. “I suppose you’re right.” said Severus. He added the last ingredients to his potion and moved to the other side of the lab and ladled the wolfsbane potion into a goblet. Could he really begrudge Lupin for the small amount of distrust? The man was right. They had known each other for a long time. Lupin had seen him at his low moments, knew how mean he could be, how petty he could get. Charles saw him as a pure creature who couldn’t cause harm. He knew in his heart his lover wasn’t capable of thinking of him as dark and twisted, but perhaps that was because he didn’t really know him. 

“Thank you, Severus.” said Lupin, accepting the goblet from him.

Severus only nodded. He stood there as the man drank the potion, watched him leave and stood there transfixed long after he was gone. Throwing caution to the wind, he picked up a piece of parchment and wrote down a short note. He got Gagan and attached the note to his leg. He had to see Charles. He didn’t know what he’d tell him when he got there but they needed to talk.


	38. The Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Charlie get a chance to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone!
> 
> It's been a while, hasn't it? I was very busy for a few weeks, but now I'm going to try and update more often. I hope you like the new chapter. Let me know what you think.

Severus bottled and labeled the last of the order’s potions, then started pacing. He was already regretting sending that message. He had never been in a relationship before, he had never wanted to get attached. The thought of getting rejected terrified him.

‘You have to calm down’, Severus told himself and stopped pacing. He took a deep breath and emptied his mind of the negative thoughts. Whatever happened he had to get through this with his dignity intact. Once he managed to gather himself, he started to clean up and organized his lab. He was almost done when the door burst open and Charles came in. His face was flushed and he had an alarmed look in his eyes. 

“I came as soon as I could. What’s wrong?” he asked.

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Everything’s fine.” he answered slowly. “Why made you think something was wrong?”

“I thought … you haven’t contacted me since I came back. When I saw your owl, I got worried.” explained Charles, looking embarrassed.

“I didn’t know if I should send an owl. Albus said your family was staying at Grimmauld Place and with your parents there, I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. I thought if you knew I was brewing at Hogwarts, you might drop by to collect Lupin’s wolfsbane.”

“I thought of that but Remus was pretty eager to come and see you himself.” said Charles, a hint of bitterness creeping in his voice.

Severus sighed. “It doesn’t matter, you’re here now. There’s something I need to tell you. Why don’t you take a seat?” he said and sat on a stool, summoning one for the other man.

“No, me first!” Charles blurted out, not sitting down. “There’s something you should know.”

“Alright.” murmured Severus, folding his hands to stop himself from fidgeting.

“I slept with someone else.”

“You what?!”

“There was a party and I had a little too much to drink. Then I heard that you’ve gotten hurt and I felt horrible.”

“So, those flowers you sent … it was because you felt guilty?” whispered Severus, feeling his insides clench. He had treasured the beautiful flowers, taken care of them and had planted them in his garden in Spinner’s End.

“I’m sorry, Severus. I really am. I like you, but … we never said we wanted to be exclusive. I don’t know where I stand with you. You’re not easy to talk to.”

“Now you’re saying it’s my fault?!” yelled Severus, jumping out of his seat.

“That’s not what I’m saying! I made a mistake.” said Charles. “I just …”

“Stop talking.” snapped Severus and moved to the other side of the room. He ran a hand over his face. He had to keep his dignity, he reminded himself. “It’s fine. I understand.” he said finally.

“You do?”

“These things happen. You’re young, you’re attractive. I shouldn’t have expected you to …” he trailed off. He should have known better.

Charles was quiet for a moment, not meeting his eyes. “Do you think you could … give me another chance?” he asked.

“Another chance for what?” snapped Severus.

“To get to know you.” said Charles, looking at him with hopeful eyes. “I like you Severus. The time we spent together was amazing, but I want more. I want to get closer. It can’t happen if you don't let me in. I don’t even know if you like me or if you’re looking for anything serious.”

“Liked you better when you hadn’t cheated on me.” Severus sneered halfheartedly. 

“I promise it won’t happen again. Would you give me another chance?”

Severus didn’t answer for a few minutes. He was torn. How could he trust someone who had already betrayed him? Then again, he couldn’t deny that there was some truth to what the man said. They had spent all of two nights together and had hardly talked to each other. It had meant something to Severus but he had tried hard not to let it show.

“Can you at least forgive me?” asked Charles in a small voice as the silence stretched.

“Yes.” answered Severus reflexively. He didn’t exactly have a forgiving heart but he knew how much it hurt when someone ignored your apology and he had lived with guilt and regret long enough not to wish it on someone else. “I forgive you.”

“Thank you.” said Charles. He stepped closer and kissed Severus on the cheek, lingering.

Severus’ breath hitched. He craved the other man’s touch. He longed to pressed his lips against the taller man’s and run his hands over his firm body. The boy was warm and kind and he wanted him all to himself. “If I do give you another chance,” he started, cursing himself for his weakness. “If you betray me again…”

“It’ll never happen.”

“If you do. You won’t be this handsome when I’m done with you.” finished Severus, his eyes burning with hurt and anger and lust.

Charles cupped his cheek in his large hand, a soft smile forming on his lips. “Can I kiss you?” he asked softly.

Severus attacked the man’s mouth in response and felt the strong arms wrap around him. They kept kissing until they both ran out of air. “Let’s go to my rooms.” Severus breathed against his lovers’ neck.

“I’d like that but I think we should talk first.” said Charles, pulling away.

“We already did.”

“I want to know you better, Severus. I need you to tell me something about yourself.”

“What do you want to know?” asked Severus, folding his arms over his chest defensively.

“Anything.” answered Charles and sat on one of the stools. “Tell me something that’s important to you.”

Severus took a deep breath. He was afraid. He didn’t want Charles to know him for who he really was because there wasn’t much he actually liked about himself. He wasn’t a coward, though, he told himself. “I used to be a Death Eater.” he said, going right for the kill.

Charles looked taken aback. 

“I took the mark when I was barely out of school.” he added, unable to stop himself. He knew he was ruining his chances with the man. He wanted to keep Charles close but at the same time couldn’t help pushing him away. It would happen eventually.

“I didn’t see anything on your arm.”

“It came off. When I stopped taking the cloaking potion and the potion lost its effect, the mark came off.”

“I see.” murmured Charles. “Why did you do it? Why did you take the mark?”

“I … I was angry. I wanted to get revenge. I grew up poor and unloved and I was bullied at school. I wanted to take revenge on the world that was so cruel to me.”

“You had just lost your mother.” Charles reminded him. There was compassion in his eyes. “You were too young to know what you were doing.”

“Perhaps.”

“You didn’t actually hurt anyone, did you?”

“No, I didn’t.” agreed Severus. “The first time I was at a meeting, I saw someone get tortured and I passed out. My … friend convinced the dark Lord to have me do other things like brewing, research and gathering information. I didn’t hurt anyone directly but …” he trailed off.

“Did you regret it? Taking the mark?”

“I did, every day. I liked to pretend that I was tough like the rest of them but I didn’t have it in me and I was too much of a coward to defy the dark Lord. One day, the information I brought endangered someone I cared about. I started spying for Dumbledore after that and promised myself not to act like a coward again.”

“You seem very brave to me.” Charles reassured. “Thank you for telling me all this. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you.” he continued and took Severus’ hand, pulling him closer.

“You still want to …? I didn’t scare you off?” asked Severus uncertainly. He had not expected this much acceptance and understanding.

Charles smiled at him fondly. “I’ve never been this attracted to you.” he said and leaned forward for a kiss.

This time Severus was the one to pull back. “This guy you slept with.” he started. “Do you see him on the regular basis?” 

“I do. He’s a dragon keeper, too.” confessed Charles.

“Hmmm.”

“I can change my schedule so that I don’t run into him that often.”

“Good.” said Severus.

“Can we go to your rooms?” asked Charles, his voice hoarse with need.

Severus nodded and led the way. He was still uncertain as they undressed and climbed on the bed, kissing and touching each other. Charles took his time, exploring his body, making him feel loved and wanted. He entered him with care and made love to him slow and sweet, putting small kisses on his forehead and temples, caressing his hair, whispering his name over and over, showing him how much he appreciated him and how sorry he was for betraying him. ‘It wouldn’t last’ a voice in Severus’ head reminded him. ‘He’s going to break your heart’. It was painful to think one day he would lose all this warmth and tenderness but he was going to enjoy it as long as it lasted.


	39. The Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dumbledore finds Marvolo Gaunt’s ring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter I have borrowed a few lines from 'Harry potter book7, chapter 33'.

Severus woke up with an uneasy feeling. There were warm arms holding him close and his head was resting against a broad chest, which was rising and falling with steady rhythm. He blinked a few times to clear his head and slowly disentangled himself from his lover’s embrace. Severus stared down at the young man’s peaceful face and reached over to brush the ginger hair away from his forehead. He bent down to place a kiss on the soft skin he found there, when the foreboding feeling intensified.

Severus sat up straighter and looked around the room. He frowned when he noticed a silvery mist in the corner, he climbed out of bed and kneeled in front it. The light intensified and Albus’ weak voice filled the room. “Need help …my office.”

Severus wasted no time. He wrapped his naked body in his dressing gown and pulled a pair of boots out of his wardrobe.

“Severus? What was that?” Charles whispered groggily.

“Albus needs me in his office. It’s an emergency.” said Severus as he put on his boots. “You should leave.” he added and picked up his wand from the bedside table.

“I can’t just leave.” murmured Charles. “Tell me what happened, maybe I can help.”

“I don’t have time for this! Stay if you want.” snapped Severus. He didn’t wait for a response and ran out of his quarters. He ran up the staircases and along the corridors and didn’t slow down until he reached the Headmaster’s office.

Albus was sprawled on the carpet in front of his desk, holding his arm to his chest. On his desk lay an ancient looking ring. It was cracked; the sword of Gryffindor lay beside it. 

Severus rushed over and forced the injured arm out of the man’s hold. The burnt flesh was warm under his fingers. He could feel the dark magic vibrating beneath the blackened surface. The discoloration intensified noticeably on the ring finger. Albus had put on a cursed ring, the old fool!

Praying that he wasn’t too late, Severus put the tip of his wand on Albus’ hand and started chanting. The curse was strong. It raged and lashed out against the intrusion, but Severus didn’t back down. He tried a different counter curse, putting more power behind it. The curse didn’t budge this time either, so Severus tried again and again. This curse was unlike anything he had encountered before. He didn’t know how to reverse it and the spells he knew were no match for it. The curse had been there for a while and had rooted itself into the flesh. He couldn’t save the affected area, he decided and he couldn’t get rid of the curse, so he settled for trying to contain it as best as he could.

Severus didn’t know how long he sat there chanting, but in the end he managed to stop the curse from spreading at the speed it was. He took a moment to collect himself and took a couple of deep breath to fight the dizziness that threatened to overtake him. He then turned his attention to his patient and took his vitals. Albus’ pulse was weak and his breathing was ragged. Severus casted a few spells to stabilize him and then levitated the man to the chair behind his desk.

“I’ll be right back. I’m going to make you a potion.” he told the barely conscious Headmaster, then flooed to his quarters. He went straight to his private lab and started pulling the ingredients out of the shelves, his heart hammering in his chest. He filled his cauldron with water and picked up his silver blade.

“Severus, is that you?” came Charles’ voice.

“I’m in the lab.” Severus called back.

A moment later the door opened. “You look pale. What happened?” asked Charles, stepping closer.

“Albus got cursed. I have to make him a potion.” answered Severus, not looking up from his work.

“Do you need help?” offered the other man.

“No, you’ll just slow me down.” murmured Severus.

Charles stood there quietly, watching him work and for about ten minutes the sound of the knife on the chopping board and the bobbling cauldron filled the room. Severus worked as fast as he could, chopping, grinding and stirring, almost cutting himself twice and burning one of his fingers. He kept going, until the potion turned yellow and needed to simmer.

Severus set a timer, then sank down on a stool burying his face in his hands. Strong arms wrapped around his shoulders.

“Are you alright?” asked Charles, concern evident in his voice.

Severus nodded and looked up into his lover’s face for the first time. “I’m sorry I was short with you before.” he said tiredly.

“You don’t have to apologize. You were stressed.” said Charles, smiling. “Is Dumbledore going to be fine?”

“Yes, He’ll be fine.” lied Severus. The curse was still there and it was going to spread eventually, reaching Albus’ heart. “He needs to take this potion and rest.” he continued with a sigh.

“How did he get cursed?”

“I don’t know.”

“He was lucky you were here.” commented Charles.

“I suppose.” murmured Severus. The Weasleys all loved Albus, so did the rest of the order. They all looked up to him for guidance. Were they going to make it without him?

He was pulled out of these thoughts when the timer went off. Severus ladled the now golden concoction and filled a large goblet. “I should take this to Albus and probably stay with him for a few hours.”

“I’ll go home, then.” said Charles. “Unless you need my help?”

“There’s nothing much left to do. I don’t even know if I should have told you what happened.”

“I’ll keep it to myself.” promised Charles and gave him a kiss goodbye.

Severus kissed him back and once more made his way to the Headmaster’s office, his mind whirling. He might have been able to control the curse if Albus had called him sooner. The old man was going to die and there wasn’t anything he could do. He was going to lose one of the few people he had ever considered a friend.

He found Albus where he had left him, in his throne-like chair behind the desk. Severus pointed his wand at the wrist of the burned hand and started muttering incantations while he tipped the thick golden potion down Albus’ throat with his left hand. After a moment or two, the old man’s eyelids fluttered and opened.

“Why,” said Severus, without preamble, “why did you put on that ring? It carries a curse, surely you realized that. Why even touch it?”

Albus grimaced.

“I . . . was a fool. Sorely tempted . . .”

“Tempted by what?”

Albus did not answer.

“It is a miracle you managed to return here!” Severus snapped, furious. “That ring carried a curse of extraordinary power, to contain it is all we can hope for; I have trapped the curse in one hand for the time being —”

Albus raised his blackened, useless hand, and examined it with the expression of one being shown an interesting curio.

“You have done very well, Severus. How long do you think I have?”

Albus’ tone was conversational; he might have been asking for a weather forecast. Severus hesitated, and then said, “I cannot tell. Maybe a year. There is no halting such a spell forever. It will spread eventually, it is the sort of curse that strengthens over time.”

Albus smiled. The news that he had less than a year to live seemed a matter of little or no concern to him.

“I am fortunate, extremely fortunate, that I have you, Severus.”

“If you had only summoned me a little earlier, I might have been able to do more, buy you more time!” said Severus furiously.

He looked down at the broken ring and the sword. “Did you think that breaking the ring would break the curse?”

“Something like that . . . I was delirious, no doubt. . . .” said Albus, trying to straighten himself in his chair.

“Hold on.” murmured Severus and pushing the man back down. “There’s something I haven’t tried, yet.”

“What do you …”

“Just be quiet and hold still.” snapped Severus. He placed the empty goblet on the desk and put away his wand. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of using his elf magic before. He held the injured hand in his own and closed his eyes. Pushing down his anger, frustration and grief, Severus focused on his magic. His hands started to warm up, he could feel his magic fighting against the curse and little by little, it pushed the dark magic out of Albus’ hand.

Once he was sure the curse was gone Severus withdrew his hands, sighing in relief, and opened his eyes. He reached to pull his sweaty hair out of his eyes, when he realized he was shaking.

“It’s gone.” said Albus in awe, examining his burned hand once more. “You pushed the curse out.”

Severus grabbed the edge of the table to steady himself. “I need to sit down.” he rasped.

Albus rose and helped Severus lower himself in his chair. “I think we can both use some tea.” he said, slowly making his way to personal rooms.

Severus leaned back against the comfortable chair and wondered what would happen if someone came in, seeing him in his dressing gown at the Headmaster’s desk this late in the night.


	40. Chapter 40

Albus Dumbledore sat behind his desk, checking the list of candidates for the DADA position. He had heard the Minister was planning to install one of his secretaries at Hogwarts and the Headmaster was positive this Ministry employee was going to occupy the supposedly cursed post. He had to act fast and find someone qualified himself, but his options were limited. The only one he could think of was Severus. He was certainly knowledgeable in the field and had fourteen years of teaching experience. Albus had refused to give him the post in the past, mostly because he needed the potion Master at Hogwarts and the DADA teachers never lasted more than a year. He had already promised to let Severus go after the upcoming school year, so that was no longer an issue. This would also open up the potion professor position and he was hoping to convince Horace Slughorn to come back. He needed to see Horace’s memory and so far he hadn’t had any luck.

Albus looked down and realized he was rubbing at the blackened skin of his right hand with his other hand. He had been doing that a lot in the past few days, especially when he was stressed. He could still feel the warmth of Severus’ magic tingling under his skin and it calmed him down. The healing magic had been unlike anything he had ever experienced in his long life. He had felt wounded and hollow ever since the day he had caused his sweet sister’s death and for those few minutes, feeling Severus’ magic, he had felt whole again. It was odd that this much warmth came from someone so foul tempered and sour. Severus’ elf blood made him unable to harm living things but his healing abilities were not hereditary; it was a rare gift between the elves and having felt it firsthand Albus was certain it came from the purity of his soul and not his blood.

Albus had known Severus since he was a teenager and yet he had only started to understand him. Severus had been a brilliant little boy, spiteful and unfriendly yes but also intelligent and sharp. His black eyes had been full of passion and thirst, before he had learned to hide his emotions. Albus was always hard on the boy. Severus had been in dire need of positive attention and he had been blind to it. He had been biased towards the boy, because he saw Gellert in him. He kept accusing Severus of being unfair towards Harry because of his resemblance to James and yet, he himself was guilty of the same thing.

Albus blinked back unshed tears. Gellert Grindelwald had been his friend and lover before turning into the feared dark Lord. He had been intelligent like Severus and he had the same look in his eyes. His fascination with the dark arts had been his undoing. It had changed him, turning him into a monster and Albus had been the one who had to cage the blood thirsty beast. He had still loved the man, but had found no trace of love in Gellert as they stood against each other and had known at that moment that his old friend was lost. It had taken away all the doubt and conflicted feelings and made imprisoning his lover rather easy. Albus had lost a piece of himself that day. He had turned into a hard calculating man, who used his insight in people to manipulate them. He used his powers for good but made mistakes along the way as well.

He had been wrong about Severus. Unlike Gellert, Severus was capable of love even after becoming a Death Eater and surprisingly his soul had remained pure, enabling him to heal. Albus sighed and let go of his black hand. There was a war in the horizon and he had too many responsibilities to sit around dueling on the past. He rose from his throne like chair and move to the fireplace. Picking up a handful of floo powder, he called for Severus. A moment later, the potion Master came through to his office.

“Headmaster.” greeted Severus. “You seem to have recovered.”

“Yes, I’m feeling much better. Thanks to you.” said Albus with a smile. Severus himself had not been in the best of shapes that night due to overusing his magic and he still looked too pale.

“Why did you want to see me Albus? We’re supposed to go to the order meeting in a few minutes.”

“There’s something I need to ask of you. Please take a sit.” he said. The younger man sighed but complied. Albus paused, arranging the parchments on his desk. “How do you feel about teaching defense against the dark arts this year?” he asked finally.

Severus looked taken aback for a moment before his eyes flashed with anger and his jaw tightened. “Now?! You want me to teach defense now? All these years you turned me down and you want me to take the post now? I stop applying and you offer me the position?”

“Teaching potions has always suited you more, but right now I need you to teach defense. The Minister is planning to send one of his employees at Hogwarts and I have to hire a suitable teacher and get the school board’s approval before Fudge assigns someone.”

“That’s not my problem.”

“Severus, please. No one who has applied this year is even partially qualified.”

“And you think I’m qualified?” snapped Severus, his lips tightening.

“Of course I do.” said Albus sincerely.

“Are you insane old man? I can’t cast most of the spells in the curriculum. How am I supposed to teach them?”

Albus frowned. “I know you can’t cast the harmful spells but I’m sure there’s plenty that …”

“I can’t disarm people because it’ll knock them off their feet, I can’t trip them, I can’t tie them, I can’t sting them. Basically anything that has the potential to cause harm is out of the question. The only spells I can use are counter spells, shields and summoning my patronus.”

Albus leaned back in his chair. He had not realized Severus’ magic was limited to this extend. This could cause problems in the future. “Anything you can teach them would be better than having a mole at the school.” he said.

Severus shook his head. “No.”

“Severus, please …”

“I said no! We had a deal. If I’m uncomfortable with doing something you shouldn’t push me. The teacher needs to control the class, keep an eye on the students and I won’t be able to do that. And I certainly don’t need those brats to find more reasons to mock me.”

“They don’t mock you.” said Albus. Severus snorted in response. “Very well. If you’re not willing I won’t push you.” he conceded.

“Thank you.”

“I think it’s time to go to the headquarters. Shall we leave now?” said Albus, rising from his seat and picking up the floo powder.

Severus nodded and grabbed a handful. “After you, Headmaster.”

Albus threw the powder in the fireplace and yelled out their destination. They landed in the see of order members. Albus smiled to himself as he saw the children by the stairs, being ushered away by Molly. He greeted the members, exchanging pleasantries. When he reached the Weasleys’ second son, Charlie, the young man’s eyes immediately darted to his blackened hand. Albus frowned. Severus was the only one who knew and he wasn’t a blabber mouth by any means. Perhaps young Charlie had been there that night. He looked between Charlie and Severus. The younger one of the two blushed but the elder gave nothing away. Albus felt his eyes twinkling. If Charlie had been with Severus that late into the night it could only mean one thing. Minerva had mentioned something along those lines before but Albus had not taken it seriously.

Throughout the meeting, Albus watched the two of them with amusement. Charlie kept looking in Severus’ direction. Severus was more discrete of course, but if you knew what you were looking for you’d see his features softening ever so slightly when his eyes fell on the redhead. All too soon the meeting came to a close. The members started talking among themselves and Remus went upstairs to fetch the children for dinner.

Molly was just about to serve the food when Severus cut off his conversation with Kingsley Shacklebolt and turned to leave.

“You’re not leaving, are you?” asked Charlie. “Mom made potato salad so that you can eat with us. You should stay for dinner.”

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the redhead.

“Yes, please stay Professor.” added Molly kindly.

“I suppose I could stay a little longer.” said Severus after a small pause.

“Please everyone, take your seats. Dinner is ready.” said Molly as she set the table with a wave of her wand and placed the food in the center.

Once they were all seated, Albus realized that Severus and Charlie were sitting right next to each other. He was not the only one taking notice, he could see Sirius giving the two of them an odd look. The Black heir snorted when Charlie picked up the bowl filled with potato salad and handed it to Severus.

“You have something to say, Sirius?” snapped the redhead.

“Why do you care so much if he stays for dinner? Nobody wants him here anyways.” said Sirius with a scowl.

“I do!” objected Charlie.

“Well, I don’t and this is my house.” 

Severus’ expression darkened. “Lucky for you, Black. I don’t have any desire to stay in your proximity longer than I have to.” he said, rising from his chair.

Charlie grabbed his arm. “Don’t listen to him. He’s just being an ass.” he said, glaring draggers at Sirius. “You better watch yourself, Sirius. I’m sick and tired of your behavior and the way you talk about him when he’s not here.”

“What are you, his boyfriend?” retorted Sirius.

“What if I am?” Charlie shut back.

All the order members looked shocked, which Albus found amusing. A few people gasped and Remus dropped his glass, spilling pumpkin juice all over his own plate.

“Oh my god! Snape’s …” exclaimed Fred.

“… Your secret boyfriend.” finished George.

“Charlie, is this true?” asked Molly, coming out of her trace. “Are you … with … with Professor Snape?”

“He was your teacher! He’s still teaching your brothers and sister.” said Arthur, disapprovingly.

“Why does it matter? I like him.”

“You like Snape?!” said Ron in disbelief. “But he’s …” he paused as his older brother glared at him. “He’s old. He’s like twice your age.”

“He’s not twice my age.”

“He’s still old!”

“Ron has a point, son.” said Arthur.

“Clearly, you don’t need me here for this conversation.” snapped Severus and stormed out.

Charlie went after him only to come back a few minutes later. “I couldn’t catch him. Thanks a lot.” he said, crossing your arms over his chest.

“I think you need to give us and explanation, Charlie.” said Molly.

“There’s nothing to explain. I told you, I like him.”

“You’ve obviously lost your mind. Are you sure he’s not slipping you anything?” said Sirius.

Charlie drew his wand. “I warned you!”

Sirius drew his own wand, raising to his full height which was a little shorter than Charlie.

“Now, now. Everyone, please calm down. There’s no need with this.” Albus interjected. “I think we should all leave and let Charlie and his family talk this out.” he added, turning to the others.

The order members started leaving. Albus nodded to Molly and Arthur and gave Charlie a wink before making his way to the front door, humming to himself merrily.


	41. Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Remus find a new understanding.

Severus apparated to a side alley and made his way to Grimmauld place, asking himself for the tenth time why he was doing this. Under normal circumstances he would have avoided Charles and his family for as long as possible, but he needed to check on Lupin. He had had an uneasy feeling since morning and he knew it wasn't going away until he talked to the man.

It had all started with Albus, as it usually did. The Headmaster had floo called him to say that Severus did not need to brew the wolfsbane potion that month because Lupin was going on a mission and was not going to be in England on the full moon. The real reason Albus had called of course had been to pry in his relationship with Charles, the infuriating busybody that he was. 

As odd as it was, Severus was worried for Lupin. The man had gone on missions before but never for more than a few days.

Taking a deep breath, Severus knocked on the door. He prayed for Black or Potter or better yet, Lupin himself to open the door. As always his prayer went unanswered and he was met with his lover's handsome features.

Charles looked relieved to see him and pulled him in a hug. Severus closed his eyes for a moment as the other man's masculine sent hit his senses before pulling away.

"Where have you been? You weren't at Hogwarts and I didn't know how to reach you. I don't understand why you don't give me your address." said Charlie, as he stepped aside to let him in.

"Why did you need to reach me?"

"Because ... You stormed out of here the other night and I wanted to make sure we were alright."

Severus looked up into the deep blue eyes and sighed. "In case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm not exactly a sociable person. I don't like to discuss my personal life in public and I don't appreciate being put on the spot."

"I'm sorry. I know it made you uncomfortable, but we couldn't have kept it a secret forever."

"We can talk about it later. I came to see Lupin."

Charles' expression darkened and he crossed his arms across his chest. "You came over to talk to Remus." he stated.

It was moments like this that Severus remembered how young his lover really was. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"I was worried sick. You hide away for four days and come back only to blow me off."

"I wasn't hiding away. I was done with my brewing and I went back to my house."

"Your house." repeated Charles. "Where I'm not welcomed."

"There are only four or five people alive who know where I live. It's the only reason I'm safe there."

"So, you trust Remus with your safety and not me."

Severus gritted his teeth together in frustration. "I don't have time to argue with you! I have to talk to Lupin before he goes on his mission. It's important." he snapped.

Charles glared at him, Severus glared back. "He's upstairs taking a shower." said the younger man finally.

Severus glance at the staircase, debating over whether he should go upstairs. He decided against it, unwilling to chance running into Lupin while he was indecent. "I suppose I should wait." he told Charles.

"He fancies you. I can see it in his eyes." Charles blurted out. 

"I know. He told me." said Severus.

"Is that why you want to talk to him?"

"Yes, but it's not what you think."

"What is it then?"

"He looked ... shocked, when you announced we were together and now he's going on a mission. I need to make sure he's not going to do anything stupid."

The crazy glint that was shining in Charles' eyes suddenly left, replaced by concern. "You really think he's doing this to harm himself?"

"I don't know. I'm probably reading too much into this but I need to make sure he's alright before he leaves.”

Charles nodded. They were both silent for a few minutes. “Listen Severus, my parents are in the kitchen. Would you come talk to them while you wait for Remus?” he asked hesitantly.

“I have no desire to speak to your parents.”

“Please, Severus. They’re driving me crazy. They keep telling me they want to talk to the both of us about our relationship. Just come talk to them for a couple of minutes, for me?”

Severus heaved a long suffering sigh. It was unfair, he had no family left himself, not anyone human anyways and Charles had short of a dozen. “Fine, but I should warn you, I might make things worse.”

Charles smiled. “It’s alright. I don’t care what you tell them.” he reassured and took his hand, guiding him to the kitchen.

Molly and Arthur where having a heated discussion it seemed. They both stopped talking as the two of them walk in.

“Professor. It’s nice to see you.” said Molly awkwardly, glancing at her husband.

“Your son said, you wish to speak to me.”

Molly and Arthur exchanged another look. “Yes, please take a seat.” said Arthur, gesturing to the large dinning table.

They all sat down. Charles and him on one side and the ginger couple on the other side. Severus felt like he was on trial. “I want you to know there was nothing going on between me and your son while he was a student, nor is there anything going on with any of your other children. In fourteen years of teaching, I’ve never had a romantic relationship with a student, you can ask the other teachers or Dumbledore himself. Well, there was this one time in my first year as a teacher, but the girl was of age and had graduated the day before. She was only three years younger than me and I knew her from when I was a student myself.” he rambled on, getting more nervous by the minute.

“We never thought … we know you’re a good man Severus. You’ve been teaching our children for years.” said Arthur.

“Nevertheless, you are much older than Charlie and the two of you don’t seem to have anything in common.” added Molly, her lips tightening.

“We are more than a decade a part, yes. But whether or not we have anything in common is no concern of yours.”

“He’s our son! Of course it’s our concern who he dates.”

“Your son is a grown man, capable of making his own decisions. As long as no one tries to hurt him or take advantage of him, it’s not your place to intervene and I assure you, I’m not planning to do either of those things.”

A tense silence filled the room. It seemed to go on forever, until a pair of footsteps were heard and Lupin and Potter walked into the kitchen, engaged in conversation.

Potter peered at him curiously, while Lupin tensed. “I … I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just wanted say goodbye before I leave.” he said, running a hand through his partially wet hair.

“You’re not interrupting.” said Severus, standing up. He could feel Molly glaring at him. “I came here to see you. Can we talk in private?”

“I was just leaving. Can’t it wait until I come back?”

“No, I’m afraid it can’t.” insisted Severus.

“Alright, we can talk in my room.” conceded Lupin.

They walked up the stairs together, entering a room at the end of the hall way. The room looked bright and cozy and smelled of ink and parchment.

“Sorry about the mess.” said Lupin, attempting to tidy up a little before sitting on the bed. “What did you want to talk about?” he asked, obviously nervous.

Severus studied his potion stained hands for a moment, unsure of what to say. “You looked surprised to learn about my affair with Charles.” he started.

“I wasn’t the only one.” responded Lupin, shifting uncomfortably.

“No, you weren’t but you already knew I was with someone.”

Lupin nodded, looking at his shoes. “Seeing it made it more real. The way you two were sitting next to each other, the way he defended you just like I imagined I would if … if you returned my feelings.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” whispered Lupin, looking up with a sad smile. “You deserve to be happy and Charlie is a great guy.”

“You’re a good friend, Remus.” said Severus, sitting next to him on the bed.

The man’s smile turned a little less sad. “This is the first time you’ve called me your friend. That’s something I suppose.”

“You helped me a lot last year. I know I never thanked you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You were right when you said we were the only two people who knew what it was like to be different. If you ever feel like talking to someone who understands, I’ll be there for you. I don’t have that many friends and I’m not good at it but I can try. You tried really hard to help me even though I didn’t make it easy. I’d like to return the favor.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Severus.”

“I didn’t mean it as trading favors. Like I said, I’m not good at this.” admitted Severus. He got to his feet, feeling more unsettled than before. “Be safe.” he added before turning to the door.

“I can’t forget the way they looked at me.” said Lupin in a barely audible whisper, his voice breaking.

Severus stopped in his tracks and faced the other man.

“I love those kids, I loved teaching them. The look in their eyes … there was fear and hatred I have never seen before. It was like my worse nightmare was playing out right in front of my eyes, except I knew I wasn’t going to wake up.”

Severus felt his heart clench in sympathy. The man’s pain was raw, as it had happened the night before. “Tell me more. I’m here for you.” he said and sat back down.


	42. Spinner's End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Charlie take their relationship to the next level.

Severus sat there quietly as Remus talked, giving him his undivided attention. The werewolf told him about working as a teacher and how much it had meant to him. It had brought some kind of order in his life, giving him a purpose after feeling lost for so many years. He talked about Black and how depended the man was on him. About how lonely he was even after being reunited with his dear friend.

Once Remus was done talking, he turned to look at him with a warm smile. It made him look younger and less tired. "Thank you Severus. I don't remember the last time someone listen to what I had to say."

Severus nodded and smiled back. Remus blushed. His gaze turned darker, more intense. There was hunger in his eyes and for the first time Severus felt attracted to him. The man leaned towards him as if he couldn't resist it. Severus averted his eyes abruptly. He was not the kind of man who could cheat on his lover. Molly and Arthur were right, he did not have that much in common with their son but their relationship had awakened something deep within him, something he hadn't known was there. Remus understood him in a way Charles never could but it did not matter. Despite his best intentions he had gotten attached to the younger man and couldn't think about anyone else.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ..."

"It's alright." said Severus and rose from his place on the bed. He looked out the window, suddenly uncomfortable.

"I shouldn't have done that. I appreciate what you were trying to do here. I didn't mean to ruin it, I'm sorry." Remus rambled on. He got to his feet as well and stood as far away from him as possible.

Severus sighed. "You didn't ruin anything. I still want to be your friend." he said.

"But nothing more than that." said Remus, more to himself. He ran a hand through his hair golden and silver hair. "You must really like him."

"I do."

"Do you want some friendly advice?"

Severus narrowed his eyes but nodded.

"If you care about him, you need to let him see that." said Remus. "The best place to start would be giving him your address."

Severus scowled and folded his arms over his chest. "This is really none of your business!" he snapped.

"Your boyfriend needs to know where you live. It IS my business because I'm your friend and I don't want to see you get hurt. If you keep him at arm's length, you're going to lose him."

Severus felt his stomach turn into knots. He was afraid. It was a foreign feeling. "You think he would leave me if I don't let him into my house."

"It's obviously important to him."

"I won't be safe there if I give anyone I date my address."

"Is he just anyone?"

Severus didn't answer. He didn't know what Charles was to him, all he knew was that he couldn't lose him.

"I should get going, Severus." said Remus after a few minutes of silence. "Thank you for listening." he said with another warm smile.

They walk outside together and down the stairs. Charles was sitting in the living room with Harry potter. "You're leaving?" he asked Remus, eyeing him with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Yes, I need to get there before dark." said Remus.

"Promise me you'll take care of yourself." said Severus, surprising himself.

"I will." the other man reassured him before turning to Potter and giving him a hug. "Sirius will be back, soon. Are you going to be alright here with Molly and Arthur?" he asked the boy as he pulled away.

"They left actually." said Charles. "I'll stay with him."

Severus stared at his young lover. Charles met his eyes. There was a trace of hurt in his features. Severus was about to say something when they heard Mrs. Black' wails and his son swearing. A moment later, Black walked into the room. "Thank Merlin you're still here!" he told Remus. "I knew you wouldn't leave without saying goodbye." he continued as he came closer. His jacket and pants were dirty, as if he had been rolling around in a pile of leaves. The man's good mood seemed to disappear as he spotted Severus standing there. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?" he snapped.

Severus bared his teeth, he was feeling confused and frustrated. He didn't mind venting some of it on the irritating man. He opened his mouth to make a sarcastic comment, something that would make Black more worked up, but Remus beat him to it.

"He came to see me. If you don't like it when my friends stop by, perhaps I should look for my own place."

"You can't leave!" exclaimed Potter.

"Please tell me you're not serious." said Black.

“I am.” said Remus, raising a hand to stop further protest. “We can talk about it when I come back. I’m late already.” he added.

Black frowned but pulled Remus in a hug.

As they said their goodbyes, Severus took Charles’ hand and pulled him to a corner. “I’m sorry about before. If it means so much to you, I’ll show you my house. You’re important to me and I want you to know that.”

“You’re important to me, too.” said Charles, his face softening.

“I must warn you though, my house is not what you’d call a luxurious place. It’s the exact opposite in fact.”

Charlie gave him a look. “I’m a Weasley, not some fancy pureblood. As long as you have a bed there, I don’t care.”

“We’ll see.” said Severus and held on to his lover as he apparated them to Spinner’s End.

Charles was quiet as they walked down the grim street and entered the house at the end. “It’s … cozy.” said the young man, as he looked around the dingy living room.

“That’s one word for it.” murmured Severus. “It’s the house I grew up in. I could probably find somewhere nicer but I don’t see the point since I don’t spend that much time here. Perhaps next year.”

“Why next year?”

“Albus is the only one who knows this but I don’t want to teach at Hogwarts any more. I want to start doing research and brewing full time. I promised Albus I’d stay to the end of this year but after that I’ll be free.” explained Severus as he moved to the kitchen and put on a kettle. “This house is safe for now but I don’t know how long it’ll last.”

“Is one of the people who knows your address a Death Eater?”

“Yes, he’s an old friend. He has kept it to himself for now but that doesn’t mean he’ll keep it secret forever. Another reason I didn’t want you here.” answered Severus.

Charles didn’t say anything else as Severus prepared the tea. He looked subsided all of the sudden. His forehead was creased in a frown and his blue eyes were full of worry. It wasn’t a good look on him.

“Do you want to see my garden?” asked Severus, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’d love to.” said Charles.

They picked up their tea and walked to the back yard. Severus felt a smile pulling at his lips as the plants shifted, as if to greet him. “Those are the flowers you sent me.” he told Charles, pointing to the center of the garden.

“Wow! They’ve gotten so big.” said Charlie in awe, walking closer, careful not to step on any of the other plants.

Severus watched him admire his garden as he sipped at his tea. He could get used to this.

“Your garden is beautiful.” said Charles once he was done with is inspections and pulled him in a kiss.

Severus kissed him back, all his previous worries melting away.

“Do I get to see your bedroom?” asked Charles breathlessly.

“It’s upstairs.” whispered Severus, leaning in for another kiss. He yelped in surprise when Charles snaked his arm behind his knees and hoisted him off of his feet. He heard their teacups hit the ground as they entered the kitchen, kissing.

“Where is your bloody staircase?” asked Charles after a few minutes of fruitless search.

Severus chuckled, he fumbled with his robes until he found his wand and waved it, making the bookcases move out of the way. “You should put me down before you hurt your back.”

“You don’t weigh as much as you think.” said Charles and carried him up the stairs. “Which one?” he asked as he stopped in the narrow hallway.

“Put me down and I’ll show you.”

“No.” said Charles stubbornly and started opening the doors one by one until he found the master bedroom. He didn’t let go until they were on the bed.

They lay side by side and slowly undressed each other, touching and kissing every patch of skin they could find, until there was nothing but exposed hot flesh. 

Charles straddled him and pressed his finger against his entrance. Severus wiggled away. “I’m topping this time.” he said.

“But it’s my turn!” protested Charles.

“It’s my bed.” retorted Severus. “And I let you use my turn all the time.”

“Only because you don’t like to top. Besides, we’ve always only had sex in your bed at Hogwarts. Why is it a big deal now?”

“Because … it’s the first time I’m having sex here.”

“Really? You’ve never had sex here?” asked Charles, moving off of him.

“No, I haven’t. Now get on your back.” ordered Severus and summoned a bottle of lube. He prepared his lover with as much care as he could and made love to him slow and gentle, marking him as his own.

“See, it wasn’t so bad.” he whispered as he lay on top of Charles, spent.

“Easy for you to say, you were the one on top. My back is killing me” complained Charles.

“Should have put me down when I told you.” scolded Severus as he shifted to lay beside him.

“It’s not the carrying, it’s your damn bed! You don’t get to do that again until you get a new mattress.”

“Deal.” promised Severus, burying his head in the pillow to hide his smile. He could get used to this.


	43. Harry's Scar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has a dream about Voldemort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that this story is already one years old. Thank you all for reading and supporting me.
> 
> I hope you like the new chapter. Let me know what you think.

Harry jolted awake. His scar was burning and his breaths were coming out in sharp gasps. He looked about his room frantically and saw blue eyes shining in the dark. It took a moment for him to realize it was Padfoot. Sirius had taken to sleeping on his carpet in his animagus form a few days after Remus had left for his mission. 

“Harry? Are you alright?” asked Sirius.

Harry blinked. He hadn’t realized Sirius had changed back into human. “I had a dream. Voldemort was angry.” he said, his voice raspy. “My scar hurts.” he continued, rubbing at his forehead.

Sirius turned on the lights and handed him his glasses, his features drawn in worry. “Was it like the dreams you used to have, last year?”

Harry nodded. “He was angry at the Death Eaters. Something about Hogwarts and this woman he wanted to teach defense this year. But Dumbledore has hired somebody else.” he explained, feeling calmer the more he talked about it. “What?” he asked when he saw Sirius’ expression change.

Sirius smiled a little and sat on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t want to say anything before because it wasn’t one hundred percent but I’m going to be your new Professor.” he said.

Harry felt his eyes widen. “Really?! You’ll be our teacher? That’ll be great!” he exclaimed.

“Dumbledore asked me a couple of days ago. I never thought I’d do something as boring as teaching and I don’t really need to work with all the money my uncle has left me but I’d feel better if I can keep an eye on you during the school year.” Sirius paused, a wistful look coming to his face. Harry knew that look. Whenever his godfather recalled something from the past he’d get that look. “It would be nice to be back at Hogwarts. I had the time of my life there when I was a student. Your father and I owned the school. If there was ever anything missing, it was a cool teacher. I suppose I could remedy that.”

“Everyone’s going to love you! We always get horrible teachers for defense, except for Remus. He was the best teacher we ever had.”

Sirius snorted. “As much as I like Remus, he’s always been a stick in the mud. My classes are actually going to be fun.”

Harry grinned. He was already excited about the upcoming school year. When he was living with his aunt and uncle, he used to count the days until the summer was over but that was only because he was miserable at Private Drive. Harry liked living with Sirius, even though things hadn’t worked out as he wanted.

Having Grimmauld Place turned to order’s Headquarter this summer had been a mixed blessing. There were too many people coming and going at odd times. Most of them wouldn’t even knock, they just walked through the front door or flooed right in. They had Sirius’ permission of course and this was his house, but Harry had started to think of this place as his home, too and now everything had changed. At the beginning it used to be just him, Sirius and Remus, like a small family. Harry had yearned for a family like that since he could remember and he didn’t want to let go of the image he had made in his mind.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like the order members. Kingsley was nice, Tonks was funny and Harry thought of the Weasleys as his second family. The redheads all liked him and Mrs. Weasley would cook whenever there was a meeting and leave them plenty of food in the ice box.

It also made Sirius happy to see everyone there. ‘The old gang’ he called them. He’d talk and joke around with them and it made him look young and vibrant. Harry had noticed that his godfather rarely left the house on his own. Every time he had an errand to run, he asked Remus to come along with him. It was odd, since Harry knew Sirius didn’t like this house that much. He didn’t like to stay inside but leaving made him nervous, especially when he had to go to the wizarding world. Sometimes, he turned to his dog form and went running around to get away and sometimes he’d go to a muggle pub or to see a movie with Remus. They took Harry with them, but not when they wanted to go drinking. ‘I’ll let you drink with us on your seventeenth birthday’ Sirius had promised and Harry was already anticipating it.

“You feel like going back to sleep?” asked Sirius, bringing him out of his musings.

Harry shrugged. “I don’t think I could even if I wanted to.”

“Me neither.” said Sirius. “Why don’t you go wash up? I’ll go make some breakfast.”

Harry nodded. He lay in bed for a few more minutes imagining what it would be like to have Sirius as a teacher, his dream all but forgotten. Finally, his need to use the toilet put an end to his daydreaming. Once he had washed his face and brushed his teeth, he changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt before going downstairs.

Sirius was sitting at the dining table with a cup of tea, writing a letter. There was a pile of breakfast divided into two plates in front of him.

Harry pulled his own plate closer and started eating with relish. “Are you writing to Remus?” he asked between bites.

“You know I can’t write to him. The pack he’s running with doesn’t stay at one place for too long.” answered Sirius, putting away his quill and rolling the parchment.

“You can borrow Hedwig. She’s really smart, I bet she could find him.”

“Thanks Harry, but I don’t think that would be a good idea. It could blow Remus’ cover.” said Sirius and called his own owl. “He’ll be home soon, anyways.” he added, more to himself.

“Who’s the letter for then?”

“It’s for Dumbledore. I have to tell him about your dream.”

“It’s not like he could do anything about it.” said Harry moodily, stabbing his eggs. Dumbledore had hardly talked to him since the holiday started. Not to mention they kept him in the dark about everything that was going on even though he was the one who had faced Voldemort three times. He didn’t see why he had to tell the old Headmaster anything.

“Maybe not but he still needs to know.” insisted Sirius and sent his owl out the window.

Harry didn’t say anything. They ate in silence. That had been happening more and more often since Remus had left for his mission.

They had both emptied their plates when the owl came back with a response. “Dumbledore wants to see me in his office. He says there might be something we could do about those dreams.” said Sirius, scanning the letter.

Harry nodded. He very much doubted it.

……………………………..

Sirius had to wait a couple of hours after breakfast before apparating to the gates of Hogwarts. The gates opened for him and he crossed the grounds in long strides. He climbed the stairs and paused before the large wooden door. He grinned to himself, Hogwarts was going to be his new home. The Black manner had never felt like home, this castle was where he belonged.

He made his way to the Headmaster’s office scanning the halls. Everything was as he remembered, the stone walls, the nosy portraits, the armors. It was like he had never left, like he hadn’t spent year after year living the horror that was Azkaban, like his youth hadn’t been stolen from him. He closed his eyes as he reached the gargoyle. He could hear laughter, feel the joy, like he did back then. The dementors had taken so much from him but a ghost of the happiness still lingered somewhere deep inside of him. The laughter was James’, the brother he had chosen. He felt a dampness stinking his eyes. He swore and wiped away the tears. This was not the time. The tears were for late at night, when no one was there to see him and there was a bottle of firewhiskey on hand to wash away his sorrows.

When he was sure he had his emotions under control, Sirius took a deep breath and murmured the password. “Sherbet Lemon”.

The gargoyle moved aside to give him entrance. Sirius climbed the stairs two at a time and opened the door without knocking.

Someone was standing in front of Dumbledore’s desk, hissing at him in an almost inaudible tone.

“Hell, no.” snarled Sirius as he recognized the figure. The pair turned to look at him. Sirius walked up to the dark potions Master. The man straightened and glared back at him. Snape had changed a lot from their school years. He stood tall and confident and his hair was not a greasy stringy curtain anymore, framing a sickly face. It was long and full and pulled back from the pale face with the purple strands standing out, making him attractive and innocent looking. It didn’t fool Sirius however, the way it seemed to fool everyone else. He knew better.

He glared down at Snape, enjoying the fact that he was a bit taller. “Why is this slim ball here?” he asked, not taking his eyes off of the man.

Snape’s face twisted and he opened his mouth to retort something back but Dumbledore cut him off. “You’re both here at my request. Please take a sit.” he said in a no nonsense tone.

Sirius threw Snape a nasty look and received one in return, before sitting in the chair that the man had already claimed as his own.

“Severus, please sit down.” ordered Dumbeldore.

Snape snatched the cloak he had draped over the back of the chair and finally sat down.

Dumbledore waited for a second to make sure he had both of their attentions before turning to him. “Before we start, Sirius. I’m going to tell you what I told Remus when he first started to teach here. As a teacher, I would expect you to respect every one of your colleagues.”

Snape turned sharply to him. Sirius smirked smugly, enjoying the rage he saw in the man’s eyes as he glared at Dumbledore. The Headmaster gave Snape a warning look before turning to Sirius again. “As I was saying, you’re going to respect all of the employees including Severus. You’ll keep a civil tongue in his presence and you don’t talk harshly behind his back.” he said slowly, as if willing every word to sink in.

Sirius frowned. He didn’t like the Headmaster’s tone. “Fine.” he spat.

“You’ll do well to remember that Severus is a senior staff member and a Head of House and he is treated as such.” continued the old man. “Severus has been working here long enough to know that if he ever has an issue with any of the other school employees, he needs to talk to me about it and let me handle any problems that may arise. You, Sirius need to do the same. Is that clear?”

Sirius nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. He did not appreciate being treated like an errand boy.

Dumbledore stared at him for a moment longer before smiling in satisfaction. “Now, let’s move on to the other reason I’ve asked you two here.” he said. “I think Severus might be able to help with Harry’s scar …”

“I told you! I can’t tell if I could help him before I know what I’m dealing with.”

“You’re not getting near my godson!” snapped Sirius.

“Keep your voice down, Sirius. I won’t ask you a second time.” said Dumbledore, giving him that stare again. “As you know Severus has elf magic and is capable of doing things you and I are not. I haven’t done anything about Harry’s scar up until now, because I didn’t know how to help him. Severus might be able to do something.” the man raised a hand to halt his objections. “You know that the scare causes Harry pain and it’ll only be a matter of time before Voldemort learns of their connection and nothing will stop him from using it to his advantage. You also know that it’s not possible for Severus to cause Harry harm. I want him to examine Harry, to see if he can do something to heal him.”

Sirius sat back in his chair. He hated to admit it but Dumbledore was right. He turned his gaze to Snape. He’d die before accepting help from someone like him, yet there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for Harry. “Don’t think for a second that this changes anything.” he snapped.

Snape snorted. “Far be it from me to expect you to do anything half decent like thanking someone for helping your godson.”

“It’s settled then!” announced Dumbledore cheerfully. “We can arrange something when Harry comes here at the start of the term. I’m sure you’re anxious to get back home, Sirius. I’ll see you at the staff meeting.” he said in dismissal.

“See you Wednesday.” said Sirius, raising to his feet.

Snape made to get up as well but Dumbledore stopped him. “I believe the two of us have more to talk about.” he told the potions Master.

Sirius smirked as the man sat back down. He closed the door and stepped on the moving staircase, bracing himself before entering the corridor full of old memories.


	44. Old Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus still struggles with painful memories but now he has someone to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what you're thinking and you're right, it has been a long time. More than a month actually.
> 
> I think I'm in the danger of becoming a work zombie. That's a term I just made up and it refers to someone who has to put all their time and energy into a job that doesn't give them much satisfaction or payment. I'm going to fight this condition and I'll try to write more often. It's my 2019 resolution; to do more things for myself and stop using work as an excuse.
> 
> What about you guys? What is your resolution?

Severus sat still in the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk until he was sure Black was gone, then turned his attention to the Headmaster and found that he was being studied.

"You didn't tell him about the Horcrux." he stated.

Albus nodded. "That part shall stay between the two of us for now. All he needs to know is that Harry's scar has the potential to cause him great harm."

"I see." murmured Severus, drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair impatiently, eager to get back home.

"You seem well."

"And you're possibly glowing." said Severus, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

Albus beamed. "It must be these robes. I just got them."

Severus glanced at the bright green fabric and raised his eyebrow. "You should stick to purple and yellow. Green looks wrong on you." he commented then sighed. "Can we skip the pleasantries? I'm assuming you asked me to stay because you have something important to say?"

Albus paused, giving him that searching look again. "I do, my boy. It can wait however if there's something you wish to discuss with me."

Severus pursed his lips in annoyance. "I don't see the point. You always do as you wish anyways. I can sit here and try to reason with you until I'm blue in the face like I've done time after time and it won't make a difference. I'm done arguing with you over your questionable choices. It's my last year here and as it's costume it'll be his, too." he said, his voice raising as he ranted. He hated this. He had no control over himself when it came to the marauders. It didn't matter how many years went by. That angsty adolescent was still there, lashing out whenever he felt cornered and helpless. "Perhaps you can get Pettigrew to come teach next year, make your collection complete. And don't fret about Potter dying too soon, I'm sure his son would be more than happy to fill the void once he graduates."

Albus gave him a disapproving look. "You shouldn't joke about such matters. Peter Petitgrew is a Death Eater as you are well aware." he scolded. "As for Sirius, he's a trusted order member and even though he lacks teaching experience, he's a capable fighter and knows his defense."

"He's rude, ill-mannered and doesn't have a professional bone in his body!"

"As you saw, I made it perfectly clear to him that he needs to behave himself."

"Yes, because he always does as he's told! Did you tell him to have me killed in fifth year as well or did he come to that decision all by himself, old man?"

"Severus, my boy. You need to learn to leave the past in the past."

"The man should be locked up, not teaching children!" yelled Severus, jumping out if his seat.

"He did not betray Lily. He was cleared."

"Of that crime only." spat Severus and turned on his heels, heading for the door. He had had enough.

"Slughorn knows about the Horcruxes." said Albus, making him pause.

"And?"

"Voldemort talked to him about it when he was a student here. Horace gave me the memory but it is altered. I need the original. I believe it contains critical information."

Severus turned to face the Headmaster once more, frowning. "You want me to get the memory."

"He's curious about your inheritance. During my visit, our conversation kept turning to you. Horace pretended he was interested in the cloaking potion and its effects but it's more than that."

"I can't be the one reaching out to him. Think of something that'll make him come to me and we'll see." said Severus shortly and stepped out of the office before Albus had a chance to respond.

He usually used the Headmaster's floo to cut his trip back home short but he was too mad to wait around for that. He made his way out of the castle in long strides, the sound of his boots echoing in the empty corridors. He had lived within these walls for most of his life and had never felt like he belonged. Hogwarts had been his refuge but not his home. Becoming a Hogwarts student had kept him from his father and the chaos that had been his home life. A few short years later he had to come back to avoid imprisonment in Azkaban. Within the walls of Hogwarts he had been safe from hunger, violence and the dementors but the ancient building had never shielded him from pain and ridicule. 

They said Hogwarts was a woman and Severus had found her both loving and cruel. Just like his mother, Eileen. But Hogwarts' love was never directed at him and her cruelty was all his.

He was finally breaking free from her hold and she was punishing him for it. Potter and Black had been at the core of his suffering all these years and now one of them was coming back. He was in hell.

Severus apparated as soon as he stepped outside the wards and landed in his living room. He started pacing in the cramped space, almost tripping on the small coffee table.

He could hear Charles coming down the stairs. The man had practically moved in with him. Severus wasn't used to sharing his living space with someone else but after Charles had stood up for him and had gone against his family’s wishes, he couldn’t bring himself to complain.

“I heard you apparat in.” said Charles as he came into the view. He looked like a giant, standing in the narrow staircase. “What did Dumbledore want?”

“I can’t tell you.” said Severus and sat himself on the sofa.

“He didn’t get himself cursed again, did he?”

Severus snorted. “No, he’ll outlive us all.”

“You look stressed. How about you come back to bed and I’ll help you calm down.” said the ginger with a wink.

“I hate that bed.”

Charles frowned and sat next to him. “What’s wrong with it? It’s comfortable and big enough for me to lie down without my feet dangling out. You’re the one who chose it. You said you liked it.”

“I said it was fine. It’s just a cheap knock off.”

“You’re the one who said we shouldn’t spend too much. I offered to pay for half, remember?”

“What are you, a tape recorder?” snapped Severus.

“A what?” asked Charles in confusion. “Why are you trying to pick a fight with me? What is with you?”

“I’m a good decade older than you. You don’t get to talk to me that way!”

“I’m not your student, I’m your boyfriend. You don’t get to talk to me that way either.” Charles shot back. “You’re upset about something and you’re taking it out on me. Tell me what happened.”

Severus looked away. When had he become so transparent? When had he become so weak?

“Severus.” said Charles in a softer voice.

“Black is going to be teaching defense this year.” he said slowly.

“Merlin! No wonder you’re upset.” exclaimed Charles. “What is Dumbledore thinking?”

“He’s always liked the bastard.” said Severus bitterly. Nothing he had done was ever enough to gain the man’s approval and the marauders could never lose it.

“If it makes you feel any better, he’s going to be a terrible teacher.”

Severus snorted. “That’s what I told myself when Lupin was coming to teach and everyone ended up loving him. Everyone always loves a marauder.” he said. “That’s what they used to call themselves at school; the marauders. Black, Lupin, Potter and Pettigrew.” he explained at his boyfriend’s questioning look.

“Remus is different. He’s nice and he has the patience of a saint. You can tell by the way he puts up with Black.”

Severus found himself smiling. It was the first time someone hated Black as much as he did, who hadn’t at one point owned a Death Eater’s mask.

“Severus, you said before that you were bullied at school. Were the marauders the ones bullying you?” asked Charles, his voice gentle.

Severus met the younger man’s gaze. He felt safe with him. He could bare his soul without fear. He nodded. “I don’t know what it was. They just couldn’t get enough. They humiliated me in front of everyone and they all laughed.” he found his voice breaking. “I know what people say about me behind my back at school, it all started then. When I came back to Hogwarts to teach, I was only twenty-one and the younger students all knew me. They remembered everything, the name calling, the humiliating stories, all of it.”

“I’m so sorry, Severus.” said Charles, his expression pained. “I can’t believe I was ever one of those students.”

“You didn’t like me back then.”

“I didn’t know you back then.” corrected Charles. “You’re a good person. You don’t deserve any of it.”

Severus found himself unable to respond. He let Charles pull him close and hold him against his chest. The warm embrace melted all his stress away and he found himself relaxing. Then, Charles started petting his hair.

Severus turned his head and frowned at the man. “What the hell are you doing?” he murmured.

Charles dropped his hand. “You don’t like that?”

“It makes me feel like I’m your cat.” 

Charles chuckled, which made him more irritated. “I love you.” he blurted out between giggles.

“What?” breathed Severus, tensing up. “Why would you say that?”

“Because … because I do.” said Charles, sobering.

“But we’ve been together for all of …”

“It’s alright. You don’t have to say it back.” Charles reassured him, even though there was a sadness in his voice.

Severus settled back against the broad chest, trying to make sense of what had happened. This day was getting weirder and weirder.


	45. Back to Hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus goes to Hogwarts for the staff meeting and the start of the year preparations.

This year, Severus didn't leave any of his plants behind. It was Charles' suggestion. His boyfriend had noticed the longing in his eyes when he looked at his garden as the summer break came to an end and offered to help him transfer all of his beautiful plants to the forbidden forest. It was a silly thing to do, Severus knew, but the idea had so much appeal that he had accepted immediately.

So here they were, at Severus' spot in the forest on their hands and knees planting them one by one. He sat back on his heels when the last one was safely tucked in the soil and looked over them critically. "They're happy here." he decided. "It's colder than they're used to, but they like being in the forest."

"It's amazing how you can understand them." said Charles with awe.

"Thank you for helping me. Last year, all of them died." whispered Severus. He had tried to save a few by bringing them to his quarters but Barty Crouch junior had ripped them to shreds. They were buried in this very place.

Charles put a hand on his cheek, making him look up.

"Your hand is filthy." he protested halfheartedly. 

Charles only smiled in response and claim his mouth in a passionate kiss.

"I'm going to miss you." Severus found himself saying.

"I wish I didn't have to go."

Severus sighed. "But you should. You're late already." he said and made to get up.

Charles wrapped his arms around his waist, keeping him where he was. "If I'm late already, I can stay another hour." he said and buried his face in Severus' neck.

"Maybe we should go inside." said Severus.

"It's more romantic here."

"They're going to be watching, you know."

Charles lifted his head and glanced at the plants. They had all turned in their direction. "I don't mind. Do you?"

"Not really." answered Severus and leaned in for a kiss only to pull back. "Hagrid might walk in on us."

Charles made a face. "Then put up a ward. You must know something that would work."

Severus nodded and took out his wand. He casted three different wards just to be safe.

With the wards done, Charles picked up their discarded robes. He draped his own blue robes on the ground, then kicked off his shoes and sat down, pulling Severus' robes over himself like a blanket before starting to take off the rest of his clothes.

Turned on by his partner's eagerness, Severus joined him. Once there was nothing but bare skin between them, they mapped each other's body with their dirty hands and their mouths. Severus could hear the forest sing as they made love and in that moment, surrounded by nature and enveloped in his lovers arms, he felt not only pleasure but happiness so deep he had never known was possible.

"I love you." Charles whispered in his ear as they laid side by side.

Severus look away. He wanted Charles in his life but he didn't know if it was love. Despite spending most of his adult life thinking he was in love with his childhood friend, he had no idea what it was to be truly in love.

"You're going to have to get used to hearing it."

Severus frowned. Was there any real harm in saying the words without meaning them? He probably did mean them. And it would make the man happy. He opened his mouth but couldn't lie. Charles was an honest guy and he didn't deserve to be lied to. Severus sat up and grabbed his clothes. "You can come to my quarters to clean up." he said finally, his voice strained. "You've got mud all over your body and your robes ought to be dirty, too."

"It's alright. Dragon keepers aren't big on keeping their clothes tidy. A cleaning spell will do." said Charles and started gathering his things.

They got dressed in silence and casted cleaning charms on themselves.

"These past few days, it was nice living with you." admitted Severus, unwilling to leave things like that.

Charles smirked. "I had a feeling you were sick of me."

"I'm used to being on my own is all. I want you to know ..." Severus trailed of, not sure how to continue.

"I know." Charles reassured and leaned in for one last kiss before apparating away.

Severus ignored the ache in his chest and headed for the castle, making his way to the dungeons. He stayed there most of the day, unpacking and tending to his classroom and the Slytherin dorms. Then it was time for the staff meeting.

The meeting went more or less as Severus had expected. Black was tardy to the point that after fifteen minutes of waiting around Albus decided to start the meeting without him, only to be interrupted by the man's arrival before he even got passed the niceties. The staff members spent the next ten minutes or so gushing over their new fellow Professor, like a long lost child. Hagrid in particular was delighted to have Black around and Minerva kept smiling wistfully at the sight of him.

Black didn't spare Severus a single glance and the others seemed to forget he was there as well. When the meeting finally begun, Black kept interrupting everyone with his smart ass remarks, making them all laugh. It was their student days all over again.

Severus sat there struggling to keep his mouth shut and his expression bored. He didn’t make it to the end of the meeting. As soon as the lesson plans and quidditch matches were discussed, he gathered his things and slipped out of the staffroom. Albus' blue eyes followed him out but the others didn't notice him leaving.

Severus headed directly to the dungeons, stomping on the stone floor with more force than was necessary. He didn't know how he was going to take a whole year of this nonsense.

Upon entering his office, he was greeted by the sight of a heavy man sitting in an enlarged chair in front of the fire. Albus certainly did not waste time.

"Horace. Can't say I expected to find you here."

"Severus! It's nice to see you." said Slughorn, his mustache twitching as he smiled. "I hope you don't mind, but I had to sit down. I had forgotten how many stairs there were to the dungeons."

"Not at all."

"Today was the staff meeting, wasn't it? The Wednesday before the start of the term. It sure took long. There must have been important issues to discuss."

"You're right, Horace. The meeting did take longer than necessary. In fact, I had to slip out so that I could get to the preparations. Having been in my position you must know how busy I am.”

“Not too busy to spare a moment to catch up with your old Professor, I hope.” said Slughorn pointedly.

“Of course not.” responded Severus with a sigh and unloaded his parchments on his desk. “Would you care for some tea, or pumpkin juice?”

“A spot of tea would be lovely. If you could spike it with something strong that is.”

Severus took a bottle of firewhisky and a couple of glasses out of the liquor cabinet. “How about we skip the tea altogether?” he offered, pouring the drinks and handing one to Slughorn.

“That works for me, thank you.” the man answered and made a sound of appreciation as he took a sip.

Severus sat down, not touching his drink. “So, how have you been, Horace? Anything new?”

“Not really. Same old Horace.” answered Slughorn. “You on the other hand look nothing like I remember.”

There it was, thought Severus. “You must have seen the photos in the papers.”

“I have, but there wasn’t much of an explanation in any of the articles.”

Severus held up a hand. “I do not wish to discuss my elf side, Horace.” he said

Slughorn’s face fell. “I don’t mean to pry in your private life, Severus. I’m only curious about the potion you took. There’s not enough information out there on the cloaking potion and its effects.”

Raising an eyebrow Severus fixed the man with a hard look. “My inheritance went public more than a year ago. Why are you so interested now?”

The older man took a long sip of his drink, trying to decide how much to reveal. “A couple of weeks ago, I heard a reporter was working on an article about you. She is a rising star in her own right and has a lot of pull on the political climate of the wizarding Britain. I tried to gather some information on the cloaking potion to offer her my expertise but didn’t come up with much. Monday night she approached me personally and asked for my help, so I decided to come directly to the source.”

“That reporter wouldn’t by any chance be Rita Skeeter, would it?” asked Severus, cursing Albus and his ways.

“That’s her.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Severus tried to take his temper under control.

“She already has enough for an article, surly you can see the benefit in …”

“No. I don’t care what she ends up publishing. I’m not playing into her hands.”

“Severus, be smart.”

“I am smart enough to understand that between the two of us you’d be the one benefiting from this.”

“You’re right. I do stand to gain something in helping this woman.” conceded Slughorn at last. “There must be something you’d need that I can help you with in exchange for this information.”

Severus downed his drink in one go. “There is something.” he paused. “But I need your word that it won’t leave this room.”

“It won’t.”

“I want some dirt on Albus Dumbledore.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You’re his oldest colleague. You must know an awful lot about him.”

“Why on earth would you ask something like that?”

Severus took his time before answering, looking down into his empty glass. “I never wanted to teach. It’s a waste of my time and talents. Albus has something on me and he’s been using it to keep me here. If we were on equal footing, I could leave and follow my real passion.”

“I’m sorry, Severus. But I can’t help you. Albus is an old friend, I can’t betray his trust like that.” said Slughorn, his words laced with regret. “There must something else …”

“No.” said Severus and raised to his feet. “If you would excuse me. I have things to get to.” He sat behind his desk and started going over his lesson plans.

Slughorn stood and turned to leave, but stopped in his tracks. “There is something Albus wants to know, if you had that information you could use it as a bargaining chip.” he offered.

Severus put away the lesson plans and leaned back in his chair, looking at the man expectedly.

“He wanted to make seven of them.”

“Who? Albus? He wanted seven of what?” asked Severus in confusion.

“Not Albus. The student who talked to me. He wanted to make seven.”

The meaning of the words suddenly hit him; there were potentially seven horcruxes out there. Schooling his features, Severus gestured for Slughorn to sit. “I started taking the potion when I was young, right when I was about to go to primary school. Before that my mother hid my hair with glamour but I had full access to my elf magic.” he started his tale.


End file.
